Concerts

Traditional dating isn’t for everyone. Some people want serious relationships while others want something more casual, like a hookup. The taboo around casual dating has subsided in recent years. Casual daters have plenty of options, but most opt to try hookup sites to find what (and who) they want.

Different sites cater to different tastes. A site’s speciality is not always immediately apparent. So it can be a challenge to find the right site for you. That’s where we come in. We’ve signed up for and tried the best hookup sites and apps for casual encounters to get some action.

Let’s dive into the reviews and ratings.

Click ↓ next to the name of the site to jump straight to the review.

Best Hookup Sites and Apps for Casual Dating in 2023

RankSiteBest For1.Adult FriendFinder ↓Best overall hookup site2. BuddyBang ↓Runner-up3.BeNaughty ↓Best for flirtiest singles4.Ashley Madison ↓Best for affairs5.Seeking ↓Best for sugar baby/sugar daddy/mommy6.ALT ↓Best for alternative and BDSM sex7.OKCupid ↓Top choice for millennials8.Hinge ↓Somewhat serious, but mostly FWB9.Zoosk ↓Best for short-term dating10.Bumble ↓Best for women11.Plenty of Fish ↓Best for lots of options12.Tinder ↓Most popular app13.Pure App ↓Best for fantasy based14.Feeld ↓Most open-minded singles15.Sex Messenger ↓Best for anonymous hookups16.Reddit R4R ↓Best completely free option

1.  Adult FriendFinder – Best overall hookup site

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

Adult FriendFinder is one of the oldest hookup sites and remains one of the most popular. Although its name sound relatively innocent, you can think of it as being short for “Adult Friends with Benefit Finder.”

Adult FriendFinder caters primarily to people looking for FWB, swinging, non-monogamous relationships, threesomes, and other more experimental arrangements. Whether you’re looking for something with NSA (no strings attached), a one-night stand to spice up your marriage, or a quick fling, you likely won’t have to go too far to find someone who’s interested.

Once you create a profile on Adult FriendFinder, you can customize your search quite a bit to make your search more efficient and find these like-minded people more quickly.

Adult FriendFinder also has bonus content such as webcam shows and erotic stories. So, if you need a little warming up before connecting with someone, you’re covered. In some senses, you can think of Adult FriendFinder as a kind of interactive PornHub, as it really is home to a large community of kinky and sex-positive people.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$39.95 totalThree months$26.95/month ($80.85 total)One year$19.95/month ($239.40 total)

What Users Think About Adult FriendFinder

“I was on another site. Met a guy who told me about Adult FriendFinder (AFF). I signed up. Have been on AFF for a little over a year and a half. Have nothing but praise. When AFF works, it WORKS! For the most part, I have met some truly wonderful men. Local men, business men coming through my area, couples. Overwhelmingly positive experience and exactly what I was looking for: no strings, no drama, casual sex.”

Need a little more info before taking the plunge? Check out our in-depth Adult FriendFinder review.

2.  BuddyBang – Runner-up

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★★

As you might expect, BuddyBang is all about linking up people interested in no-strings-attached hookups or being friends with benefits. This no-judgment site operates like an express train to sex. Its goal is to be as simple as browse, chat, bang.

While you are not likely to find romance here, you will find plenty of passion. Horny adults flock to BuddyBang to chat and make new erotic connections. Ultimately, the goal is to arrange a meetup with a saucy stranger in your area. If you’re lucky, that one-night stand might turn into a longer-term arrangement.

With a relatively affordable monthly subscription and advanced search filters, getting laid on BuddyBang is fairly straightforward. In any case, it’s likely to be more efficient—and more bang for your buck (see what we did there)—than shelling out tons of cash for dinner dates that may lead nowhere.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$39.95 totalThree months$26.95/month ($80.85 total)One year$19.95/month ($239.40 total)

What Users Think About BuddyBang

“A lotta hookup sites out there, which means a lot of scams. Gotta be honest, at first I was skeptical of BuddyBang. Seemed like another fake site that just wanted your cash. But I was pleasantly surprised. More than that, I was very happy with my experience. I met a couple real girls here who, let’s just say, were down to get down. And that’s all I wanted. I wasn’t a creep. I kept it cool, wasn’t aggressive with messaging and it all worked. I recommend it!”

3.  BeNaughty – Best for flirty singles

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★Customer service★★★★★

BeNaughty unsurprisingly attracts people who are kinky and after a good time. I mean, it’s right there in the name. Fortunately, breaking the ice is easy as BeNaughty gives users many different ways to connect. You can browse the gallery or enter a naughty chat room for potential dates. When you find someone you like, you can send a wink, a message, or start a live one-on-one chat.

BeNaughty works well because it gets right to the point. Users are looking for fast fun, leaving little time for hot and cold games. They want a hookup and they usually want it ASAP. BeNaughty uses a Tinder-type function that’s geography based, which helps keep your searches relevant. After all, who’s trying to drive (or fly) hundreds or thousands of miles for a one-night-stand?

Open-minded and discreet, BeNaughty provides many filtering options that help streamline your search, whether that’s for singles or couples to join. By adjusting your searches and filters, you can find your ideal scenario and dispense with people who aren’t a good fit for you.

Membership LengthPriceThree day trial$1.05/dayOne month$27.01 totalThree months$15.15/month ($45.45 total)Six months$12.24/month ($73.44 total)

What Users Think About BeNaughty

“Here you can be selective. The choice of profiles is quite large. The girls are active, many of them are constantly online. There are those who only like online communication and do not want to go on dates. However, it is their choice. If you are interested in online flirting, it will be a lot of fun with this site. Some people want more, so I’m still looking for someone to go on a real date with me.”

4.  Ashley Madison – Best for affairs

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★★

Ashley Madison has the reputation of being a site for affairs and discreet married dating. Its slogan is literally “Life is short. Have an affair.” The brand has become notoriously in recent years for being a site for married people to flirt and hook up.

Since the site caters to people in relationships or looking to have sex with married people, Ashley Madison is generally a place where you don’t need to fear negative judgment. It’s a great site for anyone looking to add some excitement to their life and explore the world of extramarital affairs.

Ashley Madison is the first website dedicated to helping married people have affairs, and its highly committed to discretion. Despite the backlash and its somewhat negative reputation, this site remains popular and boasts a massive database that crisscrosses the globe.

Membership TierPriceBasic100 credits at $0.59/creditClassic500 credits at $0.34/creditElite1,000 credits at $0.29/credit

You message and live chat with users in exchange for credits. It’s about 5 credits to sent a message or 50 credits/hour to live chat. For more information about credits and other aspects of the site, see our full Ashley Madison review.

What Users Think About Ashley Madison

“As a woman, I can tell you that this site works. I’ve met and hooked up with a lot of great guys. However, I will say that since there are considerably more men than women on the site you have to make yourself stand out from the crowd. Women like to be wined and dined and brought on business trips, to a nice hotel, etc… Be patient, it works. I found a great guy who I have been hooking up with on a regular basis for over 2 years now and we are very happy with the arrangement.”

5.  Seeking – Best for sugar relationships

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★Customer service★★★★

Seeking may have undergone a brand transformation (fka Seeking Arrangement), but it still attracts a straightforward target audience: wealthy and experienced individuals seeking the young and attractive. This sugar daddy site is all about helping daddies and mommas find sugar babies or cubs for hookups.

There are many more women than men because the “sugar baby” focus attracts many young women to the site. In fact, Seeking claims to have four times the number of women than men in their database. The only real prerequisite for would-be sugar daddies is that they have money to throw around. They give priority to verified “elite members” who join with the sole intention of lavishing money and attention on would-be sugar babies.

While Seeking is a great site for beautiful young women looking for fun, attention, and a “daddy” to spoil them, it can be quite competitive for sugar babies. And the hopeless romantics out there are probably best avoiding sites such as Seeking in general. It’s much more geared toward hookups that may have a rather transaction-like feel.Women who’d like to meet a well-off older man also aren’t risking much with Seeking because it’s free for women seeking men.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$89.95/monthThree month$79.95/month ($239.85 total)Diamond (more premium features)$249.95/month

What Users Think About Seeking

“Came across them on Facebook and decided to spend a few bucks to find some men. Although not all the men were true to their description and some being scammers, it was pretty easy to find the genuinely interested ones from the fakes. It is a dating site for the wealthier crowd as we spend a lot of money but you can find a suitable candidate here.”

Still not sure or need more information? Check out our full Seeking review.

6.  ALT – Best for alternative relationships

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

ALT is a full-on casual sex website. It’s not for anyone who is on the hunt for a serious relationship. This site is all about casual sex in every form to gratify any sex-seeker! The website’s community is made up of those who are into alternative bondage, who enjoy hooking up online, live, and in-person for sex dates.

It’s a dating site that caters to people who want to find alternative, BDSM, bondage, and fetish partners who can connect online and meet in person. ALT speaks to swingers, dominatrixes, and mistresses looking for power exchange.

ALT is the leading BDSM site, with almost 2 million members. You can easily customize your fetish and find someone who is into the same kinks as you! Remember that this site is all about kink, such as orgies, being humiliated, or being tortured, and not about vanilla sex. So, if you’re looking for just plain sex, opt for another option on this list.

Membership TierPriceSilver$19.95/monthGold$29.95/month

What Users Think About ALT

“Don’t listen to all the haters!!!! Alt.com is one of the best sites. Been using it in the past and it worked quite good. Nowadays I’d also try Casuasexonly.com and Fetlife.com. And there are also a few smaller sites that work but they are more ‘special niche sites’.”

7. OKCupid – Best for millennials and young people

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★Customer service★★★★★

OKCupid is a mainstream dating app that caters to many different kinds of relationships. It provides a multitude of choices for millennials looking not just for long-term relationships but options for short-term relationships, casual dating, and hookups. All you have to do is set that as what you are looking for, and they match you to like-minded people!

This site gears toward a generally younger audience—the age group between 18-29. This site is also one of the most inclusive mainstream dating websites that includes many gender and orientation options, helping you zero in on the particular pool of choices you want!

OKCupid may be a mainstream dating app that includes finding long-term relationships, but given its wide range of options, filters, and preferences, it’s a great app for hookups and casual sex as well. Just be up-front and be prepared to meet a great bunch of locals looking for the same things as you.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$19.95 totalSix months$9.95/month ($59.70 total)

What Users Think About OKCupid

“OkCupid is a dating app worth checking out. For the most part I have been disappointed with my dating app experiences. I have been pleasantly surprised with the results from OkCupid. There seems to be an endless supply of genuine women interested in a relationship. After several weeks of using the app for free, I decided to become a subscriber. I have been satisfied with my decision.”

8.  Hinge – Best for hybrid serious and FWB relationships

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★Customer service★★★★★

Hinge is a mainstream dating app that focuses on finding real romance—but it is also used to find casual sex and friends with benefits. The truth about Hinge is that it’s “designed to be deleted.”

But fear not! This app is incredibly popular with the younger crowd (18 to 29 years of age) and has filters to state the nature of the relationship you’re interested in. This setup is the best for friends with benefits because you have to answer questions about yourself and your preferences, which will bring you closer to meeting someone you share similar interests with and are attracted to!

Hinge is a great hookup app for those who want to find a casual relationship where you hook up with the same person a few times instead of just a one-night stand. Just be straight up with what you’re looking for—and you might just meet a new FWB with absolutely no strings attached.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$19.95 totalThree months$20.99 totalSix months$29.99 total

What Users Think About Hinge

“Hinge is amazing! I think the thing that I like about it is that if you don’t pay it limits you to 10 likes a day and so it’s more likely that people will pay attention to you rather than getting distracted by yet another profile. And everyone is more careful about who they pick so if you match you’re more likely to talk I think. It also does a great job of conversation prompts that go with photos or without. Definitely check it out.”

9.  Zoosk – Best for short term dating

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★Customer service★★★★

Zoosk is a great short-term dating site that is internationally famous. It has a community of 35 million users in 80 different countries, and it is open to singles of all ages, races, religions, and sexual orientations—making it one of the most diverse casual dating apps.

This app may not be the best for casual hookups and one-night stands, but it is a good contender for short-term dating. If you’re in your early to mid-20s, you’ll find a great selection of singles who are interested in short-term or casual relationships.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$29.95 totalThree months$19.98/month ($59.94 total)Six months$12.49/month ($74.94 total)

What Users Think About Zoosk

“Satisfied with the outcome, pretty good dating site. I think the price is OK and I liked the option of pausing account, very useful when you’re trying to focus on one person. As we all know, it takes several attempts to meet someone you are really interested in.”

10.  Bumble – Safest for women

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★Customer service★★★★★

Bumble has gained a reputation for being different from most other mainstream dating and hookup apps. If you haven’t heard of this app already, Bumble is one of the first and only sites where women make the first move and get to screen potential men immediately. Men simply cannot reach out to any women unless they’ve initiated contact and interest.

It is catered towards and attracts more women than men looking to mingle or find networking opportunities, friends, or hookups! Even though it has a relatively positive and clean rep, it’s a great site for educated, good-looking men who are searching for successful, bold women.

Membership TierPricePremium$8.99/month

What Users Think About Bumble

“The Bumble app has an easy format to navigate and I like that women have to make the first contact. That Helped me out of my comfort zone. I liked that you can adjust your distance from possible matches.”

11.  Plenty of Fish – Best for lots of options

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★Customer service★★★★

Plenty of Fish has the largest user base. POF was launched in 2003, being one of the oldest dating sites. Since it’s free and easy to sign up, you’re going to be exposed to a lot of different types of people, looking for different things, so you’ll have to filter through them all.

Since it’s been around for a long time, it has gained a reputation as a matchmaker site that will ask questions about your family, career, and interests to match you with similar users. It’s catered for people who want to dip their toes into dating and hookup sites to explore options.

Plenty of Fish may or may not have people looking for casual sex, depending on your luck. It’s a matchmaker site that is geared more for a long-term commitment. So you have to be prepared to screen different kinds of people.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$19.99/monthThree months$9.80/month ($29.40/total)One year$5.95/month ($71.40 total)

What Users Think About Plenty of Fish

“Plenty of catfish and foreigners who can’t speak English. However, even if you’re not a paid subscriber you can opt in for only paid subscribers. The site also provides an option for voice calls through the app. I’m going to try the site out for a month or so, then may upgrade to being a paid subscriber. POF has really improved its website since I was on it a year ago. Have fun and meet someone!”

12.  Tinder – Most popular app

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

You didn’t think this list was going to end without this sex gem of an app, did you? Tinder is the most widely known hookup app of this generation. It has an infamous rep for finding casual sex ASAP.

Tinder caters to men and women looking to get laid based on appearance. It’s known for its classic swiping left to reject and swiping right to like someone’s profile. If you’re looking for sex, Tinder has a huge user base and a large number of locals, meaning you can probably secure a sex date tonight—but the catch is that your profile needs to stand out. If you’re not conventionally attractive, you’re going to struggle to find dates.

For men who can’t seem to find dates, Tinder has a large user base of escorts who will private message their rates. If you’re horny and want it—then maybe you can meet a potential escort on Tinder.

Membership Length/TierPriceLimited SwipesFreeOne month$9.99 total if you’re under 30One month$19.99 total if you’re over 30

What Users Think About Tinder

“I’ve been using tinder for quite some time and I really enjoy it! I travel a lot and t’s great way to meet new people. Tinder has a feature called Face To Face you can use to video chat within the app. Tinder has on-demand safety features via Noonlight, which offers a Timeline feature where users can share first date details on their Timelines, like who they’re meeting, when and where. Users can also discreetly contact emergency services via Noonlight.”

13.  Pure App – Best for fantasy based hookups

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

Pure App was created for shameless and judgment-free fantasy and desire-based dating. This app is purely for NSA affairs and is completely secretive and anonymous. It encourages its users to be whoever they choose to be and still be themselves.

It caters to people who have wild fantasies or desires that aren’t celebrated on mainstream dating and hookup apps. It allows your individuality to shine through—choosing your gender and sexuality—and providing guaranteed privacy and safety to video chat and meet whoever shares the same fantasies as you.

Pure App uses your GPS location on your phone to find other Pure users looking for some NSA action. You just have to post a photo and an up-front headline and wait to see if anyone close is interested. When you’re done, your profile will vanish, along with all your messages and photos—no need to worry about deactivating or privacy issues.

Membership LengthPriceOne week$14.99 totalOne month$19.99 total

What Users Think About Pure App

“I am a 25 year old attractive woman, I have never been on a site before however After almost a year of dating and taking things slowly and 4 months of not being interested enough to take things further, I broke and downloaded pure. Downloaded Wednesday, Thursday (yesterday) spontaneously arranged to meet a really really attractive guy who spent a few great hours with me. We got along really well. I also had a video chat with a really attractive couple who I’ll be meeting soon. I’m speaking to other really attractive guys as well.”

14.  Feeld – Best for adventurous singles

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

Feeld is a hookup app for couples and singles to explore their kinks and desires in a no-judgement atmosphere.

It includes couples’ accounts where you and your partner can date a lover or meet someone for a threesome. It’s inclusive for all genders and sexual orientations. Overall, it’s a sex-positive space for anyone looking to explore beyond “the norm” in today’s society.

Feeld prides itself on being responsible and ethical. It connects people with like-minded folk and encourages curious monogamous couples to link with partners who are also interested. It is a safe space that allows couples to explore their desires in the most honest way possible.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$14.99 totalThree months$29.98 total

What Users Think About Feeld

“It’s called the ‘Tinder for threesomes’ for a reason. I’ll let you do the imagining.”

15.  Sex Messenger – Best for anonymous hookups

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★Success rate★★★★Customer service★★★★

Sex Messenger is an anonymous instant messaging app—like WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger. But you never share your name because it’s meant to be discreet and only for sexting and trading nudes.

This app is an adult social network that is much more than an online sex chat. It caters to people who want to connect with other people who want to engage in sex and dirty talk, and fulfill each other’s sexual fantasies. Instant messaging on this app and posting blog entries will help you gain the attention you want from like-minded people.

All members must verify their accounts, so this weeds out fake profiles, scammers, and bots. Members can contribute to the website through Sex Messenger’s forums, chats, group sections, sex stories, and blogs. It’s all anonymous and fully discrete. This app is a great way to sext, increase sexual tension, and finally meet up to do the deed.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$14.95 total

What Users Think About Sex Messenger

“I’m recently single and wanted to have a little fun but was skeptical about trying something online. You hear about the horror stories. I found Sex Messenger and immediately thought SCAM. But I gave it a shot and found a couple fun guys within a couple weeks. I didn’t need to renew my membership.”

16.  Reddit R4R – Best completely free option

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★★Success rate★★★★Customer service★★★

Reddit R4R is one of the best options for browse casual sex options for free. If you’re looking for a hookup but don’t want to sign up, post photos of yourself, and write out a bio to describe who you are and what you want . . . you found the site for you!

This site works as a personals subreddit. It works like any other subreddit. Anyone can post—no photos, no personal information needed! All you have to do is list some things about yourself and the type of person you’re looking for. And then you wait to see if anyone responds to your post.

Reddit R4R is free, so all you have to do is download the Reddit app, and you don’t need to worry about spending money. If you want to be a trusted member and not get blocked, just follow the posting rules! Users love this site to get laid because it’s easy to use, free, and starts an instant conversation with like-minded people.

Membership TierPriceUnlimitedFree

What Users Think About Reddit R4R

“Look, it’s Reddit. You ‘get what you pay for,’ but it’s cool to scroll the profiles and chat for free. Too many guys but I definitely found and met up with a couple hotties.”

Hookup Site Guide

Still on the fence about whether or not you should start using hookup apps? Or maybe you’re already using them but want some more information? Check out this useful guide to answer any lingering questions you may have and walk away with some important safety tips about casual sex.

What Makes a Hookup Site Good?

It’s important to note that different sites cater to different kinds of people. So before creating a profile on any old hookup site, read the reviews to make sure it meets your needs.

Here are a few tips to find the best hookup site specific to you:

If you have a particular kink or preference, keep an eye out for it. (example: Looking for discreet affairs? Ashley Madison is the one for you!)
Make sure the size of the user base is relatively large. More options mean a better chance of finding someone to hook up with.
Find a site that allows users to be up-front about what they want. Usually, apps have preferences, and you can set yours to “casual relationship” or “hookup.”
Make sure the customer service contact information is front and center. You shouldn’t have to go on an expedition to contact the site.

FAQs About Hookup Sites

Q: Are hookup sites safe?

Like any online dating platform, reputable hookup sites have embedded safety features that still require user discretion. It can be dangerous if you don’t take proper safety measures. Generally, these sites and apps regulate safety by banning bots and scammers and have options to report any bad or suspicious behavior. So if you’re planning on joining, be aware and try your best not to be too gullible—you can never be sure who you will come across online!

Q: Are there any completely free hookup sites?

It sucks that most dating apps and casual sex apps require you to subscribe to get optimum results. But sites like Reddit R4R and Craigslist Activities offer a free platform to chat, flirt, and arrange sex dates. But the only downside is that there is no moderation and you won’t be talking to a verified profile and have to be extra cautious.

Q: What hookup sites are free for women?

The reality is that dating apps make it very easy for women to find sex. Most high-rated dating sites offer women free memberships (mostly to balance out the male/female ratio on their site). Sex sites that are free for women include Bumble, OkCupid, Tinder, Seeking, Hinge, Her, and Pure.

Q: What is the best LGBTQ+ option?

Though there are a few options, only two rise to the top. HER is the best for women seeking women and Grindr is best for men seeking for men. These two sites also cater to non-binary people.

Final Verdict

If you’re looking for some action tonight, welcome to the world of casual sex sites and apps.

The best hookup sites are on top for a reason—everyone on there is eager to find sex and casual flings just like you! More than mainstream dating apps that cater to a plethora of things such as long-term dating, friendships, and so on, hookup apps are catered only towards sex and NSA fun!

The best hookup site is Adult FriendFinder (AFF) followed closely by BuddyBang. AFF emphasizes anonymity, safety, a massive user base, and a brand name that is verified. Most people on this site are looking for a good time with so many different types of kinks and fantasies. So what are you waiting for?

Hopefully, this list gives you an idea of what sex app is the best for you to get started on today.

Read More

Traditional dating isn’t for everyone. Some people want serious relationships while others want something more casual, like a hookup. The taboo around casual dating has subsided in recent years. Casual daters have plenty of options, but most opt to try hookup sites to find what (and who) they want.

Different sites cater to different tastes. A site’s speciality is not always immediately apparent. So it can be a challenge to find the right site for you. That’s where we come in. We’ve signed up for and tried the best hookup sites and apps for casual encounters to get some action.

Let’s dive into the reviews and ratings.

Click ↓ next to the name of the site to jump straight to the review.

Best Hookup Sites and Apps for Casual Dating in 2023

RankSiteBest For1.Adult FriendFinder ↓Best overall hookup site2. BuddyBang ↓Runner-up3.BeNaughty ↓Best for flirtiest singles4.Ashley Madison ↓Best for affairs5.Seeking ↓Best for sugar baby/sugar daddy/mommy6.ALT ↓Best for alternative and BDSM sex7.OKCupid ↓Top choice for millennials8.Hinge ↓Somewhat serious, but mostly FWB9.Zoosk ↓Best for short-term dating10.Bumble ↓Best for women11.Plenty of Fish ↓Best for lots of options12.Tinder ↓Most popular app13.Pure App ↓Best for fantasy based14.Feeld ↓Most open-minded singles15.Sex Messenger ↓Best for anonymous hookups16.Reddit R4R ↓Best completely free option

1.  Adult FriendFinder – Best overall hookup site

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

Adult FriendFinder is one of the oldest hookup sites and remains one of the most popular. Although its name sound relatively innocent, you can think of it as being short for “Adult Friends with Benefit Finder.”

Adult FriendFinder caters primarily to people looking for FWB, swinging, non-monogamous relationships, threesomes, and other more experimental arrangements. Whether you’re looking for something with NSA (no strings attached), a one-night stand to spice up your marriage, or a quick fling, you likely won’t have to go too far to find someone who’s interested.

Once you create a profile on Adult FriendFinder, you can customize your search quite a bit to make your search more efficient and find these like-minded people more quickly.

Adult FriendFinder also has bonus content such as webcam shows and erotic stories. So, if you need a little warming up before connecting with someone, you’re covered. In some senses, you can think of Adult FriendFinder as a kind of interactive PornHub, as it really is home to a large community of kinky and sex-positive people.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$39.95 totalThree months$26.95/month ($80.85 total)One year$19.95/month ($239.40 total)

What Users Think About Adult FriendFinder

“I was on another site. Met a guy who told me about Adult FriendFinder (AFF). I signed up. Have been on AFF for a little over a year and a half. Have nothing but praise. When AFF works, it WORKS! For the most part, I have met some truly wonderful men. Local men, business men coming through my area, couples. Overwhelmingly positive experience and exactly what I was looking for: no strings, no drama, casual sex.”

Need a little more info before taking the plunge? Check out our in-depth Adult FriendFinder review.

2.  BuddyBang – Runner-up

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★★

As you might expect, BuddyBang is all about linking up people interested in no-strings-attached hookups or being friends with benefits. This no-judgment site operates like an express train to sex. Its goal is to be as simple as browse, chat, bang.

While you are not likely to find romance here, you will find plenty of passion. Horny adults flock to BuddyBang to chat and make new erotic connections. Ultimately, the goal is to arrange a meetup with a saucy stranger in your area. If you’re lucky, that one-night stand might turn into a longer-term arrangement.

With a relatively affordable monthly subscription and advanced search filters, getting laid on BuddyBang is fairly straightforward. In any case, it’s likely to be more efficient—and more bang for your buck (see what we did there)—than shelling out tons of cash for dinner dates that may lead nowhere.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$39.95 totalThree months$26.95/month ($80.85 total)One year$19.95/month ($239.40 total)

What Users Think About BuddyBang

“A lotta hookup sites out there, which means a lot of scams. Gotta be honest, at first I was skeptical of BuddyBang. Seemed like another fake site that just wanted your cash. But I was pleasantly surprised. More than that, I was very happy with my experience. I met a couple real girls here who, let’s just say, were down to get down. And that’s all I wanted. I wasn’t a creep. I kept it cool, wasn’t aggressive with messaging and it all worked. I recommend it!”

3.  BeNaughty – Best for flirty singles

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★Customer service★★★★★

BeNaughty unsurprisingly attracts people who are kinky and after a good time. I mean, it’s right there in the name. Fortunately, breaking the ice is easy as BeNaughty gives users many different ways to connect. You can browse the gallery or enter a naughty chat room for potential dates. When you find someone you like, you can send a wink, a message, or start a live one-on-one chat.

BeNaughty works well because it gets right to the point. Users are looking for fast fun, leaving little time for hot and cold games. They want a hookup and they usually want it ASAP. BeNaughty uses a Tinder-type function that’s geography based, which helps keep your searches relevant. After all, who’s trying to drive (or fly) hundreds or thousands of miles for a one-night-stand?

Open-minded and discreet, BeNaughty provides many filtering options that help streamline your search, whether that’s for singles or couples to join. By adjusting your searches and filters, you can find your ideal scenario and dispense with people who aren’t a good fit for you.

Membership LengthPriceThree day trial$1.05/dayOne month$27.01 totalThree months$15.15/month ($45.45 total)Six months$12.24/month ($73.44 total)

What Users Think About BeNaughty

“Here you can be selective. The choice of profiles is quite large. The girls are active, many of them are constantly online. There are those who only like online communication and do not want to go on dates. However, it is their choice. If you are interested in online flirting, it will be a lot of fun with this site. Some people want more, so I’m still looking for someone to go on a real date with me.”

4.  Ashley Madison – Best for affairs

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★★

Ashley Madison has the reputation of being a site for affairs and discreet married dating. Its slogan is literally “Life is short. Have an affair.” The brand has become notoriously in recent years for being a site for married people to flirt and hook up.

Since the site caters to people in relationships or looking to have sex with married people, Ashley Madison is generally a place where you don’t need to fear negative judgment. It’s a great site for anyone looking to add some excitement to their life and explore the world of extramarital affairs.

Ashley Madison is the first website dedicated to helping married people have affairs, and its highly committed to discretion. Despite the backlash and its somewhat negative reputation, this site remains popular and boasts a massive database that crisscrosses the globe.

Membership TierPriceBasic100 credits at $0.59/creditClassic500 credits at $0.34/creditElite1,000 credits at $0.29/credit

You message and live chat with users in exchange for credits. It’s about 5 credits to sent a message or 50 credits/hour to live chat. For more information about credits and other aspects of the site, see our full Ashley Madison review.

What Users Think About Ashley Madison

“As a woman, I can tell you that this site works. I’ve met and hooked up with a lot of great guys. However, I will say that since there are considerably more men than women on the site you have to make yourself stand out from the crowd. Women like to be wined and dined and brought on business trips, to a nice hotel, etc… Be patient, it works. I found a great guy who I have been hooking up with on a regular basis for over 2 years now and we are very happy with the arrangement.”

5.  Seeking – Best for sugar relationships

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★Customer service★★★★

Seeking may have undergone a brand transformation (fka Seeking Arrangement), but it still attracts a straightforward target audience: wealthy and experienced individuals seeking the young and attractive. This sugar daddy site is all about helping daddies and mommas find sugar babies or cubs for hookups.

There are many more women than men because the “sugar baby” focus attracts many young women to the site. In fact, Seeking claims to have four times the number of women than men in their database. The only real prerequisite for would-be sugar daddies is that they have money to throw around. They give priority to verified “elite members” who join with the sole intention of lavishing money and attention on would-be sugar babies.

While Seeking is a great site for beautiful young women looking for fun, attention, and a “daddy” to spoil them, it can be quite competitive for sugar babies. And the hopeless romantics out there are probably best avoiding sites such as Seeking in general. It’s much more geared toward hookups that may have a rather transaction-like feel.Women who’d like to meet a well-off older man also aren’t risking much with Seeking because it’s free for women seeking men.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$89.95/monthThree month$79.95/month ($239.85 total)Diamond (more premium features)$249.95/month

What Users Think About Seeking

“Came across them on Facebook and decided to spend a few bucks to find some men. Although not all the men were true to their description and some being scammers, it was pretty easy to find the genuinely interested ones from the fakes. It is a dating site for the wealthier crowd as we spend a lot of money but you can find a suitable candidate here.”

Still not sure or need more information? Check out our full Seeking review.

6.  ALT – Best for alternative relationships

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ALT is a full-on casual sex website. It’s not for anyone who is on the hunt for a serious relationship. This site is all about casual sex in every form to gratify any sex-seeker! The website’s community is made up of those who are into alternative bondage, who enjoy hooking up online, live, and in-person for sex dates.

It’s a dating site that caters to people who want to find alternative, BDSM, bondage, and fetish partners who can connect online and meet in person. ALT speaks to swingers, dominatrixes, and mistresses looking for power exchange.

ALT is the leading BDSM site, with almost 2 million members. You can easily customize your fetish and find someone who is into the same kinks as you! Remember that this site is all about kink, such as orgies, being humiliated, or being tortured, and not about vanilla sex. So, if you’re looking for just plain sex, opt for another option on this list.

Membership TierPriceSilver$19.95/monthGold$29.95/month

What Users Think About ALT

“Don’t listen to all the haters!!!! Alt.com is one of the best sites. Been using it in the past and it worked quite good. Nowadays I’d also try Casuasexonly.com and Fetlife.com. And there are also a few smaller sites that work but they are more ‘special niche sites’.”

7. OKCupid – Best for millennials and young people

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★Customer service★★★★★

OKCupid is a mainstream dating app that caters to many different kinds of relationships. It provides a multitude of choices for millennials looking not just for long-term relationships but options for short-term relationships, casual dating, and hookups. All you have to do is set that as what you are looking for, and they match you to like-minded people!

This site gears toward a generally younger audience—the age group between 18-29. This site is also one of the most inclusive mainstream dating websites that includes many gender and orientation options, helping you zero in on the particular pool of choices you want!

OKCupid may be a mainstream dating app that includes finding long-term relationships, but given its wide range of options, filters, and preferences, it’s a great app for hookups and casual sex as well. Just be up-front and be prepared to meet a great bunch of locals looking for the same things as you.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$19.95 totalSix months$9.95/month ($59.70 total)

What Users Think About OKCupid

“OkCupid is a dating app worth checking out. For the most part I have been disappointed with my dating app experiences. I have been pleasantly surprised with the results from OkCupid. There seems to be an endless supply of genuine women interested in a relationship. After several weeks of using the app for free, I decided to become a subscriber. I have been satisfied with my decision.”

8.  Hinge – Best for hybrid serious and FWB relationships

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★Customer service★★★★★

Hinge is a mainstream dating app that focuses on finding real romance—but it is also used to find casual sex and friends with benefits. The truth about Hinge is that it’s “designed to be deleted.”

But fear not! This app is incredibly popular with the younger crowd (18 to 29 years of age) and has filters to state the nature of the relationship you’re interested in. This setup is the best for friends with benefits because you have to answer questions about yourself and your preferences, which will bring you closer to meeting someone you share similar interests with and are attracted to!

Hinge is a great hookup app for those who want to find a casual relationship where you hook up with the same person a few times instead of just a one-night stand. Just be straight up with what you’re looking for—and you might just meet a new FWB with absolutely no strings attached.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$19.95 totalThree months$20.99 totalSix months$29.99 total

What Users Think About Hinge

“Hinge is amazing! I think the thing that I like about it is that if you don’t pay it limits you to 10 likes a day and so it’s more likely that people will pay attention to you rather than getting distracted by yet another profile. And everyone is more careful about who they pick so if you match you’re more likely to talk I think. It also does a great job of conversation prompts that go with photos or without. Definitely check it out.”

9.  Zoosk – Best for short term dating

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★Customer service★★★★

Zoosk is a great short-term dating site that is internationally famous. It has a community of 35 million users in 80 different countries, and it is open to singles of all ages, races, religions, and sexual orientations—making it one of the most diverse casual dating apps.

This app may not be the best for casual hookups and one-night stands, but it is a good contender for short-term dating. If you’re in your early to mid-20s, you’ll find a great selection of singles who are interested in short-term or casual relationships.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$29.95 totalThree months$19.98/month ($59.94 total)Six months$12.49/month ($74.94 total)

What Users Think About Zoosk

“Satisfied with the outcome, pretty good dating site. I think the price is OK and I liked the option of pausing account, very useful when you’re trying to focus on one person. As we all know, it takes several attempts to meet someone you are really interested in.”

10.  Bumble – Safest for women

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Bumble has gained a reputation for being different from most other mainstream dating and hookup apps. If you haven’t heard of this app already, Bumble is one of the first and only sites where women make the first move and get to screen potential men immediately. Men simply cannot reach out to any women unless they’ve initiated contact and interest.

It is catered towards and attracts more women than men looking to mingle or find networking opportunities, friends, or hookups! Even though it has a relatively positive and clean rep, it’s a great site for educated, good-looking men who are searching for successful, bold women.

Membership TierPricePremium$8.99/month

What Users Think About Bumble

“The Bumble app has an easy format to navigate and I like that women have to make the first contact. That Helped me out of my comfort zone. I liked that you can adjust your distance from possible matches.”

11.  Plenty of Fish – Best for lots of options

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★Customer service★★★★

Plenty of Fish has the largest user base. POF was launched in 2003, being one of the oldest dating sites. Since it’s free and easy to sign up, you’re going to be exposed to a lot of different types of people, looking for different things, so you’ll have to filter through them all.

Since it’s been around for a long time, it has gained a reputation as a matchmaker site that will ask questions about your family, career, and interests to match you with similar users. It’s catered for people who want to dip their toes into dating and hookup sites to explore options.

Plenty of Fish may or may not have people looking for casual sex, depending on your luck. It’s a matchmaker site that is geared more for a long-term commitment. So you have to be prepared to screen different kinds of people.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$19.99/monthThree months$9.80/month ($29.40/total)One year$5.95/month ($71.40 total)

What Users Think About Plenty of Fish

“Plenty of catfish and foreigners who can’t speak English. However, even if you’re not a paid subscriber you can opt in for only paid subscribers. The site also provides an option for voice calls through the app. I’m going to try the site out for a month or so, then may upgrade to being a paid subscriber. POF has really improved its website since I was on it a year ago. Have fun and meet someone!”

12.  Tinder – Most popular app

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

You didn’t think this list was going to end without this sex gem of an app, did you? Tinder is the most widely known hookup app of this generation. It has an infamous rep for finding casual sex ASAP.

Tinder caters to men and women looking to get laid based on appearance. It’s known for its classic swiping left to reject and swiping right to like someone’s profile. If you’re looking for sex, Tinder has a huge user base and a large number of locals, meaning you can probably secure a sex date tonight—but the catch is that your profile needs to stand out. If you’re not conventionally attractive, you’re going to struggle to find dates.

For men who can’t seem to find dates, Tinder has a large user base of escorts who will private message their rates. If you’re horny and want it—then maybe you can meet a potential escort on Tinder.

Membership Length/TierPriceLimited SwipesFreeOne month$9.99 total if you’re under 30One month$19.99 total if you’re over 30

What Users Think About Tinder

“I’ve been using tinder for quite some time and I really enjoy it! I travel a lot and t’s great way to meet new people. Tinder has a feature called Face To Face you can use to video chat within the app. Tinder has on-demand safety features via Noonlight, which offers a Timeline feature where users can share first date details on their Timelines, like who they’re meeting, when and where. Users can also discreetly contact emergency services via Noonlight.”

13.  Pure App – Best for fantasy based hookups

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

Pure App was created for shameless and judgment-free fantasy and desire-based dating. This app is purely for NSA affairs and is completely secretive and anonymous. It encourages its users to be whoever they choose to be and still be themselves.

It caters to people who have wild fantasies or desires that aren’t celebrated on mainstream dating and hookup apps. It allows your individuality to shine through—choosing your gender and sexuality—and providing guaranteed privacy and safety to video chat and meet whoever shares the same fantasies as you.

Pure App uses your GPS location on your phone to find other Pure users looking for some NSA action. You just have to post a photo and an up-front headline and wait to see if anyone close is interested. When you’re done, your profile will vanish, along with all your messages and photos—no need to worry about deactivating or privacy issues.

Membership LengthPriceOne week$14.99 totalOne month$19.99 total

What Users Think About Pure App

“I am a 25 year old attractive woman, I have never been on a site before however After almost a year of dating and taking things slowly and 4 months of not being interested enough to take things further, I broke and downloaded pure. Downloaded Wednesday, Thursday (yesterday) spontaneously arranged to meet a really really attractive guy who spent a few great hours with me. We got along really well. I also had a video chat with a really attractive couple who I’ll be meeting soon. I’m speaking to other really attractive guys as well.”

14.  Feeld – Best for adventurous singles

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Feeld is a hookup app for couples and singles to explore their kinks and desires in a no-judgement atmosphere.

It includes couples’ accounts where you and your partner can date a lover or meet someone for a threesome. It’s inclusive for all genders and sexual orientations. Overall, it’s a sex-positive space for anyone looking to explore beyond “the norm” in today’s society.

Feeld prides itself on being responsible and ethical. It connects people with like-minded folk and encourages curious monogamous couples to link with partners who are also interested. It is a safe space that allows couples to explore their desires in the most honest way possible.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$14.99 totalThree months$29.98 total

What Users Think About Feeld

“It’s called the ‘Tinder for threesomes’ for a reason. I’ll let you do the imagining.”

15.  Sex Messenger – Best for anonymous hookups

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★Success rate★★★★Customer service★★★★

Sex Messenger is an anonymous instant messaging app—like WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger. But you never share your name because it’s meant to be discreet and only for sexting and trading nudes.

This app is an adult social network that is much more than an online sex chat. It caters to people who want to connect with other people who want to engage in sex and dirty talk, and fulfill each other’s sexual fantasies. Instant messaging on this app and posting blog entries will help you gain the attention you want from like-minded people.

All members must verify their accounts, so this weeds out fake profiles, scammers, and bots. Members can contribute to the website through Sex Messenger’s forums, chats, group sections, sex stories, and blogs. It’s all anonymous and fully discrete. This app is a great way to sext, increase sexual tension, and finally meet up to do the deed.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$14.95 total

What Users Think About Sex Messenger

“I’m recently single and wanted to have a little fun but was skeptical about trying something online. You hear about the horror stories. I found Sex Messenger and immediately thought SCAM. But I gave it a shot and found a couple fun guys within a couple weeks. I didn’t need to renew my membership.”

16.  Reddit R4R – Best completely free option

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Reddit R4R is one of the best options for browse casual sex options for free. If you’re looking for a hookup but don’t want to sign up, post photos of yourself, and write out a bio to describe who you are and what you want . . . you found the site for you!

This site works as a personals subreddit. It works like any other subreddit. Anyone can post—no photos, no personal information needed! All you have to do is list some things about yourself and the type of person you’re looking for. And then you wait to see if anyone responds to your post.

Reddit R4R is free, so all you have to do is download the Reddit app, and you don’t need to worry about spending money. If you want to be a trusted member and not get blocked, just follow the posting rules! Users love this site to get laid because it’s easy to use, free, and starts an instant conversation with like-minded people.

Membership TierPriceUnlimitedFree

What Users Think About Reddit R4R

“Look, it’s Reddit. You ‘get what you pay for,’ but it’s cool to scroll the profiles and chat for free. Too many guys but I definitely found and met up with a couple hotties.”

Hookup Site Guide

Still on the fence about whether or not you should start using hookup apps? Or maybe you’re already using them but want some more information? Check out this useful guide to answer any lingering questions you may have and walk away with some important safety tips about casual sex.

What Makes a Hookup Site Good?

It’s important to note that different sites cater to different kinds of people. So before creating a profile on any old hookup site, read the reviews to make sure it meets your needs.

Here are a few tips to find the best hookup site specific to you:

If you have a particular kink or preference, keep an eye out for it. (example: Looking for discreet affairs? Ashley Madison is the one for you!)
Make sure the size of the user base is relatively large. More options mean a better chance of finding someone to hook up with.
Find a site that allows users to be up-front about what they want. Usually, apps have preferences, and you can set yours to “casual relationship” or “hookup.”
Make sure the customer service contact information is front and center. You shouldn’t have to go on an expedition to contact the site.

FAQs About Hookup Sites

Q: Are hookup sites safe?

Like any online dating platform, reputable hookup sites have embedded safety features that still require user discretion. It can be dangerous if you don’t take proper safety measures. Generally, these sites and apps regulate safety by banning bots and scammers and have options to report any bad or suspicious behavior. So if you’re planning on joining, be aware and try your best not to be too gullible—you can never be sure who you will come across online!

Q: Are there any completely free hookup sites?

It sucks that most dating apps and casual sex apps require you to subscribe to get optimum results. But sites like Reddit R4R and Craigslist Activities offer a free platform to chat, flirt, and arrange sex dates. But the only downside is that there is no moderation and you won’t be talking to a verified profile and have to be extra cautious.

Q: What hookup sites are free for women?

The reality is that dating apps make it very easy for women to find sex. Most high-rated dating sites offer women free memberships (mostly to balance out the male/female ratio on their site). Sex sites that are free for women include Bumble, OkCupid, Tinder, Seeking, Hinge, Her, and Pure.

Q: What is the best LGBTQ+ option?

Though there are a few options, only two rise to the top. HER is the best for women seeking women and Grindr is best for men seeking for men. These two sites also cater to non-binary people.

Final Verdict

If you’re looking for some action tonight, welcome to the world of casual sex sites and apps.

The best hookup sites are on top for a reason—everyone on there is eager to find sex and casual flings just like you! More than mainstream dating apps that cater to a plethora of things such as long-term dating, friendships, and so on, hookup apps are catered only towards sex and NSA fun!

The best hookup site is Adult FriendFinder (AFF) followed closely by BuddyBang. AFF emphasizes anonymity, safety, a massive user base, and a brand name that is verified. Most people on this site are looking for a good time with so many different types of kinks and fantasies. So what are you waiting for?

Hopefully, this list gives you an idea of what sex app is the best for you to get started on today.

Read More

In the February 28 municipal election, more than 100 candidates are running for the city’s newly created Police District Councils (PDCs). The councils were created by the 2021 Empowering Communities for Public Safety (ECPS) ordinance, which came after decades of organizing, and are the first time Chicago will have elected civilian oversight of the police. Each of Chicago’s 22 Police Districts will have a three-member PDC, and the ordinance also created a citywide Community Commission for Public Safety Administration (CCPSA).

The candidates in these races have varying backgrounds. More than half of the candidates worked with the ECPS coalition that pushed to get the ordinance passed, and support greater accountability for police. Many of them are survivors of police brutality or have family members who were brutalized or killed by police. About a dozen candidates are ex-cops or are backed by the Fraternal Order of Police (FOP), which spent at least $25,000 on the race. 

Most of the candidates are middle-aged or older. A few, however, are younger than 25. On February 1, the Reader interviewed four of the youngest candidates at the 25th Ward IPO office in Pilsen. William “The Kid” Guerrero, a candidate in the 12th District, is 21 years old. Fourteenth District candidate Ashley Vargas is 23, as is Anthony Michael Tamez, who is running in the 17th. Saul Arellano is a 24-year-old candidate in the 25th District.

All four agreed that policing disproportionately impacts youth, and Black and Brown youth in particular. They pointed to the city’s gang database, the prevalence of police in public schools, particularly in schools that predominantly serve Black and Brown neighborhoods, and the curfew Mayor Lori Lightfoot imposed on Millenium Park as examples. All four also discussed the importance of having youth in public office and the perspectives they can bring that older candidates may not be able to. 

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Daley: Why is it important to have youth representation on the PDCs and in government generally?

Guerrero: There’s a lack of representation in government, and we barely see young people have a say. Oftentimes we’re limited: we don’t know where the table is at, or if we do, we have to demand to be at the table. The PDC position is unique. It’s a great start to our political careers, and a way to understand how we can hold the police and public servants and elected officials accountable. We’re making sure the young people have a say in what public safety should look like. 

Arellano: We’ve done a lot of public service. For many years, we’ve worked with organizations fighting for immigration rights, for housing rights, for affordable housing and for different things. Our movement right now, what we’re doing in the 25th District, is a youth-led movement. There were three of us who said we needed to do something, and I was the one who was like, “I need to run.” I’ve worked at the Boys and Girls Club, and I’ve learned how to love kids and how successful they can become, but they need mentorship and guidance, they need programs that are going to be there to help them. When you truly invest in those kids, they will be successful. And that’s why I decided to run. 

We always get told the youth are the future. Well, we’re telling people “we are the now, we are here, and it’s time for us.” Our time is now. We’re gonna put ourselves out there and keep doing the work, because we believe our families must be invested in, and we want our communities to be invested in. 

Vargas: I grew up in Logan Square, and in high school I had the privilege to see Carlos Ramirez-Rosa govern at a very young age himself. I saw how one young person can create a whole progressive movement in the northwest side and on the City Council. I’m very inspired by that. I was recruited to run by Carlos. I’m glad I’m running, because I feel this is a moment in time where the people are taking over Chicago. We’re here, we’re present, and we’re taking over Chicago.

Tamez: When we look at the people who are most affected by police brutality or police violence, it’s mainly youth. It’s the younger generation. It’s Black, Brown, and Indigenous people. You know, I graduated from Von Steuben in 2018. My school had little-to-no police presence when we would get released at the end of the day. But Roosevelt, which was a few blocks away from my school, was lined with police officers. They would have kids up against the building, sitting on the sidewalk, up against the police cars. And it was very telling to me, just how the police treat children who go to a different school.

Saul Arellano (left) and Ashley Vargas Credit: Jim Daley

What unique perspectives can people younger than 25 bring to the Police District Councils?

Vargas: I think that we bring passion. I’m a product of the Chicago Public Schools. High school was tough for me. We had cops in the schools; I would see my friends, 14-year-old boys, be tackled by cops, 40-year-old men, just because they smelled like weed or had red eyes. That’s not the solution, fighting 14-year-old kids with violence. Through ECPS we can fight institutional racism, and hence internalized racism. Every single day, a young Black kid, a young Mexican kid walks through those [school] doors, they’re taking off their shoes, taking off their backpack [to be searched], and it’s all very militarized. It feels like we’re being attacked, and every single day we’re internalizing this and normalizing this behavior towards us.

So, I would love to see cops out of schools, and instead of investing in police to be in schools, we need to be taking care of our kids. We need to invest in counselors and librarians and nurses and different programs, just not the police, because that’s not the answer. 

Arellano: And from a young age, Black and Brown children have been criminalized. From the beginning, if they make a mistake, they’re penalized so harshly. And their white counterparts don’t receive such punishment. We just want to be treated fairly, and we just want to be treated like we’re humans, and we deserve a second chance. 

Guerrero: I’ve said time and time again, there’s gotta be someone young in this position. When they announced the candidates in the 12th Police District, I didn’t see no one young running. When [candidates] claimed they were doing the work and supporting young people, I was like “Hm, I’ve never seen you guys. I’ve never seen you guys at all here.” So, it’s about putting the work in before you take a position. Personally, I’m tired of all these elected officials and their false promises. I think this position can serve accountability. And we bring so much energy and passion to this. Not only that, we’re not corrupt. I think the older generations can value and see that, and be like, “You know what? Let’s give these kids a chance.”

Tamez: We need to stop criminalizing youth. We need to bring them to the table and make sure they’re able to talk about their experiences. When you’re going to a school that is in a police state constantly, you’re going to feel a type of way, and maybe even feel scorned. I don’t think that’s how we should treat our youth. We should make sure that our schools are safe spaces. That is why we need youth in district councils, but youth in government as well. We see a generation coming up and leading movements, and we see them coming into their positions, and we need to make sure we’re supporting them.

In the February 28 municipal election, more than 100 candidates are running for the city’s newly created Police District Councils (PDCs). The councils were created by the 2021 Empowering Communities for Public Safety (ECPS) ordinance, which came after decades of organizing, and are the first time Chicago will have elected civilian oversight of the police. Each of Chicago’s 22 Police Districts will have a three-member PDC, and the ordinance also created a citywide Community Commission for Public Safety Administration (CCPSA).

The candidates in these races have varying backgrounds. More than half of the candidates worked with the ECPS coalition that pushed to get the ordinance passed, and support greater accountability for police. Many of them are survivors of police brutality or have family members who were brutalized or killed by police. About a dozen candidates are ex-cops or are backed by the Fraternal Order of Police (FOP), which spent at least $25,000 on the race. 

Most of the candidates are middle-aged or older. A few, however, are younger than 25. On February 1, the Reader interviewed four of the youngest candidates at the 25th Ward IPO office in Pilsen. William “The Kid” Guerrero, a candidate in the 12th District, is 21 years old. Fourteenth District candidate Ashley Vargas is 23, as is Anthony Michael Tamez, who is running in the 17th. Saul Arellano is a 24-year-old candidate in the 25th District.

All four agreed that policing disproportionately impacts youth, and Black and Brown youth in particular. They pointed to the city’s gang database, the prevalence of police in public schools, particularly in schools that predominantly serve Black and Brown neighborhoods, and the curfew Mayor Lori Lightfoot imposed on Millenium Park as examples. All four also discussed the importance of having youth in public office and the perspectives they can bring that older candidates may not be able to. 

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Daley: Why is it important to have youth representation on the PDCs and in government generally?

Guerrero: There’s a lack of representation in government, and we barely see young people have a say. Oftentimes we’re limited: we don’t know where the table is at, or if we do, we have to demand to be at the table. The PDC position is unique. It’s a great start to our political careers, and a way to understand how we can hold the police and public servants and elected officials accountable. We’re making sure the young people have a say in what public safety should look like. 

Arellano: We’ve done a lot of public service. For many years, we’ve worked with organizations fighting for immigration rights, for housing rights, for affordable housing and for different things. Our movement right now, what we’re doing in the 25th District, is a youth-led movement. There were three of us who said we needed to do something, and I was the one who was like, “I need to run.” I’ve worked at the Boys and Girls Club, and I’ve learned how to love kids and how successful they can become, but they need mentorship and guidance, they need programs that are going to be there to help them. When you truly invest in those kids, they will be successful. And that’s why I decided to run. 

We always get told the youth are the future. Well, we’re telling people “we are the now, we are here, and it’s time for us.” Our time is now. We’re gonna put ourselves out there and keep doing the work, because we believe our families must be invested in, and we want our communities to be invested in. 

Vargas: I grew up in Logan Square, and in high school I had the privilege to see Carlos Ramirez-Rosa govern at a very young age himself. I saw how one young person can create a whole progressive movement in the northwest side and on the City Council. I’m very inspired by that. I was recruited to run by Carlos. I’m glad I’m running, because I feel this is a moment in time where the people are taking over Chicago. We’re here, we’re present, and we’re taking over Chicago.

Tamez: When we look at the people who are most affected by police brutality or police violence, it’s mainly youth. It’s the younger generation. It’s Black, Brown, and Indigenous people. You know, I graduated from Von Steuben in 2018. My school had little-to-no police presence when we would get released at the end of the day. But Roosevelt, which was a few blocks away from my school, was lined with police officers. They would have kids up against the building, sitting on the sidewalk, up against the police cars. And it was very telling to me, just how the police treat children who go to a different school.

Saul Arellano (left) and Ashley Vargas Credit: Jim Daley

What do you hope to accomplish on the PDCs, both in your home districts and in the way you interact with the Community Commission on Public Safety and Accountability (CCPSA)?

Guerrero: Youth-led public safety meetings. There’s safety meetings being held by elected officials, but I very rarely see young individuals in the room. When I speak to young people, they’re like, “At the end of the day, they don’t listen.” We see the same things happening over and over again, the same corruption. No mayoral candidate has said anything in the forums about the ECPS position and how we can use that to help police transparency and accountability. 

I want a youth-led coalition in the city of Chicago when it comes to public safety, holding the police accountable, and making sure that our voices are at the table. We’re just four people, but imagine if we could put more seats at the table because of one young elected official. I’m not afraid to call people out. I value transparency, I value respect and trust. Because at the end of the day, that’s what gives you peace of mind. 

Vargas: Most definitely I’m running to change some laws to make some permanent change, and to inspire the youth to run for office. We need more people to have that power in our hands, and not rely on corrupt individuals with family dynasties that go way back. We need new fresh faces who are homegrown, who come from the Chicago streets. We’ve got the people power, and it’s just about organizing and educating. 

Of course I will collect data with my constituents, organize those meetings, and help them visualize a world where we don’t invest in police, but invest in community care, community-centered organizations, things that stem from the love of the community. Community heals what the police create. The police create trauma. We’ve got to get rid of that trauma, stop investing in that trauma. 

Arellano: I second everything they’ve said. We need to look at what those alternatives are. For many kids, whether it’s a boxing club or something different, they need places where they can feel safe and secure. We need to reimagine: what does that look like? So we can ensure that our youth are finding different ways that they can feel heard and feel like they’re releasing all that trauma. And additionally, we need to change certain laws. We will do that alongside people like Carlos Ramirez-Rosa, Byron Sigcho-Lopez, and Rosanna Rodriguez, because they’re pushing for Treatment Not Trauma, and we want to reopen the mental health clinics. 

I want to be making sure that we’re also being advocates and working together to create laws and maybe fortify the ECPS ordinance so it becomes stronger, because we understand that it was watered down by [Mayor Lori] Lightfoot. We want to make sure now that we’re pushing them and making our power stronger, because we know we can create so much change. And we know the FOP wants to get their hands on this, because they want to make sure that the people are not [on the PDCs]. In the 25th District, Jacob Arena, Angelica Green, and myself are fighting against an FOP candidate [Perry Abbasi] and another candidate [Edgar Esparza] who does not have the people’s perspective. That’s why we took a stand, because we’re ready. 

Tamez: Myself, having worked in two alderpersons’ offices, I’ve come to the realization that there are people who have inherent access to government, who know how to utilize an alderperson’s office, who know where and when to call when their garbage cans are broken, or there’s too many rats in the street, or a street light is out. We know that those aren’t our communities, that those aren’t Black, Brown, and Indigenous people, we know that those aren’t youth. 

And so one thing I hope to accomplish is to actively seek out those people, and bring them to the table and bring them to meetings. Do I think that that’s going to be very hard? Yes. And I think that’s going to be hard because they don’t trust government. They don’t trust the city of Chicago. And rightfully so. Why would you trust a city that actively criminalizes you, that is actively defunding your schools, that is not actively funding after school programs?

Beyond that, I think that investing in and focusing on our youth — I’ve seen the power of what youth councils can do. I have a large number of schools in my district, and so making sure I’m connecting with those schools and having a representative from each one of those schools to give feedback to the district council, so we’re able to pass it to the CCPSA. One thing all the district councils can do is make sure we have a very strong citywide commission. 

The PDCs are a reform. How do you see the district councils fitting into the larger goal of liberation, and if you support it, the movement towards police abolition? 

Tamez: We can look at the most recent conversation around the gang database. The police turned what was a general order on the gang database into a special order [because] the PDCs and the CCPSA have no control over [special orders]. So they essentially just skirted accountability. We need to make sure they’re not able to do that. There is no point in having these district councils or the CCPSA if every time we try to hold them accountable, they’re just going to sidestep us and find a loophole or a way around it.

I come from a family of abolitionists. We’re a Native family in the city of Chicago, so we can dream of and we know of a time when our communities didn’t have any police. When we look at the history of the Chicago police, one of the very first people the Chicago police killed were a group of natives. And so for me, it’s very important to look at the history of how things started and where they’ve come to today. It’s not a coincidence that we had the Indian Removal Act signed [in 1825] and then the Chicago Police Department was created [Editor’s note: Constable Archibald Clybourn became the first law enforcement officer in the Chicago area in the 1820s]. So our police department was founded on the forced removal of Native people. How can you fix a system that is inherently racist and anti-native? 

We need to focus on community-based, evidence-based solutions that are going to keep our community safe. And that’s funding schools, funding after school programs, summer jobs for youth, that’s investing in our city’s mental health crisis. And then we can have a safer city. 

Arellano: And the thing is, we have not invested in people. It’s close to $2 billion that is going to the police, and the only thing they can say is that the city’s gotten more violent. So we need to be able to take that leap to fund our communities, because we know that is the solution. We need to trust it, and we need to work as a community to push toward it. 

Obviously, using the words “defund” and “abolition,” people get scared. But the world that we can see with defunding and getting to abolition will be very beautiful. What we have right now is horrible, and it’s destroying our youth. Our youth have been criminalized forever. And so that is why we took our opportunity. It’s time for us to be listened to, and that’s why we’re here. Don’t get caught up on the defunding or abolition. The main idea we’re trying to bring is that we want to invest in our communities, we want to invest in people. That world will be a lot more beautiful. 

Vargas: A step towards abolition is definitely reallocating the City budget. Investing in community healing will strengthen our families and our people. We just see that people are ready for a change. People know that cops don’t need a new car every year, or machine guns. It’s just about organizing and voting people in who won’t give more money to the cops. And we have a lot of work to do, but it’s starting with ECPS. Our task is to help people visualize a future without police. 

Guerrero: There’s different definitions of public safety right now. It’s a tug of war. I think that obviously, the first step is meeting in the middle ground, because we’re not gonna be able to abolish the CPD tomorrow. I wish CPD never existed. But it’s about finding a middle ground and working with any and all definitions of public safety, and just making sure that slowly and surely we reeducate those who think CPD is the answer to safety, that it’s not. It’s reinvesting in communities, reinvesting in our youth, and making sure they have the proper education when it comes to different ways to safety, and CPD is not the main one. They haven’t provided a sense of safety in my lifetime, 21 years. How many cases have CPD solved in the last 50 years?

When someone gets shot, we have to wait 20, 30 minutes. Where’s the response time? So we need to be making sure we have violence interrupters, peacekeepers in the community, and making sure they’re EMS-trained and know how to use a tourniquet. Imagine if we all have EMS certificates, we’d be the first line of defense. We’re already there in the community.   

I think ECPS is a great first step toward abolishing the CPD. We got to put a good, concrete understanding of that definition because people get scared, like, “abolishing, are you going to take away my safety?” No, we’re creating a different safety.  

What’s one of the most important things voters should know about this election?

Arellano: I have never been this excited, because there are 15 aldermanic seats up for grabs, and that is historic. Most of them have been corrupt people who were part of the machine. And now, this is the time where people have to be excited. I understand that they’re tired of the corruption. But today, we can make history, and we can definitely make our city progressive, and our city can truly make real change.  

I encourage everyone to come out to vote. This election is really going to determine a lot of things and the direction we’re heading. We want to elect all the alderpersons who are going to fight for ECPS and who are going to be here with us. 

Vargas: The first few years for this position are for community control of police. So hopefully we’ll build a strong sense of community who won’t take that long to create a more permanent change. I’m hopeful.

Guerrero: This next generation of voters, I hope they do the research. I hope people don’t vote based on identity politics, and vote for the person who is really for the community. In the last election, I think the majority of voters voted on identity politics, and look where it got us. This new generation of voters is going to save us. And if the FOP takes over this election, we just gave up the biggest opportunity for transparency and accountability. 

Tamez: I’m also really excited, and I hope the younger generation is too. One thing I’ve seen while knocking on doors is that people don’t really know what this [PDC] position is. And that’s a little concerning. But it’s also very exciting to be able to tell my neighbors about this new position and that I’m one of the people running for it. 

I think at the end of the day, the CCPSA and our district councils are only going to be as strong as our community and neighbors make them. And so we need to make sure that we’re bringing everyone to the table when we’re having our monthly meetings. I hope that having young people on the ballot excites other young people, but I hope it excites the older generation as well. The younger generation and elders are two groups that aren’t listened to. I think we come from the same place where we just want to be heard, and we just want our ideas to be implemented and addressed. And I hope people can see that we’re coming to the table open to talking with everyone to figure out what safety means for all of us.

Read More

How about a hot sex tip for Valentine’s Day? In one word, lingerie. The gift that keeps on giving, to both the giftee and possibly (hopefully!) the gifter. It might seem obvious, but it’s so true: the right pieces of intimate apparel can boost one’s self-confidence and one’s sense of play—which can make you very sexy.

Local designer Romance Anastasa, 34, is well aware of that power and has created and sold quality intimate apparel since 2015. She founded her company Queendom by Romance “after noticing that the local area was an ‘undergarment dry zone,’” as she writes on the brand’s website. 

Born and raised in Bronzeville, Anastasa says she has found her calling. “From a young age, I always knew that I wanted to be an entrepreneur—it was in my blood! My great-grandmother owned taverns in the neighborhood,” Anastasa tells me. “I always wanted to be a boss like her but hadn’t quite found my passion yet.” 

Romance Anastasa models her own collection (satin and mesh bustier set, $64.99). Credit: Courtesy of Queendom by Romance

Since her own first name wasn’t yet enough of a hint, Anastasa stumbled on her dream career while working her way through school at Macy’s, where she started as a sales associate in the lingerie department and was shortly promoted to lingerie specialist.

“At that time I began planning to open my own lingerie store one day. After working as a nurse and health care sales executive for over five years, I took the leap and successfully opened the first brick-and-mortar location in Bronzeville on 47th Street . . . We offered free bra sizing regardless of purchase upon first opening, and I had the pleasure of sizing a lot of the women in my community. It was through these intimate moments that my customers began to tell me about the other types of products they wanted to buy, so I began to make them. What makes Queendom by Romance so special is because it was all truly born out of love,” she says. 

But love is not all lace and roses. Anastasa admits that becoming an entrepreneur has been a “wild roller coaster ride.” “I have lost it all and rebuilt at least twice,” she reflects. “But I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. Every single moment has prepared me for the future, and I wouldn’t change a thing,” she says. 

What happened during COVID illustrates Anastasa’s point. “I had built my success around foot traffic and community engagement. When the pandemic hit, I was forced to close my doors and pivot to e-commerce. It was extremely hard for me, but pivoting to e-commerce helped me develop myself more as a designer because it allowed me to really focus on my passion. It also allowed me the time to become a designer-in-residence with the Chicago Fashion Incubator,” she reflects. Anastasa keeps the organization in high regard: “I have been with CFI for a little over a year now and will probably be with them until they kick me out! My experience with CFI has been invaluable,” she says.

Though there’s always so much to learn, Anastasa has an innate talent for design and selects incredibly sexy lingerie for an extended range of sizes for her shop. Her small yet well-curated collection features lots of color and fun details, oftentimes in pieces that don’t need to be an exact size to fit (wink, wink, gift size problem averted) but still wear comfortably. Special mentions to the lingerie set Rose & Thorn ($42.99), which comes in a “queen” size option and to the Janet babydoll and G-string set ($41). Both sets could work beautifully for any body type.

Model wears the Rose & Thorn lingerie set ($42.99). Credit: Courtesy of Queendom by Romance

With two size options (S/M or M/L) and ribbons that can create multiple combinations, the hot pink Farah lingerie set ($39.99) is also a lovely choice. Besides lingerie sets, Queendom by Romance offers bustiers, bras, bralettes, and a few accessories, such as the must-have mesh Onyx Opera gloves ($24.99). 

Though her line is very affordable (prices start around $29.99 for lingerie items), Anastasa says that quality really matters to her. “It is very important for me that Queendom creates a safe place and community for those that not only love quality things but also have a love for every single inch of themselves,” she says. With the added benefit of this being a Black-owned and local business—what’s not to love?

Queendom by Romancequeendombyromance.com; queendombyromance at Instagram 

Read More

How about a hot sex tip for Valentine’s Day? In one word, lingerie. The gift that keeps on giving, to both the giftee and possibly (hopefully!) the gifter. It might seem obvious, but it’s so true: the right pieces of intimate apparel can boost one’s self-confidence and one’s sense of play—which can make you very sexy.

Local designer Romance Anastasa, 34, is well aware of that power and has created and sold quality intimate apparel since 2015. She founded her company Queendom by Romance “after noticing that the local area was an ‘undergarment dry zone,’” as she writes on the brand’s website. 

Born and raised in Bronzeville, Anastasa says she has found her calling. “From a young age, I always knew that I wanted to be an entrepreneur—it was in my blood! My great-grandmother owned taverns in the neighborhood,” Anastasa tells me. “I always wanted to be a boss like her but hadn’t quite found my passion yet.” 

Romance Anastasa models her own collection (satin and mesh bustier set, $64.99). Credit: Courtesy of Queendom by Romance

Since her own first name wasn’t yet enough of a hint, Anastasa stumbled on her dream career while working her way through school at Macy’s, where she started as a sales associate in the lingerie department and was shortly promoted to lingerie specialist.

“At that time I began planning to open my own lingerie store one day. After working as a nurse and health care sales executive for over five years, I took the leap and successfully opened the first brick-and-mortar location in Bronzeville on 47th Street . . . We offered free bra sizing regardless of purchase upon first opening, and I had the pleasure of sizing a lot of the women in my community. It was through these intimate moments that my customers began to tell me about the other types of products they wanted to buy, so I began to make them. What makes Queendom by Romance so special is because it was all truly born out of love,” she says. 

But love is not all lace and roses. Anastasa admits that becoming an entrepreneur has been a “wild roller coaster ride.” “I have lost it all and rebuilt at least twice,” she reflects. “But I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. Every single moment has prepared me for the future, and I wouldn’t change a thing,” she says. 

What happened during COVID illustrates Anastasa’s point. “I had built my success around foot traffic and community engagement. When the pandemic hit, I was forced to close my doors and pivot to e-commerce. It was extremely hard for me, but pivoting to e-commerce helped me develop myself more as a designer because it allowed me to really focus on my passion. It also allowed me the time to become a designer-in-residence with the Chicago Fashion Incubator,” she reflects. Anastasa keeps the organization in high regard: “I have been with CFI for a little over a year now and will probably be with them until they kick me out! My experience with CFI has been invaluable,” she says.

Though there’s always so much to learn, Anastasa has an innate talent for design and selects incredibly sexy lingerie for an extended range of sizes for her shop. Her small yet well-curated collection features lots of color and fun details, oftentimes in pieces that don’t need to be an exact size to fit (wink, wink, gift size problem averted) but still wear comfortably. Special mentions to the lingerie set Rose & Thorn ($42.99), which comes in a “queen” size option and to the Janet babydoll and G-string set ($41). Both sets could work beautifully for any body type.

Model wears the Rose & Thorn lingerie set ($42.99). Credit: Courtesy of Queendom by Romance

With two size options (S/M or M/L) and ribbons that can create multiple combinations, the hot pink Farah lingerie set ($39.99) is also a lovely choice. Besides lingerie sets, Queendom by Romance offers bustiers, bras, bralettes, and a few accessories, such as the must-have mesh Onyx Opera gloves ($24.99). 

Though her line is very affordable (prices start around $29.99 for lingerie items), Anastasa says that quality really matters to her. “It is very important for me that Queendom creates a safe place and community for those that not only love quality things but also have a love for every single inch of themselves,” she says. With the added benefit of this being a Black-owned and local business—what’s not to love?

Queendom by Romancequeendombyromance.com; queendombyromance at Instagram 

Read More