Bears hire a Matt Eberflus when they should have hired an offensive guru to guide Justin Fields

Well, this is going to be hell on headline writers. What is this newspaper supposed to do with new Bears coach Matt Eberflus? You know, the newspaper that recently gave you “Robbin’ Some Caruso” after the Bucks’ Grayson Allen knocked the Bulls’ Alex Caruso out for six to eight weeks with a flagrant foul?

We can’t write “Eberflush” after a bad coaching decision costs the Bears a game or “Ebernezer Scrooge” following a Bears’ loss on Christmas. Why not? Because his name is pronounced “EE-ber-floos.”

“Blue ‘floos” after the Bears’ look sickly in another loss to the Packers? “Two Thumbs Down on Eber?” I see a headline wall being hit very, very soon.

This is what I worry about. That and can he coach?

Does Eberflus, the Colts defensive coordinator, have any familiarity with the part of the sport called “offense?” Is he offended by the mere idea of Justin Fields, or any quarterback?

It’s not good to be underwhelmed and perplexed at the same time, but that’s where I am today. The Bears hired a defensive coordinator when all of nature cried out for someone with a background in offense after watching how bad the Bears were under former coach Matt Nagy. If the whole idea is to find out how good Fields can be, hiring a defensive coordinator to be head coach would seem to suggest that we’ve had it wrong all along. The idea apparently is to find out how good a strong safety Fields can be.

I said in Thursday’s column that I’d give new general Ryan Poles the benefit of the doubt. And I’ll give Eberflus the benefit of the doubt as well. But he had better find a genius for an offensive coordinator.

You get the coach you deserve, and the Bears got an Eberflus. That’s not necessarily a shot at the 51-year-old coach — though it might end up being one. This is not one of the top franchises in the NFL, and many of the people trying to knock down the door to get the Bears’ general manager and head coaching jobs were not exactly household names. Team chairman George McCaskey will tell you otherwise when he meets the media to introduce his new hires, including GM Ryan Poles. He’ll wax poetic about the Bears’ head coaching position being a primo destination job. He’ll be wrong again.

Eberflus was the mind behind the Colts’ excellent defenses of the past few years, so there’s that. And people do speak highly of him, possibly because they think he’s a great coach and possibly because that’s what people do when reporters call looking for anecdotes about a new coach. People also had a lot of nice things to say about Nagy until he forgot what running backs did and how to get the most out of a young quarterback.

Only the Bears would fire two guys named Ryan and Matt and replace them with two guys named Ryan and Matt. Ryan Poles replaces former general manager Ryan Pace, and Matt Eberflus replaces Matt Nagy. It means nothing, of course, has no deeper significance, but really? So strange, and so Bears.

We’ll give Eberflus a chance because we’re kind people, but we’ll hold back on the enthusiasm because we’re been around the McCaskeys much, much too long.

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