Concerts

You may or may not be aware that Craigslist closed its Personals section after the passage of SESTA in 2018. 

Contrary to lawmakers’ assumptions, people used Craigslist for totally legitimate reasons, including meeting people in their area, whether for friendship, casual hookups, or dating. 

Now that Craigslist Personals are no more, you may find yourself looking for alternatives in 2023. Well, look no further, as we’re about to share twenty of the best Craigslist Personals alternative websites so you can still meet people in your area online. 

There’s quite a large variety here, so you’ll want to be sure to read through to find out which site or app may be the best choice for you. Also, you should be aware that some of these pages may have similar issues to the ones that plagued Craigslist (and ended up getting them taken down). So, please take into account the following disclaimer.

While most of these sites are perfectly legitimate, there are a few that may have scams and/or ads for illegal activities. In general, you should always exercise extreme caution. Remember to meet in a public place and always trust your gut.

That said, many of these sites can be a perfectly safe and easy way to meet people, so let’s get right into it!

1.) Reddit Personals

You’ve probably heard of Reddit. If not, it’s one of the largest communities online where people can post about anything and everything on what’s known as “subreddits.” One popular subreddit, which can serve as a Craigslist alternative, is r/r4r. Known as “Reddit Personals,” the subheading is “Activity Partners, Groups, Dating, Hanging Out, Soulmates, FWBs.” So, you can simply make your own ad here, let people know about yourself and what you’re looking for, and see if you get any kind of response. As Reddit is free, it’s pretty much a no-lose option. 

2.) Adult Friend Finder 

When it comes to Craigslist Personals alternatives for casual hookups, Adult Friend Finder is definitely a top choice. Self-billed as “The World’s Largest Sex Dating Site & Swinger Community,” this might very well be true as they have more than 100 million people with accounts. Similar to Ashley Madison, there’s a limited free option as well as paid tiers. With a paid subscription you can get access to features such as “Stories,” which gives you a chance to discuss your ideal dating life so that other people can easily see if you might be a match based on your goals or general vibes. 

Want more info about Adult Friend Finder? Check out our full review.

3.) Ashley Madison

It’s highly likely you’ve seen ads for Ashley Madison at some point, at least if you frequent *ahem* certain websites. That’s because Ashley Madison is bold about its purpose, as evidenced by its motto: “Life is short. Have an affair.” In essence, this is a site for connecting adults who are after casual hookups in a discreet fashion. For example, if you’re a paying subscriber, your credit card bill will simply read “Online services.” If you’re intent on taking advantage of all the features offered on the site, then you may want to be subscribe. There’s a handy feature, for example, called “Traveling Man” that lets you reach out to people from an area you’ll be visiting before you actually get there.

Need some more info about Ashley Madison before making a decision? Check out our full review here.

4.) Locanto

Locanto is very similar to Oodle and many other Craigslist lookalikes. For example, you have a category called “Casual Encounters” with a number of subcategories. There, you can post a personal ad to let people know what it is exactly that you’re hoping to find. As with Oodle, it appears to be mainly men posting in my area, with some of the female postings looking fairly suspicious. Be sure to use your best judgment, and Locanto could end up being a decent option for you to meet people. 

5.) Tinder 

Tinder likely doesn’t need a whole lot of introduction, as it’s become one of the most popular “dating” apps around. I put dating in scare quotes because, let’s face it, pretty much everyone knows Tinder’s reputation as an app for casual flings rather than serious dating. Not that that can’t happen, of course. Super popular with millennials and gen Z’ers in particular, Tinder is a fairly simple app. You see profiles of people in your area, then you swipe right if you’re interested or left if you aren’t. Then you’ll get matched up with people who you swiped right on who also swiped right on you. From there, you can start messaging and see what happens. There’s a basic free version as well as a paid tier called Tinder Gold that gives you extra features and unlimited swiping. 

6.) Kasual (fka Yumi)

Formerly known as Yumi, Kasual is a nice alternative to Craigslist and the other sites mentioned here because it has a pretty unique premise. Instead of being matched up with other people by swiping or algorithms, Kasual connects you with other people randomly and you can just start chatting right away to see if you might be a fit. Available for iOS (iPhone) and Android, the app comes with a free version that’s pretty complete as is. You can always go for the Premium membership, of course, if you want to unlock more features. All in all, Kasual is kind of a cool alternative compared to Tinder and other dating sites because it’s primarily focused on casual hookups (hence the rebrand) and pairing people randomly. 

7.) Plenty of Fish 

POF, or Plenty of Fish, is a reference to the classic idea that there are “plenty of fish in the sea”—put differently, don’t worry about being single or getting broken up with because there are tons of other people out there to meet. POF works as both a website or app, which is nice as some of these are only available as one or the other. As a dating site, it’s pretty typical in that you get matched up based on shared interests. You can also use a video-date feature, which is a nice way to get a feel for someone before you take the plunge with an in-person date. 

8.) Pernals

Logo

This is a great Craigslist substitute because it’s all about personal ads. Pernals gives you the opportunity to create your own personal ad for free. This means you can put exactly what you’re looking for, whether that’s a serious relationship, casual hookup, even a friend, etc. Pernals advertises itself as a Craigslist alternative, which is relatively uncommon among many of these alternatives reviewed here. Just like Craigslist you have the same types of categories: women seeking women, women seeking men, men seeking women, etc. As of now it’s only available as an app, and you can download it for both iOS or Android. 

9.) Bedpage

Bedpage, as you might guess from the name, is more of a direct Backpage alternative. That said, it also has the same types of categories as Craigslist Personals had: women seeking women, men seeking women, etc. For casual encounters, you’ll want to check out the “Dating” and “Adult” categories. Just be careful, though, because a quick browse in my area revealed some people posting who are definitely scammers. 

10.) Doublelist

Doublelist is quite similar to Craigslist. One thing that’s a little frustrating is that you have to sign up to browse the site. Their motto is “Connect with straight, gay, bi and curious,” so it isn’t super hard to figure out what most people using this site are looking for. With more than three million users in the U.S., though, there’s a solid chance you might just find someone who’s a good match for you. As always, take care to watch out for scammers. 

11.) Oodle

Oodle is in many ways very close to Craigslist’s old personals page, with the usual categories like “Men Seeking Men,” “Men Seeking Women,” etc. You can use some handy filters on this site, which can help you easily narrow your options down. At least in my area there don’t appear to be a ton of people using Oodle, so it might not be your best bet. Depending on what you’re into, there were more men posting than women, so it might be worth your time or it might not be. 

12.) Ebackpage

Once again, Ebackpage is a clear Backpage/Craigslist copy. You can post and browse personal ads, with all the usual categories under “Dating” and “Adult” for people who are interested in casual encounters. The site doesn’t seem to have a large body of active users, however, so this might not be one of your best options. As with Bedpage and some of these other sites, you’ll need to be careful as there are some scammy looking postings on it. 

13.) Classified Ads

Classified Ads is, well, exactly what it sounds like. This is a solid Craigslist alternative because it’s super similar. Simply select “Personals” on the front page and you’ll see the classic categories: “Men Seeking Women,” “Missed Connections,” etc. There’s not a whole lot to tell you about this site—it’s quite straightforward and either you’ll find some options in your area or you won’t. 

14.) Grindr

Grindr is basically Tinder but specifically for gay men. In other words, there’s a focus primarily on hookups, but that doesn’t mean that that’s the only possibility. If you’re a gay man after casual encounters, this might very well be the only app or site that you need. If you’re not a gay man, however, Grindr won’t be of much use to you. 

15.) HealthyFling

HealthyFling, like Ashley Madison, emphasizes discretion. As you can see on their website, their tagline is “Discreet Hook-Ups.” Like many of these sites, you have the option to post a personal ad so that you can get yourself out there and see if other people respond. You can also browse and see if anyone appeals to you. Unfortunately, you have to sign up in order to browse or post an ad. All in all, this is a decent option and has some positive reviews going for it online. 

16.) OkCupid

OkCupid has been around for ages and it’s survived until today, so it must be doing something right. You can download it for iOS or Android, which is always nice. Another solid aspect of OkCupid is that it doesn’t require a paid membership in order to look for matches or message people. That said, like most dating sites nowadays, you may be tempted to pay in order to unlock certain features. Another plus is that OkCupid tries to be as inclusive as possible, meaning there’s pretty much something for everyone on there. 

17.) FetLife Classifieds

With over 10 million members, FetLife might very well be the biggest social network out there for kinky people. This is a nice draw as many people may feel insecure or ostracized by their kinks. Well, you can pretty much count on finding at least one other person who shares your interests on FetLife, which works as solid Craigslist ad if you want to find your freaky soulmate. 

18.) Kijiji

If you’re in Canada, you likely already know about Kijiji. It’s a platform where you can find just about anything, from pets and cars to services and vacation rentals. That said, it also works as a Craigslist alternative if you go to their “Community” section. There, you can check categories like “Friendship & Networking” and “Missed Connections” to post an ad or see if there are any there. That said, it doesn’t appear that these categories are nearly as active as others, so it might not be your best bet. 

19.) Alt.com

Alt.com is similar to FetLife in that it’s a site specifically for people who are into BDSM and kinks/fetishes. That said, its site has a kind of old-school vibe to it, and not in a good way. It looks rather clunky and the kind of thing you would see advertised on a porn site rather than the more elegant looking FetLife. It also looks like they take random fake profiles and put your city’s name underneath them on the home page in order to entice you (much like porn site ads often do). So, while you’re free to explore Alt, I would try FetLife first if you’re looking for people to get kinky with. 

20.) Craigslist

Wait, what? Didn’t Craigslist ban the Personals section? Yes. Nonetheless, people are always adept at bending the rules and finding workarounds. So, although there’s no “Personals” section per se, you can still find people posting in order to meet up on Craigslist. For example, you can try the “Activities” section or the “Missed Connections” section in your area and you might very well see postings by people looking to meet up for casual encounters. 

Final Thoughts 

Although Craigslist Personals were banned, luckily there are plenty of alternatives available. That said, there’s a lot of variety to these options (as you can tell if you read all the reviews above). So, ultimately, whatever you end up choosing to use will depend on what you’re looking for, where you are, etc.

For the most part, if you’re in the U.S. you may want to stick with one of the major dating or hookup apps—Tinder, Adult Friend Finder, AshleyMadison, etc. If you’re in Canada, then you can try Kijiji, but it doesn’t necessarily have a lot going for it as a casual hookup site. 

The main thing is that you use good judgment and stay safe. A lot of Craigslist alternatives are loaded with scammers looking to take advantage of lonely people. It’s sad, yes, but true. Remember to follow basic common sense and never send anyone personal information or money before you’ve actually met them and verified that everything is legitimate. If you’re ever in doubt, you should probably recognize that and listen to your gut!

Ultimately, there are still plenty of ways for people to meet other people online via social media and the above sites. So long as you’re careful, there’s plenty of fun to be had. 

Read More

Sugar daddy sites have risen in popularity over the last several years as society becomes more comfortable with unconventional relationships. As more people seek either companionship or financial security, sugar arrangements have become very attractive.

Unfortunately, the popularity of sugar relationships has caused an influx of sugar dating sites to pop up. Some sites do their part in vetting the members, but others invite scammers, leeches, flakes, and fakes.

We’ve done the leg work for you and have found the best sugar daddy sites where a sugar daddy can meet a sugar baby and vice versa. These sites strike the delicate balance between safety and fun. We review what’s best about a site for daddies and what’s best for babies.

These are our brand new rankings for 2023.

The Best Sugar Daddy Sites and Apps in 2023

RankSiteBest For1.SugarDaddy.comBest overall sugar daddy site2.Secret BenefitsBest mix of daddies and babies3.Our SecretBest for confidentiality4.SugarDaddyMeetVerified income feature5.SugarDaddyForMeQuickest way to find an arrangement6.Ashley MadisonJudgement free sugar dating site7.What’s Your PriceBest for women to set their own price8.Sugar SearchBest database of local sugar daddies9.R/SugarBabyFree way to find sugar babies10.Elite SinglesMeet intellectual sugar babies and daddies11.Established MenBest for daddies seeking a long term arrangement12.RichMeetBeautifulMost secure and discreet site13.Miss TravelBest for sugar babies who like to travel14.Wealthy MenMost straightforward sugar dating site15.AgeMatchFind younger women16.SudyBest sugar dating app17.SugarBookBest sugar app for babies

We’ll do a deep dive on our top 5 sites and shorter reviews for the rest.

1. SugarDaddy.com – Best overall site

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Reply rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

The name says it all. SugarDaddy.com is one of the original and premier sugar daddy sites. It verifies all members, daddies and babies alike. There are nearly 10 million current members and counting with thousands of people online at any given time. The best part? Nearly 2/3rds are babies looking for that special daddy to take care of them.

Free members can actually enjoy tons of features (like sending kisses, using the advanced search feature, and responding to paying members), but a membership is well worth it and pretty affordable compared to its competitors. It’s a credit-based system and costs around a quarter per credit. Privacy is a top priority on Sugardaddy.com, making it easy to discreetly enter into relationships.

What it’s like for daddies:

70% of the users on sugardaddy.com are babies looking to be spoiled. With millions of users, this makes being a daddy on the site extremely easy and entertaining. Credits can be used to get in touch with the babies and they won’t cost you much. Because privacy is taken so seriously on this website, there’s no need to fear your identity being revealed. Furthermore, daddies can rest easy knowing they won’t be scammed by any members given that they are all verified.

What it’s like for babies:

Sugar babies tend to love the ease of this site and how slick it is. Other sugar baby sites tend to look shady or seedy, but sugardaddy.com is slick and modern. It makes it easy to layout exactly what you’re looking for in a daddy. One drawback is the fact that most of the users are babies, so there’s some stiff competition out there. But with millions of daddies online searching, finding the right one shouldn’t be too difficult.

Membership TypePriceIntro$59.00 (100 credits)Elite$169.00 (500 credits)Best Value$289.00 (1,000 credits)

Check out our full SugarDaddy.com review for more information.

2.  Secret Benefits – Best gender ratio

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★Reply rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★★

SecretBenefits.com is one of the most popular and stylish sugar daddy dating websites. It has a modern and fresh look along with an easy-to-use interface which has encouraged millions of attractive and wealthy individuals to join and search for a positive sugar dating experience on the site. Due to its popularity and stellar reputation among the site’s members, there is a constant flow of new hopeful sugar daddies and sugar babies as well as a very active member base.

Anyone can signup, create a profile, and search for free. Sugar babies can enjoy the site and its features for free. If a sugar daddy finds a sugar baby of interest, they need to purchase credits to open a chat with them. There should be no lack of potential candidates among the millions of members as the gender ratio is about 50/50.

What it’s like for daddies:

Signing up as a sugar daddy is very fast and painless. You can also choose to start a very basic profile to search for potential sugar babies in your area before committing too much time or money. Another great feature if you’re looking for a discreet relationship is you can hide your profile at any time as well as go invisible for 24 hours and browse profiles in secret. These features help maintain your privacy while discreetly allowing you to find your perfect sugar baby.

What it’s like for babies:

Sugar babies love using Secret Benefits not only because it’s free, but also because the site’s outstanding support team keeps the riffraff out which provides a safe platform full of serious and active sugar daddies that are not looking to waste anyone’s time. Getting your profile verified via a short intro video also encourages daddies to reach out once they see that you are the real deal. The success rates for legit, happy, and ongoing sugar daddy relationships are extremely high on SecretBenefits.com, so it’s really just about getting signed up and putting yourself out there to find exactly the type of daddy you’re looking for.

Membership TypePriceIntro$59.00 (100 credits)Elite$169.00 (500 credits)Best Value$289.00 (1,000 credits)

3.  Our Secret – Best for confidential sugar dating

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Reply rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

Whether you are in a current relationship, a celebrity, or simply a private person that would rather not have your friends or colleagues discover you on a dating site, you might want to consider signing up to the most discreet site on our list, OurSecret.com. Although the site is fairly new, they’ve done a great job delivering exactly what private people are looking for in an effective dating site.

Our Secret has hundreds of thousands of members looking to find their ideal secret relationship with about 50% of its members in the US. The goal of the site is to streamline the online dating process by providing easy signup and profile creation, precise search filters, and an excellent private chat function that also allows members to share additional photos with each other.

There is a free feature, but the options are very limited. You can only browse profiles. If you’d like to communicate, you need to buy credits.

Our Secret, like the previous two sites, operates on a credit system. Each action you take costs a certain amount of credits. It’s not a rip-off, in fact it’s the same price as SugarDaddy.com and Secret Benefits. We suspect the similar packages mean the sites are operated by sister companies or one parent company, which is typical in the dating space.

What it’s like for daddies:

The discreet sugar daddy will enjoy many of the features that mainstream popular dating sites provide without all of the potential public overexposure. Sugar daddies have the option of creating a basic profile, searching for their potential new secret matches in an incognito mode, as well as hiding their photos in secret albums for choice matches eyes only. All daddies should be pleased to know that creating a profile and searching for matches is totally free. Only if you find someone of interest will you need to purchase credits in order to open a chat, which will remain open and unlimited once the chat is opened. There are no monthly fees so you can come and go as you please as well as hide your profile from sugar babies in search if you find someone you like and want to pursue.

What it’s like for babies:

OurSecret.com understands that many sugar babies are active university students and social media influencers and might not want to be broadcasting their dating profiles to the masses on frequented sites such as Tinder. With this need for privacy and discretion by their sugar baby members, Our Secret has made it easy to streamline the online dating process and help you find exactly the kind of sugar daddy relationship you’re looking for without all the fuss. Using all of the site’s features is totally free to sugar babies. Getting started and adding photos and videos of yourself is a cinch and can also be kept in a private album only available to those daddies that you give permission to, and with the majority of daddies on the site seeking a discreet arrangement, keeping your relationship on the down-low should never be an issue.

Membership TypePriceIntro$59.00 (100 credits)Elite$169.00 (500 credits)Best Value$289.00 (1,000 credits)

4.  SugarDaddyMeet – For rich men who can spoil

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Reply rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

SugarDaddyMeet, one of the original sugar dating sites, doesn’t sugarcoat its true intentions. According to the site, it’s only available to men who live in the 20 richest countries in the world. By attracting affluent men, it also attracts beautiful young women. Verifying income and wealth are two major features on SugarDaddyMeet, making it one of the best sugar dating sites for the ladies.

Like all the sites we review, the real way to experience this site is paying for an introductory membership. Once you do, it’s cheeky communication options, like winking and sparking (swiping), become available.

With more than 5 million members, SugarDaddyMeet is a wonderful option for babies and daddies who want to try something outside the SugarDaddy.com-Secret Benefits-Our Secret family of sites.

What it’s like for daddies:

For one, you’ll need to actually be rich to get approved for SugarDaddyMeet. Those who meet the requirements are introduced to a world of beautiful females. The platform itself feels like other social media sites that you may already be familiar with. It’s very casual and generally a breeze finding a mutually beneficial arrangement. Once a daddy pays, he can send gifts and video chat with babies.

What it’s like for the babies:

This site has plenty of features that make women feel safe using it. You can verify income and let the site know what you’re looking for in a sugar daddy. Using a handy algorithm, it’ll match you up based on your preferences. A free membership is all you’ll need!

Membership LengthPrice1 month$50.003 months$90.00 ($30/month)6 months$144.00 ($24/month)

5.  SugarDaddyForMe – Speedy matching process

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Reply rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

This chic site is slick in design and even better in matching capabilities. It doesn’t hide the fact that it’s a tried and true sugar daddy site designed for arrangements. This is made clear for both the women and the men who join SugarDaddyForMe.

What it’s like for daddies:

You should know first that the payment structure is unique. The membership tiers are based on how much time you want to buy rather than what you have access to. SugarDaddyForMe will want to verify your income, but there’s not much to it after that. You’re essentially brought into the SugarDaddyForMe world within minutes, making this platform one of the fastest ways to find a date.

What it’s like for babies:

This is a free sugar daddy site for you! Signing up takes only minutes and you’ll be glad to know that SugarDaddyForMe will want to know what your ideal arrangement would be. This can all be altered later if you change your mind.

Membership TypePriceBronze$39.95/monthSilver$54.90/monthGold$59.90/month

6.  Ashley Madison – Find a casual companion

Ashley Madison is the site that people hate admitting they love. Sure, it’s received some shady press over the years, but it works marvelously. Though linked to affairs, it’s a perfect site for those in open-relationships to find fun arrangements with other folks. It’s a completely open-minded and judgment-free space for people to explore sensual relationships.

What it’s like for daddies:

Ashley Madison can be used as a sugar site. It follows a credit-based payment structure that allows men to communicate with women. There’s nothing on Ashley Madison to weed out the sugar babies from the rest of them, so you’ll need to use the age preference feature to find the ladies and chat to see if they are interested. Women are free to join, making it a great breeding ground for relationships with younger college-age women.

What it’s like for babies:

Men on Ashley Madison are usually looking for excitement, and sugar babies know how to have fun. There are a lot of wealthy men looking for younger women on the site, so if you specify that you are looking to set up an arrangement, you’ll have no problem finding a handsome catch.

Want even more about Ashley Madison? Check out our full review.

7.  What’s Your Price – Bid on dates

On many sugar sites, the idea of an arrangement is implied but not always enforced. In other words, SDs don’t feel like spending or SBs ask for too much. On What’s Your Price, the intention is clear. It’s about an agreement or arrangement that works for both parties. What’s Your Price will set everyone up with their ideal situation so that the minutiae of finances don’t cloud the fun! And it was created by the established folks behind Seeking, so you know it’s legit.

What it’s like for daddies:

You will feel like you are shopping for gorgeous women through an online marketplace. We hate to boil it down to an online shopping experience, but that’s kind of how it works! You will be shown tons of ladies who have a price in mind. Then, you can bid on anyone you find attractive or worth your time. You can also send virtual gifts and make bids as low as $10. You don’t have to be “wealthy” to join.

What it’s like for the babies:

What’s Your Price puts you in total control, which is a nice alternative to the chaotic free-for-all approach that other sites have. The only negative to What’s Your Price is that there is a lot of competition. There are 3 million members and counting, which means that your ad is going to have to be competitive.

8.  Sugar Search – Check out “Members Currently Online” before chatting to avoid flakes

It’s just as it sounds. Sugar Search is an easy to use search engine to find a local sugar daddy.

Sugar Search only operates in a few cities. Sorry babies and daddies, if you’re not in NYC, Chicago, Los Angeles, Houston, Phoenix, San Antonio, or Philadelphia, this isn’t the site for you.

Sugar Search goes to admirable lengths to ensure all the accounts are legit. Some slip through the cracks, but the moderation team is pretty on top of it.

Best of all, the site has great customer service and makes it easy to cancel a membership if you’re over it.

What it’s like for daddies:

It’s a super simple sign up process for daddies. Fill in a few fields, verify some personal info, and you’re set. Sugar Search has a great daddy to baby ratio, so it shouldn’t be too hard to meet a baby. The chat feature is slick and easy to use. If you want your profile to appear toward the top of search results, opt for the Diamond Membership. It really does increase the amount and quality of matches.

What it’s like for the babies:

Babies, you won’t be disappointed. Sugar Search is the ultimate sugar daddy search tool if you’re in one of their cities. Sugar Search requires daddies to verify their personal information, so you won’t encounter too many fraudulent accounts. Do your own due diligence by chatting with a prospective daddy first. The sheer volume of options means you’ll likely connect with someone shortly after you sign up.

9.  Reddit (r/SugarBaby) – Top sugar forum

Reddit is a site that gets a ton of volume. As a general forum for a huge range of topics, people come to Reddit to get information about virtually anything you can think of. It works for sugaring, too, on the subreddits that are related to the subject. If you don’t already know, a subreddit is a specific message board. For the best sugar daddy action, visit the /r/SugarBaby board. We should also warn you that sexy photos flood the page!

What it’s like for daddies:

This subreddit has over 80K users, making it more intimate than most but still giving you a ton of options. The best part is that it’s one of the only free sugar daddy sites on this list. Men aren’t allowed to post, but you can browse through the photos and proposals of the women on the page.

What it’s like for the babies:

You can post on this forum photos and a description of your ideal relationship. If a guy sees you on the page and is interested in pursuing you, he will direct message you through the platform! To post, you will need to go through a verification process, but it’s not complicated.

10.  Elite Singles – Dating site for educated daddies and babies

Elite Singles was not designed specifically for sugaring. It’s a premium dating site that caters toward educated and successful individuals looking for someone who is like-minded. As a baby, you should be seeking something serious when you join Elite Singles. This site is made for real relationships, not a one-time hookup. A majority of the people on this site are college-educated, regardless of age, so that’s another thing to keep in mind.

What it’s like for daddies:

Elite Singles is ideal for the man (or woman) who is interested in meeting an intelligent, independent person to shower with affection or anything else. One of the best things about Elite Singles is that nobody is flakey. People are genuinely searching for their other half and they aren’t greedy for cash because they are successful themselves.

What it’s like for the babies:

This is an app best suited for the baby who isn’t just in this for the money. You don’t need to be wildly successful to get on Elite Singles, but you should have a semblance of independence and perhaps a college degree (or working towards one). This isn’t the quickest way to find a sugar daddy, but it is a place where you’ll meet successful people.

11.  Established Men – Great for long-term sugar dating

If you couldn’t gather from the name, Established Men is a dating site created for successful men looking for a relationship. Men who are established and wealthy often don’t find much time to date around. This site makes finding a partner very simple. It’s not a hookup site but rather a place that caters directly to wealthy guys who want a relationship. Though not exclusively for sugar relationships, women aren’t charged for a membership, making it feel like a free sugar daddy site for them.

What it’s like for daddies:

Established Men is not a free sugar dating site for men, but that shouldn’t be a problem if you are, in fact, established. Through the platform, you are able to send gifts and interact with the beautiful ladies that this website attracts. There are new members daily, so you’ll never run out of options!

What it’s like for babies:

Step into the world of Established Men. These are individuals who know their worth, so they might be tough to please. What’s nice about the site is that these guys aren’t expecting you to come to them with a set arrangement. They just want to spoil someone special with bags, shoes, and more.

12.  RichMeetBeautiful – Encrypted sugar daddy site

Contrary to popular belief, RichMeetBeautiful is not just for rich men. Anyone who is reasonably well off can still engage with beautiful men and women through the platform. It’s also one of the most secure sugar dating sites because it uses encryption security.

What it’s like for daddies:

RichMeetBeautiful claims to be rich in several ways: experience, romance, passion, style, and so on. It also explicitly says “no sugar dating” on the homepage. You’re probably asking yourself why it even made the list. It’s a site for successful individuals to meet one another through a scientific matchmaking algorithm. If you want to find a younger woman to spoil, you will absolutely be able to.

What it’s like for babies:

RichMeetsBeautiful is not explicitly for sugar dating. It is a site where you can converse with men who enjoy spoiling their significant others. It’s built for long-lasting relationships, so be prepared to meet people who want to find real love.

13.  Miss Travel – Best for the adventurous

Miss Travel puts an exciting spin on sugar dating. Rather than finding a companion locally, this site encourages people to find partners from places they’d love to travel to! It adds a whole new element to the fun of sugar dating, and women can join this site for free.

What it’s like for daddies:

SDs in open relationships or looking for fun outside of a relationship love to use this site while they travel for business. However, it’s also convenient for men who want foreign women to come to them. There are a ton of beautiful women who use Miss Travel because they are looking for an adventure with a well-to-do man.

What it’s like for babies:

Ever wanted to travel the world? This is one of the best ways to make that happen. The daddy you find will likely pay for the entire trip. There’s also an exciting “Create a Trip” feature that allows you to plan a wonderful vacation right there on the site.

14.  Wealthy Men – A no-frills approach to sugaring

Wealthy Men is the most straightforward sugar daddy website available to users, and it’s very reliable too. It promises young women that they will meet the wealthy man of their dreams. And, it has a guarantee for its paid members that they’ll find someone in three months. Members can rest assured that Wealthy Men will absolutely work for them.

What it’s like for daddies:

We’ll be honest: Wealthy Men does not make it that easy on the guys initially. You will have to prove that you make at least 85K by providing documentation stating so and comment on how much you’re willing to spend on a baby. While this is annoying, it maintains the integrity of the site.

What it’s like for babies:

This is one of the best sugar daddy sites out there. The financial aspect works in your favor. But you’ll want to pay for it, as the free version doesn’t allow for messaging.

15.  AgeMatch – Best for relationships with significant age gaps

AgeMatch doesn’t market itself as a sugar website. Instead of sugar daddies and young models, it pins itself as a dating platform for people with a very large age gap between them. This works for arrangements because most of the companionships on this site are between successful older men and stunning younger women.

What it’s like for daddies:

Some men don’t want arrangements and prefer the idea of spoiling someone who enjoys their company. For those types, AgeMatch is perfect. You will feel like you are on a real dating site and not a shady or seedy arrangement site, which is a nice alternative to the normal setup.

What it’s like for babies:

The expected age gap works in your favor, but the fact that sugaring is more implied than explicit does not. You won’t be asked about your preferred arrangement. However, there are plenty of wonderful successful older men at your disposal and you are welcome to present them with your terms.

16.  Sudy – A sugaring mobile app

Sudy is a fantastic app in terms of usability. It functions really well and is set up in such a way that makes it easy to meet someone new. There are some things about Sudy that aren’t perfect, which is why it’s at the bottom of our list, but it’s certainly a great option for someone who would rather use their phone than a desktop to find a date.

What it’s like for the daddies:

To join, you’ll need to make over 200K. Once you verify this, you will be introduced to the world of beautiful ladies (there’s a 4:1 male to female ratio). Gorgeous women like to know that you make enough to entertain them, so the verification works in your favor. Sources report having trouble deleting their profiles though, so that might be a turn-off for you.

What it’s like for babies:

There are more women than men, which means it’s competitive. But at the same time, Sudy is also very safe. The Sudy staff work tirelessly to moderate the platform and remove suspicious or fake profiles.

17.  SugarBook – Great for alternative arrangements

Sometimes arrangements aren’t all money-based. There are ambitious women (or guys) out there who desire connections, advice, opportunities, and financial help. Sources say that SugarBook is ideal for that type of relationship with a sugar mama or sugar daddy because each interaction begins by laying out expectations for one another.

What it’s like for daddies:

You will need to verify your income before getting accepted to SugarBook. This is technically a free sugar daddy site for men, but the premium option will show you many more profiles. We’ll admit that it’s limited on the free side.

What it’s like for babies:

You can join for free or pay for more features, that’s totally up to you. Try the free version first, though, because the features just include access to more daddies and a more specific search. You might find what you’re looking for on the free version alone. You’ll have a chance to create a profile where you can explain what you’re interested in.

How  To Be A Good Sugar Daddy

Don’t be stingy – If you want to be a sugar daddy, then you have to be prepared to give a little—okay, a lot—of “sugar.” In other words, you’re going to have to open up that wallet and be generous, giving without necessarily expecting much in return. This is your part of the deal as a sugar daddy. 
Have fun – Surprise gifts, dinners, trips, etc. are a way to inject some fun into your life and the life of your sugar baby. The more you treat it from a light and laidback standpoint the better.
Don’t obsess – Sugar babies will get turned off if you’re super obsessive and act like you’re deeply in love. This is supposed to be a casual relationship where you spoil them, not something meant to last a lifetime like a conventional serious relationship. 
Be transparent – If you only want sugar babies who will have intimate relations with you, then you better make that clear upfront. There are many sugar relationships that don’t get very physical, and the last thing you want is to get rejected after you’ve gotten your expectations up. Being clear from the start saves everyone time and hurt feelings. 
Be smart – As a wealthy person, you may have a significant public profile. Discretion is highly important. Don’t send compromising pictures or messages of yourself unless you’re absolutely sure that you trust this person. In general, be discreet, or else you may seriously regret it.  

How To Be A Good Sugar Baby

Try to be engaging – A sugar daddy wants you to act like he’s the most interesting person in the world. He doesn’t want to spend time and money on you only to have you stare at your phone or ignore him.  
Watch your physique – Although it depends on the daddy, many of them are superficial. Your physique will be an important feature drawing these daddies in, and so it’s important to maintain.  
Don’t be a headache – Sugar daddies generally want something light, playful, and fun. They’re looking for a distraction from work stress or simply a good time. If you are constantly overdramatic, emotional, etc. they will be turned off and want to end the relationship. 
Be funny – Everyone loves to laugh. And while it’s important that you laugh at your sugar daddy’s jokes, it really helps if you can make them laugh as well. 
Be up for anything – It’s totally fine to have your limits as a sugar baby, and you should think about what those are ahead of time. But the more you can be “up for anything,” the better. Sugar daddies often love to be spontaneous and spoil their babies almost randomly. So, the more you’re game for surprise gifts and trips, the better.  

Have Questions About Sugar Daddies and Babies? Here Are Some FAQs

What Does a Sugar Daddy Do?

A sugar daddy’s role is relatively simple. His “job” consists essentially in using his wealth to spoil the sugar baby. This might include fancy dinners, high-end alcohol, even vacations all around the world. In return, the sugar daddy expects a certain degree of companionship. 

Where Can I Find a Sugar Baby?

Finding a sugar baby is basically the same process as finding a sugar daddy. You simply need to leverage the sites and apps that exist specifically to unite would-be sugar babies with sugar daddies. One of the best sites for this is Seeking, though there are many others (the reviews for which you can see in the above article). 

What Does a Sugar Baby Do?

A sugar baby simply provides companionship to a sugar daddy. In exchange for being spoiled and receiving gifts, dinners, vacations, etc., a sugar baby is expected to provide companionship and affection to the sugar daddy. This isn’t necessarily always sexual, as that depends on the sugar daddy and the terms that you establish. It’s a good idea to be upfront about expectations from the get-go to ensure that everything goes smoothly. 

Is It Ok to Have a Sugar Daddy?

Some people may be wondering if it’s morally okay to have a sugar daddy. Well, that depends. Is the sugar daddy married with kids and doing this on the side without anyone knowing? That’s definitely a questionable thing to do morally speaking. But if no one else is at risk of being hurt by the relationship, and everything is consensual, then it’s perfectly okay to have a sugar daddy. 

Are Sugar Daddy Sites Legit?

Sugar daddy sites can definitely be legit. That said, sugar relationships have become more popular and so many sites have popped up lately. Not all of them are legitimate, so it’s important to be careful. A good idea would be to stick with the sites reviewed above, especially the biggest and most well-established ones. 

Read More

Adult cam sites are all the rage. There has never been a better time to interact with a live cam girl. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that we all feel so isolated, and connecting with a live model is more satisfying than watching prerecorded videos.

These days, most cam models offer their services via virtual camming platforms. There are quite literally hundreds of thousands of cam girls you can video chat with, so how in the world do you choose? These cam sites deliver the goods in terms of adventurous women, seamless camming experiences, and sexual gratification. But each site is unique in its own special way. From private shows to free options and special performers, there is a lot to digest.

We’ve taken the time to break down which cam sites are best, why, and how much each costs when it’s no longer free. Stick to this guide and you’ll certainly have the best cam experience possible.

The Best Adult Cam Sites of 2023

RankSiteBest For1.JerkmateBest modern cam website2.Sl*trouletteBest cam/chat hybrid3.ChaturbateBest overall cam site4.Flirt4FreeProfessional cam models5.ImLiveInnovative features6.Live Free FunBest sign up process7.MyFreeCamsBest free shows8.Cherry.tvBest newcomer9.LiveJasminMost gorgeous models10.CamSodaBest for specific fetishes11.Cams.comTeledildonic features12.XcamsMost diverse cam models13.StreamateThousands of streams at any given time14.Lucky CrushRandom one-on-one cam shows15.StripchatBeautiful live stripteases16.BongacamsEasiest cam site to navigate17.BabestationBiggest UK cam site

1.  Jerkmate: Best modern new cam site

Jerkmate is a really unique cam site because it allows its users to filter the models they search for by personal preference. You can specify your preference in gender, kink, and even body type. It’s a matching system between viewers and cam girls, which makes it feel pretty special. Once you match with someone, you have the option of also becoming a cam model. You can stream a video of yourself watching the cam girl, which is pretty nice. Think of it as if Chatroulette, Tinder, and Chaturbate had a love child. Most people enjoy watching private cam shows because they are longing for a connection, sexual or otherwise. Jerkmate delivers that in spades.

Jerkmate also hires actual pornstars and professional cam girls to stream live. Going one-on-one with one of the pros is unlikely and really expensive. However, if you prefer your cam girl to be an actual pornstar, you can view their live shows with other users on the site. These women will expect you to give them tons of tokens if you want them to do anything specific, but this is pretty normal for camming websites.

Beyond the two unique and exciting options that Jerkmate provides, it’s also very easy to use. It’s got a modern feel to it and selecting a show to watch could not be easier. If you don’t love who you’ve been matched with, you can also browse the expansive list of categories that Jerkmate has to offer. Those categories range from BDSM to Sex Toys and everything in between. As far as pricing goes, it’s up to the model. Expect to pay anywhere from $50 to $100 per hour watching one of the Jerkmate shows.

Pros:

Models can see you if you want
Intuitive search function
Advanced personalized features

Cons:

This is a pricey option

Pricing:

50 1 Gold = $1 (about 2-3 minutes of solid action)

2. Sl*troulette:Best chat/cam combo

Sl*troulette may not have quite the reputation as Chaturbate, but it’s been around quite some time—since 2010, in fact. That means they’ve got more than ten years’ experience in the cam game. And they deliver.

Sl*troulette is the X-rated version of Chat Roulette. Like Chat Roulette, Slut Roulette randomly pairs you up with another videocam. There’s no pressure—if you’re not feeling it, you can just keep clicking.

Overall, Sl*troulette is a fun spin on traditional cam sites given the randomness innate to its design. This may or may not appeal to you personally, however.

There are two main downsides to Sl*troulette. One, the sign-up process feels spammy and can be annoying. Two, there are a lot of pop-up ads on Sl*troulette, often even covering the video of the cam performer you’re trying to watch. That can get frustrating, as you might imagine.

Pros:

Worldwide camgirls 
Hottest categories 
Great private shows 
Previews pictures/photos of camgirls

Cons:

Basic tipping features 
Need to tip to access full nudity show

Pricing:

Gold = $1
Basic model per minute = $2
High-demand model per minute = $6
Exclusive chat per minute = $7

3. Chaturbate:Number one cam site in the world

There’s a good chance you’ve heard of Chaturbate. Not only is the name genius for a camgirl site, but Chaturbate has managed to stand the test of time. We can’t believe it’s been ten years since it was created back in 2011! It’s hailed as the best cam site available by millions of users because it has the most diverse and explicit portfolio of models who use the platform to stream.

When you get to the Chaturbate home page, you’ll be greeted with various thumbnails of women or scenes. That’s your sneak peek for what is to come when you actually click on one of these images. Immediately you’ll be launched into a wonderfully raunchy cam show completely free of charge. At first blush, it looks like most of these cam girls are doing solo shows, but once you take a deeper dive, you’ll find couples, threesomes, and other unique and interesting live shows to choose from. You can also search for shows by filtering by the huge list of categories or tags. Though busy looking, Chaturbate is very easy to navigate and explore with so many live feeds to watch for free.

You’re probably wondering if Chaturbate is completely free. The answer to that is both yes and no. While you can enter any live show for free, you are really walking into a teaser of sorts. The women on Chaturbate are trying to get you to eventually pay for a private show, which is what most people want anyway. We will admit though that the teasers are often very explicit and can usually get the job done before you even grab your wallet.

You likely will reach for your credit card though, because Chaturbate is famous for delivering satisfying one-on-one shows. They operate on a token system. As you spend more time watching the show, your tokens will begin to dwindle.

Pros:

Affordable
Best cam site available
Great one-on-one performances
You get a lot out of a free account

Cons:

Most models need to reach a certain token amount before they fully perform

Pricing:

100 tokens = $10.99
200 tokens = $20.99
500 tokens = $44.99 (22% bonus)
1,000 tokens = $79.99 (37% bonus)
2,025 tokens = $159.99 (39% bonus)

Check out our complete Chaturbate review if you’re looking for more info.

4. Flirt4Free: Intuitive search function available

Boasting nearly 3 decades of sex cam savvy, Flirt4Free has really carved a niche for itself as the cam site for gentlemen of refined tastes. While some freemium sites might offer a grab bag of amateur models, F4F shines for fans who yearn for a premium, top-shelf experience.

Their homepage is populated by elite-level camgirls from all over the world who know how to cater to your every desire. They’re virtually all “hair and make-up ready” and dressed to kill in gorgeous lingerie. But while Flirt4Free boasts a premium experience, premium does not necessarily imply “vanilla.” Finding the fetish models to feed your kink is easy using an intuitive category filtering system.

The “Free” in Flirt4Free might seem like something of a misnomer at first glance. While there’s always something hot going down in any number of public chatrooms, the real spank-bank-worthy action is saved for pay-per-minute private shows. Judging from many of the model reviews, Flirt camgirls tend to appeal to fans who want to go deeper on their fantasies. The top models tend to be surrounded by devout followers who crave repeat performances.

But while pay-per-minute shows may seem be daunting cost-wise, many models offer cost conscious options like semi-private “multi-user” and “group shows.” Some even allow members to negotiate their private show rates before a performance.

Pros:

Premium quality cam girls
Great variety of fetish models
Easy to filter categories

Cons:

Can be pricey
Fewer models compared to freemium sites

Pricing:

Standard = 30-60 credits per minute
Premiere chat = 70-500 credits per min
Voyeur mode = 10-40 credits per min
Multi-user = 10-120 credits per min
Feature shows = 30 credits per min (free for VIPs)

5. ImLive: Old-school cam site with innovative features

ImLive is the granddaddy of cam sites. It’s been around for almost 20 years and has managed to continue to captivate viewers with the changing times. ImLive is a streaming site where models and couples perform sex shows for their audiences. There’s not much more to it. However, not all sex cam sites offer couples shows, so if you like watching two people get it on then ImLive is your best bet.

The pay structure at ImLive gives you options, which is a definite plus. You can either pay by the minute or send models tips. There are also plenty of models and shows to choose from, so you’ll never have a dull moment on this popular cam site.

From amateurs to professionals, members will find the girls online and ready for a great time 24/7, and purchasing credits (the site’s currency) is fast and easy.

ImLive has several innovative features, including share screen where members and the model can watch video or play an online game together.

Yes, ImLive dubs itself a free cam site, but we know what that really means. You can watch archived shows for free, but the live goods are going to cost you. The shows are usually worth it, but don’t expect a ton of interaction from the models. They tend to fall short in their personal relationships with viewers and fans; however, the shows themselves are a treat to watch.

Pros:

Great for watching couples
Different payment options
Free archived shows
Free amateur videos

Cons:

The models can be a little cagey at times
Bronze members = 0.60 credits per minute
Silver = 0.70 credits per min
Gold = 0.80 credits per min
VIP = 0.90 credits per min

6.  Live Free Fun: Easy sign up

Live Free Fun calls itself “the secret guide to free live sex.” Let’s break that down a bit.If you’re willing to submit your email, then you can get a free account and start watching erotic webcams in no time. Since a lot of cam sites require memberships and/or paying the cammers through tips to get true X-rated content, Live Free Fun is a way to get good content for free.

The registration is straightforward, and you don’t have to worry about giving up sensitive information like a credit card. So, the benefits definitely seem to outweigh the risks.

This is a solid cam site with quality models.

Pros:

Free with email sign-up
Simple registration
Erotic webcams without having to tip

Cons:

Interface is a bit clunky

Pricing:

Gold = $1

7.  MyFreeCams: Actual free shows

For those of you shopping for cam sites on a budget, there’s no better site for you than MyFreeCams, also known as Jerk N’ Cum. Yes, the shows on this site are actually free. This is obviously the biggest perk that MyFreeCams has to offer.

Because it’s free and the models don’t charge you to watch their shows, you might be skeptical of the quality but you truly have nothing to worry about. The women on MyFreeCams are as skilled as they are gorgeous. They are also down to get into some very kinky activity, which is why you’re watching cam girls in the first place!

The one thing that you can’t really access on this site is private chat or one-on-one video sessions. But what can you really expect from a cam site that doesn’t cost you a dime? You can of course purchase tokens on MyFreeCams and try your luck asking one of the models for a private show, but it’s not very likely to happen. These models are used to the dynamic of the site and aren’t normally willing to make an exception for anyone. These models also aren’t the most responsive to requests in their chat box. That’s potentially because it’s oversaturated with guys like you asking them to do a million different things. If you’re OK with just being a voyeur for free, MyFreeCams is a fantastic budget-friendly option for you.

If you decide that you’d like to pay for MyFreeCams because you can afford to or you’ve got extra cash lying around, you will be given the keys to their entire library of cam girl archives. You can check out their old videos. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but there are folks out there wholove it.

Pros:

Genuinely free
Fantastic performances

Cons:

Can’t view private shows

Pricing:

200 tokens = $19.99
500 tokens = $49.99
900 tokens = $74.99
1,875 tokens = $149.99

8.  Cherry.tv:Best new cam site

Cam sites such as Jerkmate and Chaturbate may have the lion’s share of attention, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t plenty of other sites popping up all the time. While many of these aren’t worth your trouble, some of them may turn out to be major competitors.

One such site is cherry.tv, from the people over at Cherry Models. The site has only recently gone live and is still in Beta mode, which means for now they only have cis-women and trans women cam girls. That said, the platform will be opened up to everyone in the next version. 

One cool thing about Cherry.tv is that it isn’t just another cam site like any other. They’re attempting to introduce more “gamification” to the concept, so cherry.tv allows models to “level up” by gaining experience points (xp). Streaming gets cammers XP as well as receiving certain gifts from fans. 

Cherry.tv won numerous awards in 2021, such as “Best Emerging Company” and “Emerging Web Brand of the Year.” They are also one of the best sites out there in terms of compensating streamers. So, if you want the vast majority of your hard-earned money to go to the actual cam model, then cherry.tv is a great option for you. 

Pros:

Relatively affordable
Fun, game-like interface
Streamers receive almost all of the tips

Cons:

In beta mode (no male models or couples)
Just started so not a ton of active models yet
100 tokens = $9.99
1,150 tokens = $99.99
VIP = $17.99/month

9.  LiveJasmin: Known for having stunning models

The most noteworthy thing to say about LiveJasmin is that the women on this site are drop dead gorgeous. They are diverse, in shape, stunning, manicured, and all around perfect cam girls. You will notice this the minute you hop onto the home page. It looks extremely put together, modern, and professional.

These women don’t seem to be filming themselves from dimly lit bedrooms. Instead, it feels like a whole studio operation with professional porn stars. This is a pro for most, but some viewers enjoy that amateurish feel. If you are into the amateur stuff, then steer clear of LiveJasmin because it’s all top notch here. LiveJasmin is full of very recognizable and famous cam girl faces. That’s what makes it one of the best cam sites around.

Other than the beautiful stars and modern interface, there’s not much about LiveJasmin that makes it stand out (except for the fact that they have a nice mobile option, but who wants to watch a cam girl on their cell phone?). It’s set up like many other cam sites and takes you through the same process and the features are the same. A nice perk though is the fact that LiveJasmin caters to every type of gender and sexuality, giving it a distinctly diverse library of models and streams to choose from.

Pros:

Beautiful recognizable models
Mobile option
Range of genders, sexualities, and kinks

Cons:

No amateur option

Pricing:

$34 for 25 credits
$75 for 65 credits
$106 for 95 credits
$170 for 160 credits

10.  CamSoda: Cam girls with the best personalities

CamSoda operates like most cam sites do. There are free rooms that you can enter to view live adult cam shows, but if you want the women to do anything specific during the show, you will need to spend. However, CamSoda is really affordable. This is because the models don’t charge you per minute. It’s based solely on your donations.

The one drawback to CamSoda is their pricing structure. Most cam sites will allow you to enter free cam shows, but not before informing you of what you should tip the model or what each naughty activity costs. Getting a girl to perform a desired sexual act is going to require linking up with the other guys in the chat and pooling that money until the model’s “goal” is reached. Each model comes up with a different money goal per show and tries to seduce the viewers into paying up. You can’t blame them; camming is their job.

Private shows aren’t really a thing on CamSoda. However, the models on this cam site are very interactive. They actually pay a lot of attention to the chat as their show is live and they make you feel like you are actually in the room with them while they are performing. People have complained before that some models on CamSoda talk too much or spend too much time replying to their fans.

Pros:

Interactive models with personality
Caters to a variety of fetishes

Cons:

The models don’t list their prices per naughty activity

Pricing:

50 tokens = $5.99
100 tokens = $10.99
550 tokens = $49.99

11.  Cams.com: Cam site with a teledildonics option

Cams.com is one of the more unique and advanced cam sites on this list. You might not know it by just visiting their website because initially, it looks like your average cam site. There are free shows that you can enter and you have the ability to filter by model, body type, and gender. This is one of the few sex cam sites that contains female shows in addition to male shows, trans shows, and nonbinary shows. We find that to be a huge plus as it caters to a much wider audience of viewers.

Cams.com is not only ahead of the game in terms of their diversity, but they are also very technologically advanced. If you are someone who watches a lot of VR porn, you are familiar with the term teledildonics. In VR, teledildonics are bluetooth sex toys that synch up to what you are watching. For the purposes of cams, it allows you to control the sex toy that the performer is using, which is insanely cool and futuristic! It brings an entirely new level to cam shows and makes you feel like you are intimately interacting with a model right there in the room with them.

This cam site is one where you have to pay by the minute, which can get really pricey if you plan on spending a lot of time on the site. Yes, there are free shows, but they aren’t all that good. It’s worth checking out the paid ones though because of all the unique features.

Pros:

Teledildonics!
Advanced search function
Diverse models

Cons:

If you aren’t in it for the teledildonics, there are better options

Pricing:

100 tokens = $12
175 tokens = $20
500 tokens = $50
1,100 tokens = $100
1-month package = $20/month
3-month package = $39/month

12.  XCams: Diverse Euro models

XCams is a special cam site for folks who have eyes for European cam models. They flourish on XCams, though it’s a lesser-known site than the rest. It’s surprising that it flies under the radar because there are always so many models available at any given time for anyone to watch.

Diversity is the name of the game over at XCams. While they feature tons of Europeans, these models are really diverse in their backgrounds, performance styles, and kinks that they love to get into. It’s fun to browse through the thumbnails of videos on the XCams homepage because you get a peek at all the unique shows they have to offer.

Each model decides what you’ll pay for a show. Before you commit, you’ll be shown a preview, told where the model is from, and told how many credits you’ll need to pay for your time. You will get 25 free credits just for signing up, which will give you about five minutes on average.

Pros:

Beautiful diverse cam girls
Very kinky
Great previews for private shows

Cons:

Models operate on an expensive price-per-minute structure
Small amount of free credits when you sign up

Pricing:

25 free credit trial
40 credits = $9.99 ($0.76/min)
82 credits = $19.99 ($0.75/min)
225 credits = $49.99 ($0.74/min)

13.  Streamate: Most options

If you’re after quantity, Streammate is a good option. There are literally thousands of models online at any given time when you head over to the site. It doesn’t matter if it’s during your 12 PM lunch break or after midnight, this site is always busy. It’s the cam site that never sleeps.

The Streamate performers also love to please. Truthfully, it’s because they want to be tipped well, but you can rest assured that any model you watch on Streamate will work very hard to earn your affection. They are very engaging, personable, and (of course) sexy.

Streamate is a no-frills site that takes you straight to the action. It doesn’t need all the bells and whistles because it provides a large amount of really great shows. You can use their simple and intuitive search function to filter your options, making Streamate one of the easiest sex cam sites to navigate. And their filtering options get really specific, so you can find exactly what turns you on. There is also a “Newcomer” section for the viewers who love to watch fresh talent or want to discover new models.

Pros:

Thousands of models to choose from
Amateurs and professionals available

Cons:

This site has a lot of annoying ads
Outdated web design

Pricing:

$1-$4 per minute (no tokens/credits)

14.  LuckyCrush: A combo of a cam site and Chatroulette

LuckyCrush is a cam girl site that randomly matches you with flirty ladies. It’s newer, but it has managed to attract millions of users on a monthly basis. People like to say that LuckyCrush is a healthy mix of a cam site and a random chat site like Chatroulette. It’s probably what you wished Chatroulette could be when you were too young to know about cam sites. Men and women are randomly paired for an erotic video chat.

LuckyCrush is confident in its unique model, which is why it offers first-time male visitors a brief free trial. After that, you will need to purchase credits to enjoy the site. Women come to LuckyCrush hoping to make money, so stocking up a little bit will do you some good.

Because LuckyCrush is totally random, you might be paired up with a hottie who is on the other side of the world. Don’t worry if you don’t speak her language. LuckyCrush has a built-in translation feature that makes it easy to communicate with models from all over the world. It’s an exciting approach to cam shows.

Pros:

Personally meet models from all over the world
Exclusively private shows

Cons:

You can’t filter or search
Not for everyone

Pricing:

15 minutes = $16.99
45 minutes = $49.99
90 minutes = $99.99

15.  StripChat: Interactive stripteases

StripChat is a cam site with some special perks. On the surface, it’s a way to view beautiful live stripteases performed by stunning models. Some of them just like to strip and others take it up a notch by displaying naughty activities. In that regard, it’s a little different from your average sex cam site. You can check out the videos for free and tip the models, like you normally would. These tips are given in the form of tokens, which you will need to purchase beforehand.

The women on StripChat are not amateurs. They are women who seem to fit right into the porn industry. They really know what they are doing and they are fantastic at putting on a show for an audience. This is also a site that sadly caters exclusively to the male gaze. In other words, there isn’t any real gender diversity unless you head over to their couples section. However, everything, including the lesbian scenes, seems to be shot exclusively for purely heterosexual males.

What separates StripChat from the crowd is their VR feature. Now, if you don’t have a pair of VR goggles, you are going to want to stop reading because this next part is going to make you really jealous. StripChat’s VR function allows you to throw on a headset and opt in for a private show from one of their pretty performers. It takes live interaction to new heights and is a deeply satisfying cam experience. The videos are in HD, so you won’t miss a thing!

Pros:

HD stripteases
VR features
Professional cam girls

Cons:

Sometimes, you only get a striptease

Pricing:

90 tokens = $9
200 tokens = $19
500 tokens = $50
1,000 tokens = $99
2,200 tokens = $199

16.  BongaCams: Affordable, transparent

On the surface, BongaCams likes to pretend that it’s a free cam site full of women, couples, and trans people. If you’ve made it this far in reading cam reviews, you won’t be surprised to learn that every site is going to squeeze some coin out of you at some point. That’s just how these things work. But BongaCams isn’t going to suck you dry by charging per minute. Their models make a living based on their tips, and you are going to eventually want to tip them through the token payment structure.

The good thing about the BongaCams pricing setup is that there are really no surprises. When you enter a free live show, you are shown a list of the models prices per a given activity. For instance, erotic play between two beautiful lesbian models might cost you 100 tokens. You’ll be informed of everything up front, which helps you figure out which shows are worth watching based on your personal preference and what you can afford. You can also try your luck at jumping into a show and mooching off the other viewers who will send tips, but it might test your patience.

BongaCams delivers incredible shows but doesn’t provide many private show options. In the end, BongaCams is a pretty predictable cam site with a token system and great performers. You’ll find a lot of new girls on this site too, because it’s very welcoming to girls who want to get into camming for the first time.

Pros:

Very transparent about price
Great site design

Cons:

Not great for private shows

Pricing:

50 tokens = $8
135 tokens = $20
432 tokens = $49
650 tokens = $75
4,500 tokens = $499

17.  BabeStation: Huge UK cam site

BabeStation has been around for nearly two decades and is the biggest cam site for UK models. Of all the cam sites, BabeStation is not one that you want to breeze past because it has a lot to offer.

Most sites that have been around for as long as BabeStation have pretty much nailed the cam girl experience. This will become clear to you immediately upon visiting the site. Rather than staring at a bunch of thumbnails, you’ll be plopped into a live show right away. You can of course exit and search for a show that’s a bit more your flavor, but it’s nice to know that you can freely view HD cam shows from the jump.

One thing that BabeStation is missing is an easy way for new visitors to browse and filter. Most of the models are great, but this site isn’t designed to cater to unique fetishes because it’s hard to navigate. Some of the performers are also a little dry. They will sometimes just keep their camera on while they go about mundane tasks, which is more of a voyeuristic experience than an interactive cam show.

BabeStation does offer a ton of promotions at any given time, making it feel very affordable when you decide that you do want to tip a model.

Pros:

Biggest UK cam site
Can actually watch shows for free

Cons:

Not an easy site to navigate
Some performers lack engagement or personality

Pricing:

9.99 GBP per month (Silver – Babestation)
29.99 GBP per month (Diamond – Babestation)
2 GBP per minute (sending your stream-  Cam2Studio)
Price varies per model (WorldCams HD)

How to Have the Best Adult Cam Site Experience

If you’re brand new to cam sites, you might feel a bit lost. There are a lot of them, and they’re not all worth your time. Check out the following four tips to ensure that you end up on the best sites and have a great experience. 

Browse before you buy

Do you buy a car without test driving it? Do you buy a house without seeing it first? When it comes to spending your hard-earned money, it’s always good to avoid wasting it. And a good way to throw away your money is to start spending a ton of it on cam sites.

Your best bet is to browse around some of the top cam sites before you sign up for any subscriptions, premium memberships, etc. Many cam sites can even be browsed for free—even the biggest one, Chaturbate. So, it’s recommended to spend some time familiarizing yourself with the various sites out there before spending any cash. 

Privilege quality over quantity

There are some sites with thousands of cam models who are active at any given time. Yet, all those choices may be overwhelming, and it might feel like finding a needle in a haystack to find something of high quality. So, you might be better off finding a site with fewer models but with a higher percentage of fun and engaged and attractive ones.

That said, the biggest cam sites like Chaturbate give you different filtering options and the default is to show you the cammers with the largest number of viewers. This generally means that you can find high quality content without having to look too far. 

Stick to the big names

Camming has exploded in recent years. As you might expect, there’s been a lot of people trying to get a slice of the pie. Tons of cam sites have popped up, and not all of them are created equal—in fact, it’s not even close.

To avoid getting scammed and wasting your money and/or time, stick to the biggest names in the camming world—sites like Chaturbate and MyFreeCams, for example. 

Participate to maximize the experience

Cam sites are all about participation. This is what inherently separates them from regular porn sites. If no one participated—neither chatting nor giving any tips—the cam site wouldn’t exist. The models depend on tips for it to be worth their while, and the chatting helps keep things fun and engaging. 

So, don’t be shy to participate. You might find that it really enhances your overall experience, especially if you tip to get into private shows. Otherwise, you might as well just stick to regular porn. 

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You may or may not be aware that Craigslist closed its Personals section after the passage of SESTA in 2018. 

Contrary to lawmakers’ assumptions, people used Craigslist for totally legitimate reasons, including meeting people in their area, whether for friendship, casual hookups, or dating. 

Now that Craigslist Personals are no more, you may find yourself looking for alternatives in 2023. Well, look no further, as we’re about to share twenty of the best Craigslist Personals alternative websites so you can still meet people in your area online. 

There’s quite a large variety here, so you’ll want to be sure to read through to find out which site or app may be the best choice for you. Also, you should be aware that some of these pages may have similar issues to the ones that plagued Craigslist (and ended up getting them taken down). So, please take into account the following disclaimer.

While most of these sites are perfectly legitimate, there are a few that may have scams and/or ads for illegal activities. In general, you should always exercise extreme caution. Remember to meet in a public place and always trust your gut.

That said, many of these sites can be a perfectly safe and easy way to meet people, so let’s get right into it!

1.) Reddit Personals

You’ve probably heard of Reddit. If not, it’s one of the largest communities online where people can post about anything and everything on what’s known as “subreddits.” One popular subreddit, which can serve as a Craigslist alternative, is r/r4r. Known as “Reddit Personals,” the subheading is “Activity Partners, Groups, Dating, Hanging Out, Soulmates, FWBs.” So, you can simply make your own ad here, let people know about yourself and what you’re looking for, and see if you get any kind of response. As Reddit is free, it’s pretty much a no-lose option. 

2.) Adult Friend Finder 

When it comes to Craigslist Personals alternatives for casual hookups, Adult Friend Finder is definitely a top choice. Self-billed as “The World’s Largest Sex Dating Site & Swinger Community,” this might very well be true as they have more than 100 million people with accounts. Similar to Ashley Madison, there’s a limited free option as well as paid tiers. With a paid subscription you can get access to features such as “Stories,” which gives you a chance to discuss your ideal dating life so that other people can easily see if you might be a match based on your goals or general vibes. 

Want more info about Adult Friend Finder? Check out our full review.

3.) Ashley Madison

It’s highly likely you’ve seen ads for Ashley Madison at some point, at least if you frequent *ahem* certain websites. That’s because Ashley Madison is bold about its purpose, as evidenced by its motto: “Life is short. Have an affair.” In essence, this is a site for connecting adults who are after casual hookups in a discreet fashion. For example, if you’re a paying subscriber, your credit card bill will simply read “Online services.” If you’re intent on taking advantage of all the features offered on the site, then you may want to be subscribe. There’s a handy feature, for example, called “Traveling Man” that lets you reach out to people from an area you’ll be visiting before you actually get there.

Need some more info about Ashley Madison before making a decision? Check out our full review here.

4.) Locanto

Locanto is very similar to Oodle and many other Craigslist lookalikes. For example, you have a category called “Casual Encounters” with a number of subcategories. There, you can post a personal ad to let people know what it is exactly that you’re hoping to find. As with Oodle, it appears to be mainly men posting in my area, with some of the female postings looking fairly suspicious. Be sure to use your best judgment, and Locanto could end up being a decent option for you to meet people. 

5.) Tinder 

Tinder likely doesn’t need a whole lot of introduction, as it’s become one of the most popular “dating” apps around. I put dating in scare quotes because, let’s face it, pretty much everyone knows Tinder’s reputation as an app for casual flings rather than serious dating. Not that that can’t happen, of course. Super popular with millennials and gen Z’ers in particular, Tinder is a fairly simple app. You see profiles of people in your area, then you swipe right if you’re interested or left if you aren’t. Then you’ll get matched up with people who you swiped right on who also swiped right on you. From there, you can start messaging and see what happens. There’s a basic free version as well as a paid tier called Tinder Gold that gives you extra features and unlimited swiping. 

6.) Kasual (fka Yumi)

Formerly known as Yumi, Kasual is a nice alternative to Craigslist and the other sites mentioned here because it has a pretty unique premise. Instead of being matched up with other people by swiping or algorithms, Kasual connects you with other people randomly and you can just start chatting right away to see if you might be a fit. Available for iOS (iPhone) and Android, the app comes with a free version that’s pretty complete as is. You can always go for the Premium membership, of course, if you want to unlock more features. All in all, Kasual is kind of a cool alternative compared to Tinder and other dating sites because it’s primarily focused on casual hookups (hence the rebrand) and pairing people randomly. 

7.) Plenty of Fish 

POF, or Plenty of Fish, is a reference to the classic idea that there are “plenty of fish in the sea”—put differently, don’t worry about being single or getting broken up with because there are tons of other people out there to meet. POF works as both a website or app, which is nice as some of these are only available as one or the other. As a dating site, it’s pretty typical in that you get matched up based on shared interests. You can also use a video-date feature, which is a nice way to get a feel for someone before you take the plunge with an in-person date. 

8.) Pernals

Logo

This is a great Craigslist substitute because it’s all about personal ads. Pernals gives you the opportunity to create your own personal ad for free. This means you can put exactly what you’re looking for, whether that’s a serious relationship, casual hookup, even a friend, etc. Pernals advertises itself as a Craigslist alternative, which is relatively uncommon among many of these alternatives reviewed here. Just like Craigslist you have the same types of categories: women seeking women, women seeking men, men seeking women, etc. As of now it’s only available as an app, and you can download it for both iOS or Android. 

9.) Bedpage

Bedpage, as you might guess from the name, is more of a direct Backpage alternative. That said, it also has the same types of categories as Craigslist Personals had: women seeking women, men seeking women, etc. For casual encounters, you’ll want to check out the “Dating” and “Adult” categories. Just be careful, though, because a quick browse in my area revealed some people posting who are definitely scammers. 

10.) Doublelist

Doublelist is quite similar to Craigslist. One thing that’s a little frustrating is that you have to sign up to browse the site. Their motto is “Connect with straight, gay, bi and curious,” so it isn’t super hard to figure out what most people using this site are looking for. With more than three million users in the U.S., though, there’s a solid chance you might just find someone who’s a good match for you. As always, take care to watch out for scammers. 

11.) Oodle

Oodle is in many ways very close to Craigslist’s old personals page, with the usual categories like “Men Seeking Men,” “Men Seeking Women,” etc. You can use some handy filters on this site, which can help you easily narrow your options down. At least in my area there don’t appear to be a ton of people using Oodle, so it might not be your best bet. Depending on what you’re into, there were more men posting than women, so it might be worth your time or it might not be. 

12.) Ebackpage

Once again, Ebackpage is a clear Backpage/Craigslist copy. You can post and browse personal ads, with all the usual categories under “Dating” and “Adult” for people who are interested in casual encounters. The site doesn’t seem to have a large body of active users, however, so this might not be one of your best options. As with Bedpage and some of these other sites, you’ll need to be careful as there are some scammy looking postings on it. 

13.) Classified Ads

Classified Ads is, well, exactly what it sounds like. This is a solid Craigslist alternative because it’s super similar. Simply select “Personals” on the front page and you’ll see the classic categories: “Men Seeking Women,” “Missed Connections,” etc. There’s not a whole lot to tell you about this site—it’s quite straightforward and either you’ll find some options in your area or you won’t. 

14.) Grindr

Grindr is basically Tinder but specifically for gay men. In other words, there’s a focus primarily on hookups, but that doesn’t mean that that’s the only possibility. If you’re a gay man after casual encounters, this might very well be the only app or site that you need. If you’re not a gay man, however, Grindr won’t be of much use to you. 

15.) HealthyFling

HealthyFling, like Ashley Madison, emphasizes discretion. As you can see on their website, their tagline is “Discreet Hook-Ups.” Like many of these sites, you have the option to post a personal ad so that you can get yourself out there and see if other people respond. You can also browse and see if anyone appeals to you. Unfortunately, you have to sign up in order to browse or post an ad. All in all, this is a decent option and has some positive reviews going for it online. 

16.) OkCupid

OkCupid has been around for ages and it’s survived until today, so it must be doing something right. You can download it for iOS or Android, which is always nice. Another solid aspect of OkCupid is that it doesn’t require a paid membership in order to look for matches or message people. That said, like most dating sites nowadays, you may be tempted to pay in order to unlock certain features. Another plus is that OkCupid tries to be as inclusive as possible, meaning there’s pretty much something for everyone on there. 

17.) FetLife Classifieds

With over 10 million members, FetLife might very well be the biggest social network out there for kinky people. This is a nice draw as many people may feel insecure or ostracized by their kinks. Well, you can pretty much count on finding at least one other person who shares your interests on FetLife, which works as solid Craigslist ad if you want to find your freaky soulmate. 

18.) Kijiji

If you’re in Canada, you likely already know about Kijiji. It’s a platform where you can find just about anything, from pets and cars to services and vacation rentals. That said, it also works as a Craigslist alternative if you go to their “Community” section. There, you can check categories like “Friendship & Networking” and “Missed Connections” to post an ad or see if there are any there. That said, it doesn’t appear that these categories are nearly as active as others, so it might not be your best bet. 

19.) Alt.com

Alt.com is similar to FetLife in that it’s a site specifically for people who are into BDSM and kinks/fetishes. That said, its site has a kind of old-school vibe to it, and not in a good way. It looks rather clunky and the kind of thing you would see advertised on a porn site rather than the more elegant looking FetLife. It also looks like they take random fake profiles and put your city’s name underneath them on the home page in order to entice you (much like porn site ads often do). So, while you’re free to explore Alt, I would try FetLife first if you’re looking for people to get kinky with. 

20.) Craigslist

Wait, what? Didn’t Craigslist ban the Personals section? Yes. Nonetheless, people are always adept at bending the rules and finding workarounds. So, although there’s no “Personals” section per se, you can still find people posting in order to meet up on Craigslist. For example, you can try the “Activities” section or the “Missed Connections” section in your area and you might very well see postings by people looking to meet up for casual encounters. 

Final Thoughts 

Although Craigslist Personals were banned, luckily there are plenty of alternatives available. That said, there’s a lot of variety to these options (as you can tell if you read all the reviews above). So, ultimately, whatever you end up choosing to use will depend on what you’re looking for, where you are, etc.

For the most part, if you’re in the U.S. you may want to stick with one of the major dating or hookup apps—Tinder, Adult Friend Finder, AshleyMadison, etc. If you’re in Canada, then you can try Kijiji, but it doesn’t necessarily have a lot going for it as a casual hookup site. 

The main thing is that you use good judgment and stay safe. A lot of Craigslist alternatives are loaded with scammers looking to take advantage of lonely people. It’s sad, yes, but true. Remember to follow basic common sense and never send anyone personal information or money before you’ve actually met them and verified that everything is legitimate. If you’re ever in doubt, you should probably recognize that and listen to your gut!

Ultimately, there are still plenty of ways for people to meet other people online via social media and the above sites. So long as you’re careful, there’s plenty of fun to be had. 

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Jalen Kobayashi, aka JaefKae Credit: Peoples Streets

I met Jalen Kobayashi in 2017 through Young Chicago Authors’ Louder Than a Bomb poetry festival, where for years we were on separate teams, expressing ourselves through spoken word and sometimes even competing against each other. We’ve since become close friends, connecting through our gifts with the pen and our shared passion for Black liberation. We’ve supported each other’s creative journeys, and we had each other’s backs on the front lines of the fight for justice for marginalized identities during the uprisings of summer 2020. 

Jalen is a northwest-side native, raised by the blocks of Albany Park and the lively Humboldt Park streets. He carries the proud boisterous aura of where he comes from, the family lineage that trails behind him, and the legacy he wishes to create. In addition to his work as a poet and activist, he’s also an artist, producer, and musician, recording and performing as JaefKae. Now 22, he started making music at 14. He brings the same unstoppable energy to it that he does to everything he touches: he already has a catalog of more than 200 songs, and on January 17 he self-released his seventh album, Richcraft.

I’ve been there for much of his growth, and I’ve witnessed his craft blossom into what it is today. He’s a music-making machine: he records, mixes, and often produces his own material, and he’s even coined the name of a new genre. The sound he calls “kongri” is a futuristic fusion of American-style hip-hop, Afrobeats, dancehall, reggaeton, and other elements, with a heavy emphasis on percussion. 

JaefKae has a lengthy performance history too, which includes opening up for some of the biggest names in hip-hop: he read a poem at a Chicago Ideas Week event in fall 2015 where Common launched the anti-violence video “Put the Guns Down,” and he shared a bill with Pusha T and Nas at Wintrust Arena for a Red Bull Music Festival concert in November 2018. But while he’s brought his music to venues throughout the city, he’s received very little recognition for his efforts.

This conversation has been edited for length and clarity. 

Alycia Kamil: Did you know from a young age that you wanted to be an artist?

JaefKae: I’ve known since I came out of the womb that I was going to be a rapper. When I was six years old, I dressed up as a rapper for Halloween. When my mom took me out for trick-or-treating she would go, “How are you going to be a rapper, and you not rapping? You need to rap.” So at every house I would go up to, I would pull out a piece of paper and spit a verse. My rap name was J.J Jones at the time. People were like, “Wow, this kid is crazy—why is he on my porch rapping?” 

After that my family has always encouraged me to perform and make songs. My auntie would babysit me, and I would just make her listen to my raps. When my parents got home, she would be like, “Listen to this rap that Jalen made!” So from a young age, I knew what I was going to do. 

How much of an impact do your words on paper have on your words on the mike, and vice versa? And can we ever expect to see some more poetry from you? 

I have a plan to incorporate spoken word in my next album—a poem to introduce us to the album, and one to take us out. I also want to release more poetry; there’s so much in the vault that never made it out to the ether. The poetry on the page is the poetry on the mike. There’s the rhythm and the poetry. So I make them work in tandem all the time and become best friends. 

Do you remember how old you were when you made your first song that solidified your passion to become a professional musician?

It was called “Blow Your Mind.” I was going by the name Young Mind or Bright Young Mind at the time. It was over a beat that my dad made—he’s a real hip-hop head. He used to be a producer and an MC as well. I freestyled over that beat and made that song. I had a little bubble microphone—it was really cheap, but it got the job done. I didn’t have a compressor at the time, so I put a sock over it so my Ps and my Ss were filtered right.

Who are some of your musical influences?

Honestly, I’m feeling great. The albums beforehand all have central themes, but they were more of compilations, besides Out the Window, which I released in 2021. I’ve been working on the songs for Richcraft since last year. This is an album that I made for myself with different components, spiritual and metaphysical, combining them all so that listeners can relate to them. They might be going through a tough time, hear the song “Malanga,” and think, “Oh wow, anything I want, I get—that’s it.” Those words can empower them.

What’s the story behind the name Richcraft?

People say witchcraft is bad; people have so many ideas about it. There’s more to the root of it: people who are psychic, have visions, dreams, praying grandmothers, dance, are good at cooking, all these different things that go into metaphysical aspects. I think that’s where I got the name, from the metaphysical aspect of getting money, the “rich” and my craft. The craft of what I’m doing is rich. Not just “witchcraft” and “rich craft” together to rhyme, but the actual way that I’m putting together the songs—my discipline of making music—is rich.

Walk us through your songwriting process, from knowing which beat you’re going with to recording the song.

If I get a beat from one of my external producers, I listen to it for a while. Ride around listening to it, play it while I’m in the shower. Then I’m like, “OK, here it is. Here’s the song.” It just comes, and it comes naturally. 

No, I didn’t feel nervous. I was anticipating what the response would be because I haven’t done this in a long time. You know, I made my little albums when I was a freshman in high school, where I produced songs on those. I would go to the library and people would be like, “Oh no, this ain’t it, let me help you.” That’s actually how I got some of my first producers. 

Hearing my beats now, having other people hear them, I was excited. Even the songs I didn’t produce, I still mixed and mastered. I sat there when there was no song, just an empty Logic file and the metronome clicking. When it’s time and you need the world to hear the music that’s in your heart, then you put it out. You’re not scared.

You coined a new genre called “kongri.” What made you come to this discovery, and what are some songs on your recent release people can listen to in order to hear it? 

I’ve had this idea for about three years now. This is an exclusive about kongri, because nobody has come up with it but me! So congri is a dish from Cuba—it’s made around the Caribbean, but it originated in Cuba. It’s a mixture of black beans and white rice. Not a mixture like once both are finished you put it together, but you put everything in a pot and it’s mixed that way. 

The kongri aspect of what I’m doing is combining the elements of hip-hop with my Caribbean roots—along with keeping up with traditional styles of heavy bass, lyricism, Auto-Tune, rhyme, fast pace, and flow. Very heavy on the percussion as well on the album. You’ll hear that on “Malanga,” “Stealth,” “Lava,” “Blow It,” and even a bit on “Sometimes.” You’ll hear the cowbells, bongo, conga, and different percussions. It’s about paying homage and combining both sides of where I’m from.

You mentioned you want people to feel like they can manifest their biggest desires while listening to this album. And what are some specific songs on the album that utilize that manifesting power the most? 

When I say that [something is] going to happen, that’s because I’ve already envisioned it happening. That’s because I’ve done the work to make it happen. That’s because I’ve put other things in place to make it happen. “Malanga” is a perfect example of that. The spiritual work I do—I see, I listen, I have visions, I have dreams. 

For people who maybe don’t feel like they could have those same visions, “Malanga” is telling you that you can. “Anything I need, guaranteed / No wait for the ripe, my green yellow banana.” What that means is if I have the fruit already, and it’s the fruit of my labor, I don’t need to wait for it to ripen. I just need to open it, enjoy it, and go as far as I can. 

My artistry is my activism. After the summer of 2020, and realizing that the words I said could get me maliciously targeted and dragged and brutalized by the police, I realized that things are at much bigger stakes than they seem. It’s not important to always be in the cameras, at the actions with the megaphone. So now my music, I’m empowering the youth and the community with high vibrations and frequencies that are real. In my music, I don’t talk about killing people, shooting, or selling drugs—my music is meant to empower. I empower people through positivity, not just false positivity. I talk about real shit. 

At the same time, the way I go about it is the way I want people to go about it in their everyday life. All of these songs are still tied back to Black liberation, to the plight of Black people and African-descended people in America and the Caribbean. 

We can experience so much pain, strife, and erasure. What’s something you want to see for Chicago citizens? What are some words to give to up-and-coming artists and the youth of the city, being a young person yourself?

First one, Chicago citizens, we need a long life. The age disparity between the west side and the north side, the age disparity between Black people and white people in this city, is so much more than just something you see on paper. It’s in real life. 

Our babies are too young to be doing drugs. Too young to be worried about getting shot, and thinking they won’t be anything in life when they grow up. The pressure put on our young people, specifically Black people in this city, is you either make it out of the hood or you’re going to die. 

The last thing, as a young person who was born and raised in this city, I’m just very hopeful all of the time. I’m a very hard-praying person that things change for the better. We need to start putting each other on and stop putting each other down. 

You see a lot of rappers that claim to do anti-violence work but talk about killing people in their songs. Rappers who claim to fight for Black women but refer to them in derogatory terms, enabling abusers in the space. You cannot have both. So hold people accountable in your circle. When you see somebody who is struggling and putting in the work just like you did, make that connection. Build with each other and get in how you fit in. That’s my word on that.

Fifty years from now, what do you see yourself doing, and what would you have hoped to accomplish by then?

Fifty years from now? Damn! I want to have made all the music I wanted to make. I want to have made instrumental music. Yeah, I want to be able to play instruments, make jazz music, and stuff like that. I want to have my own record label and bring a new generation of artists who are like-minded and similar in style. 

I believe in the freedom of our people, the liberation of our people, the empowerment of our people, our traditions, and where we come from. I don’t believe our history started with war. So I want to work with people who can eventually get to that way of thinking. I want to have been able to help them navigate the music business and produce them. I want to sit back and let them do the real soul cleaning. Fifty years from now, I want to be somewhere where people can’t find me. I want to have a big happy family and be able to look back and say, “This was all worth it.”

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Jalen Kobayashi, aka JaefKae Credit: Peoples Streets

I met Jalen Kobayashi in 2017 through Young Chicago Authors’ Louder Than a Bomb poetry festival, where for years we were on separate teams, expressing ourselves through spoken word and sometimes even competing against each other. We’ve since become close friends, connecting through our gifts with the pen and our shared passion for Black liberation. We’ve supported each other’s creative journeys, and we had each other’s backs on the front lines of the fight for justice for marginalized identities during the uprisings of summer 2020. 

Jalen is a northwest-side native, raised by the blocks of Albany Park and the lively Humboldt Park streets. He carries the proud boisterous aura of where he comes from, the family lineage that trails behind him, and the legacy he wishes to create. In addition to his work as a poet and activist, he’s also an artist, producer, and musician, recording and performing as JaefKae. Now 22, he started making music at 14. He brings the same unstoppable energy to it that he does to everything he touches: he already has a catalog of more than 200 songs, and on January 17 he self-released his seventh album, Richcraft.

I’ve been there for much of his growth, and I’ve witnessed his craft blossom into what it is today. He’s a music-making machine: he records, mixes, and often produces his own material, and he’s even coined the name of a new genre. The sound he calls “kongri” is a futuristic fusion of American-style hip-hop, Afrobeats, dancehall, reggaeton, and other elements, with a heavy emphasis on percussion. 

JaefKae has a lengthy performance history too, which includes opening up for some of the biggest names in hip-hop: he read a poem at a Chicago Ideas Week event in fall 2015 where Common launched the anti-violence video “Put the Guns Down,” and he shared a bill with Pusha T and Nas at Wintrust Arena for a Red Bull Music Festival concert in November 2018. But while he’s brought his music to venues throughout the city, he’s received very little recognition for his efforts.

This conversation has been edited for length and clarity. 

Alycia Kamil: Did you know from a young age that you wanted to be an artist?

JaefKae: I’ve known since I came out of the womb that I was going to be a rapper. When I was six years old, I dressed up as a rapper for Halloween. When my mom took me out for trick-or-treating she would go, “How are you going to be a rapper, and you not rapping? You need to rap.” So at every house I would go up to, I would pull out a piece of paper and spit a verse. My rap name was J.J Jones at the time. People were like, “Wow, this kid is crazy—why is he on my porch rapping?” 

After that my family has always encouraged me to perform and make songs. My auntie would babysit me, and I would just make her listen to my raps. When my parents got home, she would be like, “Listen to this rap that Jalen made!” So from a young age, I knew what I was going to do. 

How much of an impact do your words on paper have on your words on the mike, and vice versa? And can we ever expect to see some more poetry from you? 

I have a plan to incorporate spoken word in my next album—a poem to introduce us to the album, and one to take us out. I also want to release more poetry; there’s so much in the vault that never made it out to the ether. The poetry on the page is the poetry on the mike. There’s the rhythm and the poetry. So I make them work in tandem all the time and become best friends. 

Do you remember how old you were when you made your first song that solidified your passion to become a professional musician?

It was called “Blow Your Mind.” I was going by the name Young Mind or Bright Young Mind at the time. It was over a beat that my dad made—he’s a real hip-hop head. He used to be a producer and an MC as well. I freestyled over that beat and made that song. I had a little bubble microphone—it was really cheap, but it got the job done. I didn’t have a compressor at the time, so I put a sock over it so my Ps and my Ss were filtered right.

Who are some of your musical influences?

Honestly, I’m feeling great. The albums beforehand all have central themes, but they were more of compilations, besides Out the Window, which I released in 2021. I’ve been working on the songs for Richcraft since last year. This is an album that I made for myself with different components, spiritual and metaphysical, combining them all so that listeners can relate to them. They might be going through a tough time, hear the song “Malanga,” and think, “Oh wow, anything I want, I get—that’s it.” Those words can empower them.

What’s the story behind the name Richcraft?

People say witchcraft is bad; people have so many ideas about it. There’s more to the root of it: people who are psychic, have visions, dreams, praying grandmothers, dance, are good at cooking, all these different things that go into metaphysical aspects. I think that’s where I got the name, from the metaphysical aspect of getting money, the “rich” and my craft. The craft of what I’m doing is rich. Not just “witchcraft” and “rich craft” together to rhyme, but the actual way that I’m putting together the songs—my discipline of making music—is rich.

Walk us through your songwriting process, from knowing which beat you’re going with to recording the song.

If I get a beat from one of my external producers, I listen to it for a while. Ride around listening to it, play it while I’m in the shower. Then I’m like, “OK, here it is. Here’s the song.” It just comes, and it comes naturally. 

No, I didn’t feel nervous. I was anticipating what the response would be because I haven’t done this in a long time. You know, I made my little albums when I was a freshman in high school, where I produced songs on those. I would go to the library and people would be like, “Oh no, this ain’t it, let me help you.” That’s actually how I got some of my first producers. 

Hearing my beats now, having other people hear them, I was excited. Even the songs I didn’t produce, I still mixed and mastered. I sat there when there was no song, just an empty Logic file and the metronome clicking. When it’s time and you need the world to hear the music that’s in your heart, then you put it out. You’re not scared.

You coined a new genre called “kongri.” What made you come to this discovery, and what are some songs on your recent release people can listen to in order to hear it? 

I’ve had this idea for about three years now. This is an exclusive about kongri, because nobody has come up with it but me! So congri is a dish from Cuba—it’s made around the Caribbean, but it originated in Cuba. It’s a mixture of black beans and white rice. Not a mixture like once both are finished you put it together, but you put everything in a pot and it’s mixed that way. 

The kongri aspect of what I’m doing is combining the elements of hip-hop with my Caribbean roots—along with keeping up with traditional styles of heavy bass, lyricism, Auto-Tune, rhyme, fast pace, and flow. Very heavy on the percussion as well on the album. You’ll hear that on “Malanga,” “Stealth,” “Lava,” “Blow It,” and even a bit on “Sometimes.” You’ll hear the cowbells, bongo, conga, and different percussions. It’s about paying homage and combining both sides of where I’m from.

You mentioned you want people to feel like they can manifest their biggest desires while listening to this album. And what are some specific songs on the album that utilize that manifesting power the most? 

When I say that [something is] going to happen, that’s because I’ve already envisioned it happening. That’s because I’ve done the work to make it happen. That’s because I’ve put other things in place to make it happen. “Malanga” is a perfect example of that. The spiritual work I do—I see, I listen, I have visions, I have dreams. 

For people who maybe don’t feel like they could have those same visions, “Malanga” is telling you that you can. “Anything I need, guaranteed / No wait for the ripe, my green yellow banana.” What that means is if I have the fruit already, and it’s the fruit of my labor, I don’t need to wait for it to ripen. I just need to open it, enjoy it, and go as far as I can. 

My artistry is my activism. After the summer of 2020, and realizing that the words I said could get me maliciously targeted and dragged and brutalized by the police, I realized that things are at much bigger stakes than they seem. It’s not important to always be in the cameras, at the actions with the megaphone. So now my music, I’m empowering the youth and the community with high vibrations and frequencies that are real. In my music, I don’t talk about killing people, shooting, or selling drugs—my music is meant to empower. I empower people through positivity, not just false positivity. I talk about real shit. 

At the same time, the way I go about it is the way I want people to go about it in their everyday life. All of these songs are still tied back to Black liberation, to the plight of Black people and African-descended people in America and the Caribbean. 

We can experience so much pain, strife, and erasure. What’s something you want to see for Chicago citizens? What are some words to give to up-and-coming artists and the youth of the city, being a young person yourself?

First one, Chicago citizens, we need a long life. The age disparity between the west side and the north side, the age disparity between Black people and white people in this city, is so much more than just something you see on paper. It’s in real life. 

Our babies are too young to be doing drugs. Too young to be worried about getting shot, and thinking they won’t be anything in life when they grow up. The pressure put on our young people, specifically Black people in this city, is you either make it out of the hood or you’re going to die. 

The last thing, as a young person who was born and raised in this city, I’m just very hopeful all of the time. I’m a very hard-praying person that things change for the better. We need to start putting each other on and stop putting each other down. 

You see a lot of rappers that claim to do anti-violence work but talk about killing people in their songs. Rappers who claim to fight for Black women but refer to them in derogatory terms, enabling abusers in the space. You cannot have both. So hold people accountable in your circle. When you see somebody who is struggling and putting in the work just like you did, make that connection. Build with each other and get in how you fit in. That’s my word on that.

Fifty years from now, what do you see yourself doing, and what would you have hoped to accomplish by then?

Fifty years from now? Damn! I want to have made all the music I wanted to make. I want to have made instrumental music. Yeah, I want to be able to play instruments, make jazz music, and stuff like that. I want to have my own record label and bring a new generation of artists who are like-minded and similar in style. 

I believe in the freedom of our people, the liberation of our people, the empowerment of our people, our traditions, and where we come from. I don’t believe our history started with war. So I want to work with people who can eventually get to that way of thinking. I want to have been able to help them navigate the music business and produce them. I want to sit back and let them do the real soul cleaning. Fifty years from now, I want to be somewhere where people can’t find me. I want to have a big happy family and be able to look back and say, “This was all worth it.”

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Valerie Solanas shot Andy Warhol on June 3, 1968, out of anger that he wouldn’t produce her play/manifesto Up Your Ass. Sirhan Sirhan shot Robert F. Kennedy on June 5, 1968, out of anger at the senator and presidential candidate’s support of military aid for Israel.

In Jean Stein’s 1982 oral history of Warhol’s Factory It Girl, Edie (as in Sedgwick), Barbara Rose, the wife of artist Frank Stella, recalls her husband’s prediction of the outcome of these two events: “Bobby’s going to die and Andy’s going to live. That’s the way the world is.” He was of course correct. (Rose also maintains that “the shooting was a suicide attempt; [Warhol] provoked it.”)

Andy Warhol in Iran Through 2/19: Wed 1 and 7:30 PM, Thu 7:30 PM, Fri 8 PM, Sat 2:30 and 8 PM, Sun 2:30 PM; open captions and ASL performance Fri 2/10 8 PM, open captions, audio description, and touch tour Sat 2/11 2:30 PM; North Shore Center for the Performing Arts, 9501 Skokie Blvd., Skokie, 847-673-6300, northlight.org, $30-$89 (students $15, subject to availability)

The messy nexus of celebrity, politics, and personal trauma forms the spine for Brent Askari’s speculative two-character play, Andy Warhol in Iran, now receiving a scintillating production at Northlight under BJ Jones’s direction. As Reader contributor Jack Helbig wrote about in our winter arts preview issue, Northlight’s staging is one of two current plays riffing off real events in Warhol’s life in the Chicago area right now—the other is Vince Melocchi’s Andy Warhol’s Tomato, featuring a young Warhol (or “Warhola,” as he was then still known) at Buffalo Theatre Ensemble at College of DuPage. 

The Warhol we meet in Askari’s play, set in 1976, is several years post-shooting. After not painting for a few years following the failed murder attempt, he’s back making very lucrative silkscreen portraits for celebrity clients, in part to support his magazine Interview. And he’s come to Iran to take Polaroids for such a portrait of Farah, Empress of Iran and third wife of Shah Mohammad Reza Pahlavi.

That part is all based on fact. The fiction comes in when Warhol (Rob Lindley) warily answers the door to room service (caviar is dirt cheap in Iran, so who can resist?), only to find himself facing a handgun and an angry revolutionary, Farhad (Hamid Dehghani), disguised as a waiter. From that point on, Askari’s play shares some glancing characteristics with Katori Hall’s 2009 play, The Mountaintop, in which Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. spends his last night on earth at the Lorraine Motel, where a maid turns out to be a harbinger of King’s fate.

Askari’s play is a highly watchable and often quite funny piece. Of course, we know Warhol didn’t die in Iran. Instead, he died at 58 of complications from gallbladder surgery in 1987—a surgery made complicated by the earlier damage caused by Solanas’s bullet. 

According to Taylor Mead, a writer and performer in Warhol’s films who was also quoted in Stein’s book: “Andy died when Valerie Solanas shot him. He’s just somebody to have at your dinner table now. Charming, but he’s the ghost of a genius. Just a walking ghost.”

That certainly feels like an apt description of Lindley’s Warhol at first. He enters through the audience, and tells us, “Oh hey, I don’t really like talking in public. I’d rather just sit and watch—like you.” Lindley, who rocks the artist’s famous silver wig (designed by Natalia Castilla) nails Warhol’s air of fey distraction, the affected manchild who, even after years as an art world superstar, seems starry-eyed himself about things like having dinner at the Ford White House (which is where he made the connection with the Shah and Empress in the first place).

He’s also about as apolitical an artist as you can find, telling his would-be captor, “I find politics abstract.” But that’s part of his appeal as a target for Farhad, who tells Warhol, “You’re the most decadent artist alive.” “Oh, thank you,” Warhol responds, without a speck of irony. There is irony, however, in the fact that Farhad’s group doesn’t really want much more out of the kidnapping attempt than publicity, which is something Warhol understands quite well. (And really, what was Solanas’s attack but a reaction to being denied a slice of Warholian superstardom?)

As is de rigueur in two-character, one-set plays of this nature, the point of the story is that both these men will reveal more to each other (and thus to the audience) than they intend, and may in fact find that they are less far apart psychologically and emotionally than they imagined.

Warhol and Farhad both carry literal scars of their trauma. Lindley’s Warhol pulls up his shirt to show the surgical map Solanas’s attack left on his torso (along with the girdle he has to wear to hold his battered internal organs in place), while Farhad’s back carries deep indentations and welts from the torture he endured at the hands of SAVAK, the Shah’s brutal secret police force. Despite Barbara Rose’s assertion to Stein, the Warhol we meet in Askari’s play seems not so much in love with death, but afraid of a painful life. (And given Solanas’s radical politics—she created the SCUM Manifesto, allegedly standing for “Society for Cutting Up Men”—it’s not surprising that Warhol would shy away even more from anything with a hint of political revolution.)

For Warhol, falling out of favor with the old Factory gang is also painful, as is being blamed for his muse Sedgwick’s death by overdose a few years earlier. Mike Tutaj’s projections cleverly mimic the repetitions of Warhol’s own prints at the top of Todd Rosenthal’s faded-but-luxurious hotel-room set. They also provide a handy way to give us a visual timeline of events and people in Warhol’s life, as well as images depicting the history of Iran. Yet paradoxically, Lindley’s Warhol also shuns the public eye, preferring to stay holed up in his room. (This too, according to Interview editor Bob Colacello, tracks with the real Warhol.)

Both men in Askari’s play also lost their fathers at a young age. It seems that art became Warhol’s surrogate daddy, while Farhad seeks to avenge the death of his own dad and free his country from the grip of the Shah’s dictatorship. That Iran would end up facing another kind of authoritarian regime after the 1979 revolution doesn’t go without mention, though Dehghani’s character breaks the fourth wall to deliver a quick and dirty history of the ways that his country has been subject to coups, invasion, and exploitation by Western powers and corporations (i.e., oil companies) for decades. (Askari’s own father is Iranian and Shiite Muslim, and his mother, as he told Helbig, “was an Episcopalian New England WASP. So growing up was with those two very distinct cultures, and I didn’t quite fit into either camp.”) 

Askari has fun inserting Warhol’s own observations on himself, such as “If you want to know about Andy Warhol, just look at the surface of my paintings and films and me, and there I am. There’s nothing behind it.” Yet as the 90-minute play progresses, both Lindley’s Warhol and Dehghani’s Farhad unpeel their layers. 

The latter has studied literature in the United States, which Warhol takes as a sign that he cares about art at least as much as politics. And he’s far from a cliche of revolutionary rage. Dehghani, who is a veteran of Iranian theater with an MFA in directing from Northwestern, shows us the fear and uncertainty driving Farhad. He doesn’t really want to hurt Warhol, but he knows that failure will make him a target of both the Shah’s police and his revolutionary cohorts. 

It’s clear that neither can feel fully alive without investment in something bigger than themselves: art (and, sure, the access to celebrity glamor it provides) in Warhol’s case, and the quest for justice in Farhad’s. These are literally the only things keeping them going in the face of so much emptiness and despair and loss around them.

Farhad quotes T.S. Eliot’s “The Hollow Men,” but Andy Warhol in Iran ends neither with a bang nor a whimper. Instead, the image of Mahsa Amini, the 22-year-old Iranian woman who died under suspicious circumstances in September after being arrested by the “morality police,” takes over at the end of the play. (In his program bio, Dehghani dedicates his performance to “the first female-led revolution in history.”) It’s a sobering way to close out a play about two people who start out invested in the power of fame to change their worlds, yet find a fleeting moment of quiet empathy through surprisingly similar personal circumstances.

Read More

Valerie Solanas shot Andy Warhol on June 3, 1968, out of anger that he wouldn’t produce her play/manifesto Up Your Ass. Sirhan Sirhan shot Robert F. Kennedy on June 5, 1968, out of anger at the senator and presidential candidate’s support of military aid for Israel.

In Jean Stein’s 1982 oral history of Warhol’s Factory It Girl, Edie (as in Sedgwick), Barbara Rose, the wife of artist Frank Stella, recalls her husband’s prediction of the outcome of these two events: “Bobby’s going to die and Andy’s going to live. That’s the way the world is.” He was of course correct. (Rose also maintains that “the shooting was a suicide attempt; [Warhol] provoked it.”)

Andy Warhol in Iran Through 2/19: Wed 1 and 7:30 PM, Thu 7:30 PM, Fri 8 PM, Sat 2:30 and 8 PM, Sun 2:30 PM; open captions and ASL performance Fri 2/10 8 PM, open captions, audio description, and touch tour Sat 2/11 2:30 PM; North Shore Center for the Performing Arts, 9501 Skokie Blvd., Skokie, 847-673-6300, northlight.org, $30-$89 (students $15, subject to availability)

The messy nexus of celebrity, politics, and personal trauma forms the spine for Brent Askari’s speculative two-character play, Andy Warhol in Iran, now receiving a scintillating production at Northlight under BJ Jones’s direction. As Reader contributor Jack Helbig wrote about in our winter arts preview issue, Northlight’s staging is one of two current plays riffing off real events in Warhol’s life in the Chicago area right now—the other is Vince Melocchi’s Andy Warhol’s Tomato, featuring a young Warhol (or “Warhola,” as he was then still known) at Buffalo Theatre Ensemble at College of DuPage. 

The Warhol we meet in Askari’s play, set in 1976, is several years post-shooting. After not painting for a few years following the failed murder attempt, he’s back making very lucrative silkscreen portraits for celebrity clients, in part to support his magazine Interview. And he’s come to Iran to take Polaroids for such a portrait of Farah, Empress of Iran and third wife of Shah Mohammad Reza Pahlavi.

That part is all based on fact. The fiction comes in when Warhol (Rob Lindley) warily answers the door to room service (caviar is dirt cheap in Iran, so who can resist?), only to find himself facing a handgun and an angry revolutionary, Farhad (Hamid Dehghani), disguised as a waiter. From that point on, Askari’s play shares some glancing characteristics with Katori Hall’s 2009 play, The Mountaintop, in which Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. spends his last night on earth at the Lorraine Motel, where a maid turns out to be a harbinger of King’s fate.

Askari’s play is a highly watchable and often quite funny piece. Of course, we know Warhol didn’t die in Iran. Instead, he died at 58 of complications from gallbladder surgery in 1987—a surgery made complicated by the earlier damage caused by Solanas’s bullet. 

According to Taylor Mead, a writer and performer in Warhol’s films who was also quoted in Stein’s book: “Andy died when Valerie Solanas shot him. He’s just somebody to have at your dinner table now. Charming, but he’s the ghost of a genius. Just a walking ghost.”

That certainly feels like an apt description of Lindley’s Warhol at first. He enters through the audience, and tells us, “Oh hey, I don’t really like talking in public. I’d rather just sit and watch—like you.” Lindley, who rocks the artist’s famous silver wig (designed by Natalia Castilla) nails Warhol’s air of fey distraction, the affected manchild who, even after years as an art world superstar, seems starry-eyed himself about things like having dinner at the Ford White House (which is where he made the connection with the Shah and Empress in the first place).

He’s also about as apolitical an artist as you can find, telling his would-be captor, “I find politics abstract.” But that’s part of his appeal as a target for Farhad, who tells Warhol, “You’re the most decadent artist alive.” “Oh, thank you,” Warhol responds, without a speck of irony. There is irony, however, in the fact that Farhad’s group doesn’t really want much more out of the kidnapping attempt than publicity, which is something Warhol understands quite well. (And really, what was Solanas’s attack but a reaction to being denied a slice of Warholian superstardom?)

As is de rigueur in two-character, one-set plays of this nature, the point of the story is that both these men will reveal more to each other (and thus to the audience) than they intend, and may in fact find that they are less far apart psychologically and emotionally than they imagined.

Warhol and Farhad both carry literal scars of their trauma. Lindley’s Warhol pulls up his shirt to show the surgical map Solanas’s attack left on his torso (along with the girdle he has to wear to hold his battered internal organs in place), while Farhad’s back carries deep indentations and welts from the torture he endured at the hands of SAVAK, the Shah’s brutal secret police force. Despite Barbara Rose’s assertion to Stein, the Warhol we meet in Askari’s play seems not so much in love with death, but afraid of a painful life. (And given Solanas’s radical politics—she created the SCUM Manifesto, allegedly standing for “Society for Cutting Up Men”—it’s not surprising that Warhol would shy away even more from anything with a hint of political revolution.)

For Warhol, falling out of favor with the old Factory gang is also painful, as is being blamed for his muse Sedgwick’s death by overdose a few years earlier. Mike Tutaj’s projections cleverly mimic the repetitions of Warhol’s own prints at the top of Todd Rosenthal’s faded-but-luxurious hotel-room set. They also provide a handy way to give us a visual timeline of events and people in Warhol’s life, as well as images depicting the history of Iran. Yet paradoxically, Lindley’s Warhol also shuns the public eye, preferring to stay holed up in his room. (This too, according to Interview editor Bob Colacello, tracks with the real Warhol.)

Both men in Askari’s play also lost their fathers at a young age. It seems that art became Warhol’s surrogate daddy, while Farhad seeks to avenge the death of his own dad and free his country from the grip of the Shah’s dictatorship. That Iran would end up facing another kind of authoritarian regime after the 1979 revolution doesn’t go without mention, though Dehghani’s character breaks the fourth wall to deliver a quick and dirty history of the ways that his country has been subject to coups, invasion, and exploitation by Western powers and corporations (i.e., oil companies) for decades. (Askari’s own father is Iranian and Shiite Muslim, and his mother, as he told Helbig, “was an Episcopalian New England WASP. So growing up was with those two very distinct cultures, and I didn’t quite fit into either camp.”) 

Askari has fun inserting Warhol’s own observations on himself, such as “If you want to know about Andy Warhol, just look at the surface of my paintings and films and me, and there I am. There’s nothing behind it.” Yet as the 90-minute play progresses, both Lindley’s Warhol and Dehghani’s Farhad unpeel their layers. 

The latter has studied literature in the United States, which Warhol takes as a sign that he cares about art at least as much as politics. And he’s far from a cliche of revolutionary rage. Dehghani, who is a veteran of Iranian theater with an MFA in directing from Northwestern, shows us the fear and uncertainty driving Farhad. He doesn’t really want to hurt Warhol, but he knows that failure will make him a target of both the Shah’s police and his revolutionary cohorts. 

It’s clear that neither can feel fully alive without investment in something bigger than themselves: art (and, sure, the access to celebrity glamor it provides) in Warhol’s case, and the quest for justice in Farhad’s. These are literally the only things keeping them going in the face of so much emptiness and despair and loss around them.

Farhad quotes T.S. Eliot’s “The Hollow Men,” but Andy Warhol in Iran ends neither with a bang nor a whimper. Instead, the image of Mahsa Amini, the 22-year-old Iranian woman who died under suspicious circumstances in September after being arrested by the “morality police,” takes over at the end of the play. (In his program bio, Dehghani dedicates his performance to “the first female-led revolution in history.”) It’s a sobering way to close out a play about two people who start out invested in the power of fame to change their worlds, yet find a fleeting moment of quiet empathy through surprisingly similar personal circumstances.

Read More

In her first campaign for mayor, Lori Lightfoot was something of a cipher, someone Chicagoans could project any number of feelings or impressions upon. 

She was an experienced lawyer who had undertaken a few public-facing roles. She tapped into popular discontent with the politicians running against her and won in a landslide.

Lightfoot is more animated on the stump talking about neighborhood investments than she is about any other issue, even if, as the Tribune reported, many of the largest initiatives of her signature Invest South/West initiative were planned after she took office.

And it is meaningful and important that Chicago elected a gay Black woman to lead its government after decades of homophobic, racist, and chauvinistic politics. But her tendency to repeatedly say things that simultaneously alienate both sides of an issue, compounded by the often-displayed harshness of her personality, her inexperience managing the staff and bureaucracy that manage the nation’s third-largest city, and the inescapable difficulty in connecting with the public have made her reelection anything but certain. 

Despite how removed elected officials are from people’s daily lives, Lightfoot is no longer a cipher. Chicago will soon see if voters give her another term.

The Reader interviewed Lightfoot on Jan. 13, after she hosted an interfaith prayer breakfast honoring Martin Luther King Jr. 

Gettinger: You faced an unprecedented confluence of crises in your first term: the pandemic, the George Floyd uprising, a restive City Council, just to name a few. How do you navigate that as a new mayor?

Lightfoot: Very carefully. Look, it has been unprecedented. We’ve had a lot of headwinds, some of which were clearly unexpected and beyond our control, top among them a global pandemic that turned everything that we understood as our role upside-down. There’s no playbook for that.

Luckily, we have a very well-prepared Department of Public Health. Luckily we built a very good, strong team—not just subject matter experts but people who are truly committed to service. And we have grown together. We as a mayor’s office, we as a city government, but we as a city—we’ve been through life together. Every facet of it in these past four years.

My primary focus in the early days of the pandemic was really focused on three big buckets. One was to make sure that our healthcare system didn’t buckle, because at that time we were seeing what was happening in China and other parts of Asia. We were seeing what was happening on the West Coast and starting to see what was happening in New York and the surrounding area. 

So I was very concerned that we did not have a health care system that buckled and was not able to manage itself to manage the patients who were in need, because that was one of the dire predictions that was resonating across the media in that early time. So the health care system and making sure that that didn’t happen was very much on my mind. And not surprisingly, another area of focus was health care workers and first responders. Your health care system is going to fail if the workers are not safe and protected. So we did a lot in those early days to make sure that we were shoring up those vital essential workers: first responders, police, fire, EMTs. That was also really important. 

And then also in our city, making sure that our most vulnerable residents: our seniors, our homeless, the people who were not connected to health care—those most vulnerable residents were the worry of many of us, me included, and making sure that we were doing everything that we could right away to reach out to them. That’s why we decompressed homeless shelters. That’s why we worked hand in hand with Sheriff Dart to ensure the Cook County Jail didn’t become a leading COVID hotspot. 

And then fanning out from there, as we started seeing data from testing rolling in and understanding who was getting sick, who was dying—I’ll never forget for the rest of my life—in early April learning about the fact that Black people in this city were dying at seven times the rate of every other demographic. That was the ultimate call to action. 

The election of a Black lesbian was historic, and you were elected with a lot of support from the LGBTQ community. Can you talk about the policies you’ve enacted to make Chicago more welcoming to the LGBTQ community?

Well first of all, I think that it’s important that I lead by example and that I’m unapologetic. You know well that over the arc of our history there have been prominent leaders from our community who never say the words, “I am gay.” That’s not me. And so I think that part of it is really important.

I cannot tell you the number of parents who come to me, usually pulling me aside and whispering in my ear, “My son/my daughter has come out. We admire you.” Because, look, I think a lot of straight parents who didn’t have that vision for their child, didn’t know that that was a possibility. When they learn—even if they’re accepting—they’re worried about: “What kind of life is my child going to have? Are they going to be happy? Are they going to be able to have a family? Will they be accepted? Will they have the kind of life that I envisioned for them?’”

And what I hope is, through me as a role model, that I’m able to show, “Yes, yes yes”—the answer to all those questions. Vanquish those fears, because there is, in this moment in our time, even as we’re in this tough time—and I don’t underestimate that, for our community that is under siege, particularly our trans brothers and sisters—that those parents who are out there and particularly our children see that there are people like me who’ve fought that fight, come out on the other side of it, and are better for it, frankly. And that they can now walk in the path that was blazed for me and that I am hopefully blazing for them.

In your 2018 framework for LGBTQ Chicago, there was a promise or a proposal of shelters for LGBTQ kids in the city. That hasn’t happened. What have you done to address homeless LGBTQ youth?

I think the thing that we have done is make sure that we are supporting those existing places, both with beds but, importantly, programming in places of connection. Because when I was campaigning back in 2018 for example, I went to a shelter up on the north side, just north of Addison on Ashland, and remember thinking, “These folks need help and resources.” And what I heard from the people who ran the shelter and employees is that young people, and particularly young people of color, were coming from all over the city because those resources weren’t there.

Now I’m not going to tell you we’ve done everything yet. We haven’t. But we have made sure that resources are flowing, that supports are there, even though this is a very tough time. I’m very painfully aware that a certain percentage of the people who are living on the street are the people from my community, LGBTQ youth, who left their homes or were thrown out of their home because they sought to live their authentic life. I think there’s still a lot more work that we must do, and I am 100 percent committed to doing it.

Particularly funding—I think of it as earmarks for transgender Chicagoans and that kind of stuff. What is your administration doing to address the high rates of unemployment, off-market employment, homelessness—particularly for trans people in Chicago. What are you guys doing to invest in that community?

First and foremost, we have to start with a values statement. We have to recognize and say, “Our trans brothers and sisters deserve the same access to the benefits of this city as everyone else.” The values statement is critically important, then we have to back it up with real, concrete, tangible actions. Again, making sure that, for example, on my advisory committee, that we have members of the trans community that are front and center.

Who’s on it?

It’s a pretty diverse group, and they’re not shy. But making sure that I’m hearing directly from them about the continuing challenge of their community. I’m, obviously, a lesbian, but I’m not a trans woman or man, and I don’t get to pretend that I have captured and understand fully the unique challenges that they face on a day-to-day basis. Making sure that I am present in those communities and that people see me with my trans brothers and sisters. 

And then again, it’s about putting your money where your mouth is, making sure that we are putting money into resources. It’s also about raising the necessity with other institutions within city government who need to be there to support the trans community, notably the police department. We can’t live in a world where trans lives don’t matter. We can’t live in a world where trans women in particular are getting assaulted and murdered and those cases are falling by the wayside. 

One of the things I’m proudest of is increasing the number of liaisons from the police department to the LGBTQ+ community and making sure that we are focused on supporting trans lives. We have a member of our community who is a senior leader in the police department in a community policing role. So making sure that our presence is noted, that this is a priority for me, and that we are holding ourselves, each and every department, accountable to be responsive to the needs of that and other vulnerable communities in our city.

Do you think the relationship between you and the Chicago Teachers Union can be repaired? 

If I see, and they articulate, a commitment to putting our children first, a commitment to respecting the voices of parents as the first principles, the core principles around which they rally, then absolutely. I think there’s ample opportunity for us to reach common ground because that’s where I’m at. That’s where I’ve always been at. Our kids come first. Creating safe, nurturing environments for them has to be the primary work that we’re about. And we would love the partnership of the CTU, but I think we’re, right now, on different planets.

Another historic first is the fact that civilians will be elected to police district councils. How do you intend to engage with the Community Commission for Public Safety and Accountability and the district councilors to improve public safety, both in terms of crime and police misconduct?

I think that their primary focus should be, as embedded in the ordinance, to help decipher the various levers of accountability and to be a voice for community members who need constitutional policing. An emphasis on “constitutional,” because they need a police department that sees them and respects them. They need a police department that understands the most-important tool that officers have is being a champion of a community. And I think, to me, that’s got to be the primary focus and work of the commission. 

And I’ve said it to the interim group of commissioners. I’m going to say it again, over and over again, because I believe that, to me, is their highest calling.

How can the city address homelessness and ensure we’re comprehensively and sustainably getting people the homes they need to survive and thrive?

I think we have laid the groundwork for that in these first four years. Our relentless work on closing the gap in affordable units across our city is critically important, and that goes to address the issue. I think our seven-fold increase in the amount of services that are now available to residents of our city at no cost is a part of it. I think our monumental investments in substance abuse addiction treatments are a big part of it. Because you know as well as I do, people are on the street for a variety of reasons. Some of it’s financial, some of it’s mental health, some of it’s substance abuse, and sometimes it’s all of the above. 

So we’ve done, I think, important work and brought the biggest investments in the city’s history, but we know that there’s more work to do, and this is a very complicated problem. We are fortunate that we don’t see the proliferation of homeless people on our streets like we see in other cities across the country, particularly on the West Coast and the Northwest Coast, despite sometimes the hyperbolic language that we hear from some. 

But we got a challenge, and I firmly believe, particularly as we sit here in January—it’s not as cold as it usually is this time of year, but none of God’s children should be living on the streets in cold weather, hot weather, or in any weather. It’s not a life that supports them in what I hope are pursuits to live out their best lives and to really be a part of the fabric of our city. It pains me when I go by and see the encampments. It pains me when I see the way in which people are suffering. 

But it’s not just about “do I have enough units?” It’s about making sure that we’re forming a relationship with the people, that we have the wraparound services to help them see the virtue in moving through the various stages of housing to get to a place of independent living.

In the next four years, what will you do to improve CTA reliability, frequency, safety, and comfort?

The reason that we’ve made progress and we’ve seen the numbers of violent incidents of crime go down in the last few months of 2022 was a number of things that we put in place. Number one is that we sat and listened to the frontline workers: the bus drivers, the people who work in the rail section of CTA. And they told us what they felt like they needed to feel safe. That’s important. In the dark old days of the summer of 2020 when we heard from Amalgamated Transit Union members: “We don’t feel safe. We don’t want to come to work. We don’t feel like we’re going to be protected.” We have to be constantly listening and engaging with them because the people who are closest to the challenges are closest to the solutions.

The other reason we made progress is because what we heard from those workers, from riders, is we want more police on the CTA. We want uniformed officers to be present. Heard it loud and clear. We’re delivering that. 

The CTA also, frankly, has to step up its game, and it has. You can’t just issue rider alerts; you’ve got to go out to communities. You also have to listen. You’ve got to be part of the solution. You’ve got to bring the non-uniformed security personnel. And you’ve got to keep being diligent all the time.

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