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Sugar daddy sites have risen in popularity over the last several years as society becomes more comfortable with unconventional relationships. As more people seek either companionship or financial security, sugar arrangements have become very attractive.

Unfortunately, the popularity of sugar relationships has caused an influx of sugar dating sites to pop up. Some sites do their part in vetting the members, but others invite scammers, leeches, flakes, and fakes.

We’ve done the leg work for you and have found the best sugar daddy sites where a sugar daddy can meet a sugar baby and vice versa. These sites strike the delicate balance between safety and fun. We review what’s best about a site for daddies and what’s best for babies.

These are our brand new rankings for 2023.

The Best Sugar Daddy Sites and Apps in 2023

RankSiteBest For1.SugarDaddy.comBest overall sugar daddy site2.Secret BenefitsBest mix of daddies and babies3.Our SecretBest for confidentiality4.SugarDaddyMeetVerified income feature5.SugarDaddyForMeQuickest way to find an arrangement6.Ashley MadisonJudgement free sugar dating site7.What’s Your PriceBest for women to set their own price8.Sugar SearchBest database of local sugar daddies9.R/SugarBabyFree way to find sugar babies10.Elite SinglesMeet intellectual sugar babies and daddies11.Established MenBest for daddies seeking a long term arrangement12.RichMeetBeautifulMost secure and discreet site13.Miss TravelBest for sugar babies who like to travel14.Wealthy MenMost straightforward sugar dating site15.AgeMatchFind younger women16.SudyBest sugar dating app17.SugarBookBest sugar app for babies

We’ll do a deep dive on our top 5 sites and shorter reviews for the rest.

1. SugarDaddy.com – Best overall site

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Reply rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

Sugardaddy.com is one of the most reliable sugar daddy sites around and has been around for quite some time. The site is hailed as one of the greats because it verifies all of its members (daddies and babies) and there are almost 10 million members and counting. At any given time, the site is active with several thousands of users and nearly 2/3rds are babies looking for someone to take care of them.

Free members can actually enjoy tons of features (like sending kisses, using the advanced search feature, and responding to paying members), but a membership is well worth it and pretty affordable compared to its competitors. It’s a credit-based system and costs around a quarter per credit. Privacy is a top priority on Sugardaddy.com, making it easy to discreetly enter into relationships.

What it’s like for daddies:

70% of the users on sugardaddy.com are babies looking to be spoiled. With millions of users, this makes being a daddy on the site extremely easy and entertaining. Credits can be used to get in touch with the babies and they won’t cost you much. Because privacy is taken so seriously on this website, there’s no need to fear your identity being revealed. Furthermore, daddies can rest easy knowing they won’t be scammed by any members given that they are all verified.

What it’s like for babies:

Sugar babies tend to love the ease of this site and how slick it is. Other sugar baby sites tend to look shady or seedy, but sugardaddy.com is slick and modern. It makes it easy to layout exactly what you’re looking for in a daddy. One drawback is the fact that most of the users are babies, so there’s some stiff competition out there. But with millions of daddies online searching, finding the right one shouldn’t be too difficult.

Membership TypePriceIntro$59.00 (100 credits)Elite$169.00 (500 credits)Best Value$289.00 (1,000 credits)

Check out our full SugarDaddy.com review for more information.

2.  Secret Benefits – Best gender ratio

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★Reply rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★★

SecretBenefits.com is one of the most popular and stylish sugar daddy dating websites. It has a modern and fresh look along with an easy-to-use interface which has encouraged millions of attractive and wealthy individuals to join and search for a positive sugar dating experience on the site. Due to its popularity and stellar reputation among the site’s members, there is a constant flow of new hopeful sugar daddies and sugar babies as well as a very active member base.

Anyone can signup, create a profile, and search for free. Sugar babies can enjoy the site and its features for free. If a sugar daddy finds a sugar baby of interest, they need to purchase credits to open a chat with them. There should be no lack of potential candidates among the millions of members as the gender ratio is about 50/50.

What it’s like for daddies:

Signing up as a sugar daddy is very fast and painless. You can also choose to start a very basic profile to search for potential sugar babies in your area before committing too much time or money. Another great feature if you’re looking for a discreet relationship is you can hide your profile at any time as well as go invisible for 24 hours and browse profiles in secret. These features help maintain your privacy while discreetly allowing you to find your perfect sugar baby.

What it’s like for babies:

Sugar babies love using Secret Benefits not only because it’s free, but also because the site’s outstanding support team keeps the riffraff out which provides a safe platform full of serious and active sugar daddies that are not looking to waste anyone’s time. Getting your profile verified via a short intro video also encourages daddies to reach out once they see that you are the real deal. The success rates for legit, happy, and ongoing sugar daddy relationships are extremely high on SecretBenefits.com, so it’s really just about getting signed up and putting yourself out there to find exactly the type of daddy you’re looking for.

Membership TypePriceIntro$59.00 (100 credits)Elite$169.00 (500 credits)Best Value$289.00 (1,000 credits)

3.  Our Secret – Best for confidential sugar dating

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Reply rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

Whether you are in a current relationship, a celebrity, or simply a private person that would rather not have your friends or colleagues discover you on a dating site, you might want to consider signing up to the most discreet site on our list, OurSecret.com. Although the site is fairly new, they’ve done a great job delivering exactly what private people are looking for in an effective dating site.

Our Secret has hundreds of thousands of members looking to find their ideal secret relationship with about 50% of its members in the US. The goal of the site is to streamline the online dating process by providing easy signup and profile creation, precise search filters, and an excellent private chat function that also allows members to share additional photos with each other.

There is a free feature, but the options are very limited. You can only browse profiles. If you’d like to communicate, you need to buy credits.

Our Secret, like the previous two sites, operates on a credit system. Each action you take costs a certain amount of credits. It’s not a rip-off, in fact it’s the same price as SugarDaddy.com and Secret Benefits. We suspect the similar packages mean the sites are operated by sister companies or one parent company, which is typical in the dating space.

What it’s like for daddies:

The discreet sugar daddy will enjoy many of the features that mainstream popular dating sites provide without all of the potential public overexposure. Sugar daddies have the option of creating a basic profile, searching for their potential new secret matches in an incognito mode, as well as hiding their photos in secret albums for choice matches eyes only. All daddies should be pleased to know that creating a profile and searching for matches is totally free. Only if you find someone of interest will you need to purchase credits in order to open a chat, which will remain open and unlimited once the chat is opened. There are no monthly fees so you can come and go as you please as well as hide your profile from sugar babies in search if you find someone you like and want to pursue.

What it’s like for babies:

OurSecret.com understands that many sugar babies are active university students and social media influencers and might not want to be broadcasting their dating profiles to the masses on frequented sites such as Tinder. With this need for privacy and discretion by their sugar baby members, Our Secret has made it easy to streamline the online dating process and help you find exactly the kind of sugar daddy relationship you’re looking for without all the fuss. Using all of the site’s features is totally free to sugar babies. Getting started and adding photos and videos of yourself is a cinch and can also be kept in a private album only available to those daddies that you give permission to, and with the majority of daddies on the site seeking a discreet arrangement, keeping your relationship on the down-low should never be an issue.

Membership TypePriceIntro$59.00 (100 credits)Elite$169.00 (500 credits)Best Value$289.00 (1,000 credits)

4.  SugarDaddyMeet – For rich men who can spoil

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Reply rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

SugarDaddyMeet, one of the original sugar dating sites, doesn’t sugarcoat its true intentions. According to the site, it’s only available to men who live in the 20 richest countries in the world. By attracting affluent men, it also attracts beautiful young women. Verifying income and wealth are two major features on SugarDaddyMeet, making it one of the best sugar dating sites for the ladies.

Like all the sites we review, the real way to experience this site is paying for an introductory membership. Once you do, it’s cheeky communication options, like winking and sparking (swiping), become available.

With more than 5 million members, SugarDaddyMeet is a wonderful option for babies and daddies who want to try something outside the SugarDaddy.com-Secret Benefits-Our Secret family of sites.

What it’s like for daddies:

For one, you’ll need to actually be rich to get approved for SugarDaddyMeet. Those who meet the requirements are introduced to a world of beautiful females. The platform itself feels like other social media sites that you may already be familiar with. It’s very casual and generally a breeze finding a mutually beneficial arrangement. Once a daddy pays, he can send gifts and video chat with babies.

What it’s like for the babies:

This site has plenty of features that make women feel safe using it. You can verify income and let the site know what you’re looking for in a sugar daddy. Using a handy algorithm, it’ll match you up based on your preferences. A free membership is all you’ll need!

Membership LengthPrice1 month$50.003 months$90.00 ($30/month)6 months$144.00 ($24/month)

5.  SugarDaddyForMe – Speedy matching process

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Reply rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

This chic site is slick in design and even better in matching capabilities. It doesn’t hide the fact that it’s a tried and true sugar daddy site designed for arrangements. This is made clear for both the women and the men who join SugarDaddyForMe.

What it’s like for daddies:

You should know first that the payment structure is unique. The membership tiers are based on how much time you want to buy rather than what you have access to. SugarDaddyForMe will want to verify your income, but there’s not much to it after that. You’re essentially brought into the SugarDaddyForMe world within minutes, making this platform one of the fastest ways to find a date.

What it’s like for babies:

This is a free sugar daddy site for you! Signing up takes only minutes and you’ll be glad to know that SugarDaddyForMe will want to know what your ideal arrangement would be. This can all be altered later if you change your mind.

Membership TypePriceBronze$39.95/monthSilver$54.90/monthGold$59.90/month

6.  Ashley Madison – Find a casual companion

Ashley Madison is the site that people hate admitting they love. Sure, it’s received some shady press over the years, but it works marvelously. Though linked to affairs, it’s a perfect site for those in open-relationships to find fun arrangements with other folks. It’s a completely open-minded and judgment-free space for people to explore sensual relationships.

What it’s like for daddies:

Ashley Madison can be used as a sugar site. It follows a credit-based payment structure that allows men to communicate with women. There’s nothing on Ashley Madison to weed out the sugar babies from the rest of them, so you’ll need to use the age preference feature to find the ladies and chat to see if they are interested. Women are free to join, making it a great breeding ground for relationships with younger college-age women.

What it’s like for babies:

Men on Ashley Madison are usually looking for excitement, and sugar babies know how to have fun. There are a lot of wealthy men looking for younger women on the site, so if you specify that you are looking to set up an arrangement, you’ll have no problem finding a handsome catch.

Want even more about Ashley Madison? Check out our full review.

7.  What’s Your Price – Bid on dates

On many sugar sites, the idea of an arrangement is implied but not always enforced. In other words, SDs don’t feel like spending or SBs ask for too much. On What’s Your Price, the intention is clear. It’s about an agreement or arrangement that works for both parties. What’s Your Price will set everyone up with their ideal situation so that the minutiae of finances don’t cloud the fun! And it was created by the established folks behind Seeking, so you know it’s legit.

What it’s like for daddies:

You will feel like you are shopping for gorgeous women through an online marketplace. We hate to boil it down to an online shopping experience, but that’s kind of how it works! You will be shown tons of ladies who have a price in mind. Then, you can bid on anyone you find attractive or worth your time. You can also send virtual gifts and make bids as low as $10. You don’t have to be “wealthy” to join.

What it’s like for the babies:

What’s Your Price puts you in total control, which is a nice alternative to the chaotic free-for-all approach that other sites have. The only negative to What’s Your Price is that there is a lot of competition. There are 3 million members and counting, which means that your ad is going to have to be competitive.

8.  Sugar Search – Check out “Members Currently Online” before chatting to avoid flakes

It’s just as it sounds. Sugar Search is an easy to use search engine to find a local sugar daddy.

Sugar Search only operates in a few cities. Sorry babies and daddies, if you’re not in NYC, Chicago, Los Angeles, Houston, Phoenix, San Antonio, or Philadelphia, this isn’t the site for you.

Sugar Search goes to admirable lengths to ensure all the accounts are legit. Some slip through the cracks, but the moderation team is pretty on top of it.

Best of all, the site has great customer service and makes it easy to cancel a membership if you’re over it.

What it’s like for daddies:

It’s a super simple sign up process for daddies. Fill in a few fields, verify some personal info, and you’re set. Sugar Search has a great daddy to baby ratio, so it shouldn’t be too hard to meet a baby. The chat feature is slick and easy to use. If you want your profile to appear toward the top of search results, opt for the Diamond Membership. It really does increase the amount and quality of matches.

What it’s like for the babies:

Babies, you won’t be disappointed. Sugar Search is the ultimate sugar daddy search tool if you’re in one of their cities. Sugar Search requires daddies to verify their personal information, so you won’t encounter too many fraudulent accounts. Do your own due diligence by chatting with a prospective daddy first. The sheer volume of options means you’ll likely connect with someone shortly after you sign up.

9.  Reddit (r/SugarBaby) – Top sugar forum

Reddit is a site that gets a ton of volume. As a general forum for a huge range of topics, people come to Reddit to get information about virtually anything you can think of. It works for sugaring, too, on the subreddits that are related to the subject. If you don’t already know, a subreddit is a specific message board. For the best sugar daddy action, visit the /r/SugarBaby board. We should also warn you that sexy photos flood the page!

What it’s like for daddies:

This subreddit has over 80K users, making it more intimate than most but still giving you a ton of options. The best part is that it’s one of the only free sugar daddy sites on this list. Men aren’t allowed to post, but you can browse through the photos and proposals of the women on the page.

What it’s like for the babies:

You can post on this forum photos and a description of your ideal relationship. If a guy sees you on the page and is interested in pursuing you, he will direct message you through the platform! To post, you will need to go through a verification process, but it’s not complicated.

10.  Elite Singles – Dating site for educated daddies and babies

Elite Singles was not designed specifically for sugaring. It’s a premium dating site that caters toward educated and successful individuals looking for someone who is like-minded. As a baby, you should be seeking something serious when you join Elite Singles. This site is made for real relationships, not a one-time hookup. A majority of the people on this site are college-educated, regardless of age, so that’s another thing to keep in mind.

What it’s like for daddies:

Elite Singles is ideal for the man (or woman) who is interested in meeting an intelligent, independent person to shower with affection or anything else. One of the best things about Elite Singles is that nobody is flakey. People are genuinely searching for their other half and they aren’t greedy for cash because they are successful themselves.

What it’s like for the babies:

This is an app best suited for the baby who isn’t just in this for the money. You don’t need to be wildly successful to get on Elite Singles, but you should have a semblance of independence and perhaps a college degree (or working towards one). This isn’t the quickest way to find a sugar daddy, but it is a place where you’ll meet successful people.

11.  Established Men – Great for long-term sugar dating

If you couldn’t gather from the name, Established Men is a dating site created for successful men looking for a relationship. Men who are established and wealthy often don’t find much time to date around. This site makes finding a partner very simple. It’s not a hookup site but rather a place that caters directly to wealthy guys who want a relationship. Though not exclusively for sugar relationships, women aren’t charged for a membership, making it feel like a free sugar daddy site for them.

What it’s like for daddies:

Established Men is not a free sugar dating site for men, but that shouldn’t be a problem if you are, in fact, established. Through the platform, you are able to send gifts and interact with the beautiful ladies that this website attracts. There are new members daily, so you’ll never run out of options!

What it’s like for babies:

Step into the world of Established Men. These are individuals who know their worth, so they might be tough to please. What’s nice about the site is that these guys aren’t expecting you to come to them with a set arrangement. They just want to spoil someone special with bags, shoes, and more.

12.  RichMeetBeautiful – Encrypted sugar daddy site

Contrary to popular belief, RichMeetBeautiful is not just for rich men. Anyone who is reasonably well off can still engage with beautiful men and women through the platform. It’s also one of the most secure sugar dating sites because it uses encryption security.

What it’s like for daddies:

RichMeetBeautiful claims to be rich in several ways: experience, romance, passion, style, and so on. It also explicitly says “no sugar dating” on the homepage. You’re probably asking yourself why it even made the list. It’s a site for successful individuals to meet one another through a scientific matchmaking algorithm. If you want to find a younger woman to spoil, you will absolutely be able to.

What it’s like for babies:

RichMeetsBeautiful is not explicitly for sugar dating. It is a site where you can converse with men who enjoy spoiling their significant others. It’s built for long-lasting relationships, so be prepared to meet people who want to find real love.

13.  Miss Travel – Best for the adventurous

Miss Travel puts an exciting spin on sugar dating. Rather than finding a companion locally, this site encourages people to find partners from places they’d love to travel to! It adds a whole new element to the fun of sugar dating, and women can join this site for free.

What it’s like for daddies:

SDs in open relationships or looking for fun outside of a relationship love to use this site while they travel for business. However, it’s also convenient for men who want foreign women to come to them. There are a ton of beautiful women who use Miss Travel because they are looking for an adventure with a well-to-do man.

What it’s like for babies:

Ever wanted to travel the world? This is one of the best ways to make that happen. The daddy you find will likely pay for the entire trip. There’s also an exciting “Create a Trip” feature that allows you to plan a wonderful vacation right there on the site.

14.  Wealthy Men – A no-frills approach to sugaring

Wealthy Men is the most straightforward sugar daddy website available to users, and it’s very reliable too. It promises young women that they will meet the wealthy man of their dreams. And, it has a guarantee for its paid members that they’ll find someone in three months. Members can rest assured that Wealthy Men will absolutely work for them.

What it’s like for daddies:

We’ll be honest: Wealthy Men does not make it that easy on the guys initially. You will have to prove that you make at least 85K by providing documentation stating so and comment on how much you’re willing to spend on a baby. While this is annoying, it maintains the integrity of the site.

What it’s like for babies:

This is one of the best sugar daddy sites out there. The financial aspect works in your favor. But you’ll want to pay for it, as the free version doesn’t allow for messaging.

15.  AgeMatch – Best for relationships with significant age gaps

AgeMatch doesn’t market itself as a sugar website. Instead of sugar daddies and young models, it pins itself as a dating platform for people with a very large age gap between them. This works for arrangements because most of the companionships on this site are between successful older men and stunning younger women.

What it’s like for daddies:

Some men don’t want arrangements and prefer the idea of spoiling someone who enjoys their company. For those types, AgeMatch is perfect. You will feel like you are on a real dating site and not a shady or seedy arrangement site, which is a nice alternative to the normal setup.

What it’s like for babies:

The expected age gap works in your favor, but the fact that sugaring is more implied than explicit does not. You won’t be asked about your preferred arrangement. However, there are plenty of wonderful successful older men at your disposal and you are welcome to present them with your terms.

16.  Sudy – A sugaring mobile app

Sudy is a fantastic app in terms of usability. It functions really well and is set up in such a way that makes it easy to meet someone new. There are some things about Sudy that aren’t perfect, which is why it’s at the bottom of our list, but it’s certainly a great option for someone who would rather use their phone than a desktop to find a date.

What it’s like for the daddies:

To join, you’ll need to make over 200K. Once you verify this, you will be introduced to the world of beautiful ladies (there’s a 4:1 male to female ratio). Gorgeous women like to know that you make enough to entertain them, so the verification works in your favor. Sources report having trouble deleting their profiles though, so that might be a turn-off for you.

What it’s like for babies:

There are more women than men, which means it’s competitive. But at the same time, Sudy is also very safe. The Sudy staff work tirelessly to moderate the platform and remove suspicious or fake profiles.

17.  SugarBook – Great for alternative arrangements

Sometimes arrangements aren’t all money-based. There are ambitious women (or guys) out there who desire connections, advice, opportunities, and financial help. Sources say that SugarBook is ideal for that type of relationship with a sugar mama or sugar daddy because each interaction begins by laying out expectations for one another.

What it’s like for daddies:

You will need to verify your income before getting accepted to SugarBook. This is technically a free sugar daddy site for men, but the premium option will show you many more profiles. We’ll admit that it’s limited on the free side.

What it’s like for babies:

You can join for free or pay for more features, that’s totally up to you. Try the free version first, though, because the features just include access to more daddies and a more specific search. You might find what you’re looking for on the free version alone. You’ll have a chance to create a profile where you can explain what you’re interested in.

How  To Be A Good Sugar Daddy

Don’t be stingy – If you want to be a sugar daddy, then you have to be prepared to give a little—okay, a lot—of “sugar.” In other words, you’re going to have to open up that wallet and be generous, giving without necessarily expecting much in return. This is your part of the deal as a sugar daddy. 
Have fun – Surprise gifts, dinners, trips, etc. are a way to inject some fun into your life and the life of your sugar baby. The more you treat it from a light and laidback standpoint the better.
Don’t obsess – Sugar babies will get turned off if you’re super obsessive and act like you’re deeply in love. This is supposed to be a casual relationship where you spoil them, not something meant to last a lifetime like a conventional serious relationship. 
Be transparent – If you only want sugar babies who will have intimate relations with you, then you better make that clear upfront. There are many sugar relationships that don’t get very physical, and the last thing you want is to get rejected after you’ve gotten your expectations up. Being clear from the start saves everyone time and hurt feelings. 
Be smart – As a wealthy person, you may have a significant public profile. Discretion is highly important. Don’t send compromising pictures or messages of yourself unless you’re absolutely sure that you trust this person. In general, be discreet, or else you may seriously regret it.  

How To Be A Good Sugar Baby

Try to be engaging – A sugar daddy wants you to act like he’s the most interesting person in the world. He doesn’t want to spend time and money on you only to have you stare at your phone or ignore him.  
Watch your physique – Although it depends on the daddy, many of them are superficial. Your physique will be an important feature drawing these daddies in, and so it’s important to maintain.  
Don’t be a headache – Sugar daddies generally want something light, playful, and fun. They’re looking for a distraction from work stress or simply a good time. If you are constantly overdramatic, emotional, etc. they will be turned off and want to end the relationship. 
Be funny – Everyone loves to laugh. And while it’s important that you laugh at your sugar daddy’s jokes, it really helps if you can make them laugh as well. 
Be up for anything – It’s totally fine to have your limits as a sugar baby, and you should think about what those are ahead of time. But the more you can be “up for anything,” the better. Sugar daddies often love to be spontaneous and spoil their babies almost randomly. So, the more you’re game for surprise gifts and trips, the better.  

Have Questions About Sugar Daddies and Babies? Here Are Some FAQs

What Does a Sugar Daddy Do?

A sugar daddy’s role is relatively simple. His “job” consists essentially in using his wealth to spoil the sugar baby. This might include fancy dinners, high-end alcohol, even vacations all around the world. In return, the sugar daddy expects a certain degree of companionship. 

Where Can I Find a Sugar Baby?

Finding a sugar baby is basically the same process as finding a sugar daddy. You simply need to leverage the sites and apps that exist specifically to unite would-be sugar babies with sugar daddies. One of the best sites for this is Seeking, though there are many others (the reviews for which you can see in the above article). 

What Does a Sugar Baby Do?

A sugar baby simply provides companionship to a sugar daddy. In exchange for being spoiled and receiving gifts, dinners, vacations, etc., a sugar baby is expected to provide companionship and affection to the sugar daddy. This isn’t necessarily always sexual, as that depends on the sugar daddy and the terms that you establish. It’s a good idea to be upfront about expectations from the get-go to ensure that everything goes smoothly. 

Is It Ok to Have a Sugar Daddy?

Some people may be wondering if it’s morally okay to have a sugar daddy. Well, that depends. Is the sugar daddy married with kids and doing this on the side without anyone knowing? That’s definitely a questionable thing to do morally speaking. But if no one else is at risk of being hurt by the relationship, and everything is consensual, then it’s perfectly okay to have a sugar daddy. 

Are Sugar Daddy Sites Legit?

Sugar daddy sites can definitely be legit. That said, sugar relationships have become more popular and so many sites have popped up lately. Not all of them are legitimate, so it’s important to be careful. A good idea would be to stick with the sites reviewed above, especially the biggest and most well-established ones. 

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Traditional dating isn’t for everyone. Some people want serious relationships while others want something more casual, like a hookup. The taboo around casual dating has subsided in recent years. Casual daters have plenty of options, but most opt to try hookup sites to find what (and who) they want.

Different sites cater to different tastes. A site’s speciality is not always immediately apparent. So it can be a challenge to find the right site for you. That’s where we come in. We’ve signed up for and tried the best hookup sites and apps for casual encounters to get some action.

Let’s dive into the reviews and ratings.

Click ↓ next to the name of the site to jump straight to the review.

Best Hookup Sites and Apps for Casual Dating in 2023

RankSiteBest For1.Adult FriendFinder ↓Best overall hookup site2. BuddyBang ↓Runner-up3.BeNaughty ↓Best for flirtiest singles4.Ashley Madison ↓Best for affairs5.Seeking ↓Best for sugar baby/sugar daddy/mommy6.ALT ↓Best for alternative and BDSM sex7.OKCupid ↓Top choice for millennials8.Hinge ↓Somewhat serious, but mostly FWB9.Zoosk ↓Best for short-term dating10.Bumble ↓Best for women11.Plenty of Fish ↓Best for lots of options12.Tinder ↓Most popular app13.Pure App ↓Best for fantasy based14.Feeld ↓Most open-minded singles15.Sex Messenger ↓Best for anonymous hookups16.Reddit R4R ↓Best completely free option

1.  Adult FriendFinder – Best overall hookup site

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

Adult FriendFinder is one of the oldest hookup sites and remains one of the most popular. oldest and most popular hookup site. Although its name sound relatively innocent, you can think of it as being short for “Adult Friends with Benefit Finder.”

Adult FriendFinder caters primarily to people looking for FWB, swinging, non-monogamous relationships, threesomes, and other more experimental arrangements. Whether you’re looking for something with NSA (no strings attached), a one-night stand to spice up your marriage, or a quick fling, you likely won’t have to go too far to find someone who’s interested.

Once you create a profile on Adult FriendFinder, you can customize your search quite a bit to make your search more efficient and find these like-minded people more quickly.

Adult FriendFinder also has bonus content such as webcam shows and erotic stories. So, if you need a little warming up before connecting with someone, you’re covered. In some senses, you can think of Adult FriendFinder as a kind of interactive PornHub, as it really is home to a large community of kinky and sex-positive people.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$39.95 totalThree months$26.95/month ($80.85 total)One year$19.95/month ($239.40 total)

What Users Think About Adult FriendFinder

“I was on another site. Met a guy who told me about Adult FriendFinder (AFF). I signed up. Have been on AFF for a little over a year and a half. Have nothing but praise. When AFF works, it WORKS! For the most part, I have met some truly wonderful men. Local men, business men coming through my area, couples. Overwhelmingly positive experience and exactly what I was looking for: no strings, no drama, casual sex.”

Need a little more info before taking the plunge? Check out our in-depth Adult FriendFinder review.

2.  BuddyBang – Runner-up

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★★

As you might expect, BuddyBang is all about linking up people interested in no-strings-attached hookups or being friends with benefits. This no-judgment site operates like an express train to sex. Its goal is to be as simple as browse, chat, bang.

While you are not likely to find romance here, you will find plenty of passion. Horny adults flock to BuddyBang to chat and make new erotic connections. Ultimately, the goal is to arrange a meetup with a saucy stranger in your area. If you’re lucky, that one-night stand might turn into a longer-term arrangement.

With a relatively affordable monthly subscription and advanced search filters, getting laid on BuddyBang is fairly straightforward. In any case, it’s likely to be more efficient—and more bang for your buck (see what we did there)—than shelling out tons of cash for dinner dates that may lead nowhere.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$39.95 totalThree months$26.95/month ($80.85 total)One year$19.95/month ($239.40 total)

What Users Think About BuddyBang

“A lotta hookup sites out there, which means a lot of scams. Gotta be honest, at first I was skeptical of BuddyBang. Seemed like another fake site that just wanted your cash. But I was pleasantly surprised. More than that, I was very happy with my experience. I met a couple real girls here who, let’s just say, were down to get down. And that’s all I wanted. I wasn’t a creep. I kept it cool, wasn’t aggressive with messaging and it all worked. I recommend it!”

3.  BeNaughty – Best for flirty singles

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BeNaughty unsurprisingly attracts people who are kinky and after a good time. I mean, it’s right there in the name. Fortunately, breaking the ice is easy as BeNaughty gives users many different ways to connect. You can browse the gallery or enter a naughty chat room for potential dates. When you find someone you like, you can send a wink, a message, or start a live one-on-one chat.

BeNaughty works well because it gets right to the point. Users are looking for fast fun, leaving little time for hot and cold games. They want a hookup and they usually want it ASAP. BeNaughty uses a Tinder-type function that’s geography based, which helps keep your searches relevant. After all, who’s trying to drive (or fly) hundreds or thousands of miles for a one-night-stand?

Open-minded and discreet, BeNaughty provides many filtering options that help streamline your search, whether that’s for singles or couples to join. By adjusting your searches and filters, you can find your ideal scenario and dispense with people who aren’t a good fit for you.

Membership LengthPriceThree day trial$1.05/dayOne month$27.01 totalThree months$15.15/month ($45.45 total)Six months$12.24/month ($73.44 total)

What Users Think About BeNaughty

“Here you can be selective. The choice of profiles is quite large. The girls are active, many of them are constantly online. There are those who only like online communication and do not want to go on dates. However, it is their choice. If you are interested in online flirting, it will be a lot of fun with this site. Some people want more, so I’m still looking for someone to go on a real date with me.”

4.  Ashley Madison – Best for affairs

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Ashley Madison has the reputation of being a site for affairs and discreet married dating. Its slogan is literally “Life is short. Have an affair.” The brand has become notoriously in recent years for being a site for married people to flirt and hook up.

Since the site caters to people in relationships or looking to have sex with married people, Ashley Madison is generally a place where you don’t need to fear negative judgment. It’s a great site for anyone looking to add some excitement to their life and explore the world of extramarital affairs.

Ashley Madison is the first website dedicated to helping married people have affairs, and its highly committed to discretion. Despite the backlash and its somewhat negative reputation, this site remains popular and boasts a massive database that crisscrosses the globe.

Membership TierPriceBasic100 credits at $0.59/creditClassic500 credits at $0.34/creditElite1,000 credits at $0.29/credit

You message and live chat with users in exchange for credits. It’s about 5 credits to sent a message or 50 credits/hour to live chat. For more information about credits and other aspects of the site, see our full Ashley Madison review.

What Users Think About Ashley Madison

“As a woman, I can tell you that this site works. I’ve met and hooked up with a lot of great guys. However, I will say that since there are considerably more men than women on the site you have to make yourself stand out from the crowd. Women like to be wined and dined and brought on business trips, to a nice hotel, etc… Be patient, it works. I found a great guy who I have been hooking up with on a regular basis for over 2 years now and we are very happy with the arrangement.”

5.  Seeking – Best for sugar relationships

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Seeking may have undergone a brand transformation (fka Seeking Arrangement), but it still attracts a straightforward target audience: wealthy and experienced individuals seeking the young and attractive. This sugar daddy site is all about helping daddies and mommas find sugar babies or cubs for hookups.

There are many more women than men because the “sugar baby” focus attracts many young women to the site. In fact, Seeking claims to have four times the number of women than men in their database. The only real prerequisite for would-be sugar daddies is that they have money to throw around. They give priority to verified “elite members” who join with the sole intention of lavishing money and attention on would-be sugar babies.

While Seeking is a great site for beautiful young women looking for fun, attention, and a “daddy” to spoil them, it can be quite competitive for sugar babies. And the hopeless romantics out there are probably best avoiding sites such as Seeking in general. It’s much more geared toward hookups that may have a rather transaction-like feel.Women who’d like to meet a well-off older man also aren’t risking much with Seeking because it’s free for women seeking men.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$89.95/monthThree month$79.95/month ($239.85 total)Diamond (more premium features)$249.95/month

What Users Think About Seeking

“Came across them on Facebook and decided to spend a few bucks to find some men. Although not all the men were true to their description and some being scammers, it was pretty easy to find the genuinely interested ones from the fakes. It is a dating site for the wealthier crowd as we spend a lot of money but you can find a suitable candidate here.”

Still not sure or need more information? Check out our full Seeking review.

6.  ALT – Best for alternative relationships

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ALT is a full-on casual sex website. It’s not for anyone who is on the hunt for a serious relationship. This site is all about casual sex in every form to gratify any sex-seeker! The website’s community is made up of those who are into alternative bondage, who enjoy hooking up online, live, and in-person for sex dates.

It’s a dating site that caters to people who want to find alternative, BDSM, bondage, and fetish partners who can connect online and meet in person. ALT speaks to swingers, dominatrixes, and mistresses looking for power exchange.

ALT is the leading BDSM site, with almost 2 million members. You can easily customize your fetish and find someone who is into the same kinks as you! Remember that this site is all about kink, such as orgies, being humiliated, or being tortured, and not about vanilla sex. So, if you’re looking for just plain sex, opt for another option on this list.

Membership TierPriceSilver$19.95/monthGold$29.95/month

What Users Think About ALT

“Don’t listen to all the haters!!!! Alt.com is one of the best sites. Been using it in the past and it worked quite good. Nowadays I’d also try Casuasexonly.com and Fetlife.com. And there are also a few smaller sites that work but they are more ‘special niche sites’.”

7. OKCupid – Best for millennials and young people

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OKCupid is a mainstream dating app that caters to many different kinds of relationships. It provides a multitude of choices for millennials looking not just for long-term relationships but options for short-term relationships, casual dating, and hookups. All you have to do is set that as what you are looking for, and they match you to like-minded people!

This site gears toward a generally younger audience—the age group between 18-29. This site is also one of the most inclusive mainstream dating websites that includes many gender and orientation options, helping you zero in on the particular pool of choices you want!

OKCupid may be a mainstream dating app that includes finding long-term relationships, but given its wide range of options, filters, and preferences, it’s a great app for hookups and casual sex as well. Just be up-front and be prepared to meet a great bunch of locals looking for the same things as you.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$19.95 totalSix months$9.95/month ($59.70 total)

What Users Think About OKCupid

“OkCupid is a dating app worth checking out. For the most part I have been disappointed with my dating app experiences. I have been pleasantly surprised with the results from OkCupid. There seems to be an endless supply of genuine women interested in a relationship. After several weeks of using the app for free, I decided to become a subscriber. I have been satisfied with my decision.”

8.  Hinge – Best for hybrid serious and FWB relationships

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Hinge is a mainstream dating app that focuses on finding real romance—but it is also used to find casual sex and friends with benefits. The truth about Hinge is that it’s “designed to be deleted.”

But fear not! This app is incredibly popular with the younger crowd (18 to 29 years of age) and has filters to state the nature of the relationship you’re interested in. This setup is the best for friends with benefits because you have to answer questions about yourself and your preferences, which will bring you closer to meeting someone you share similar interests with and are attracted to!

Hinge is a great hookup app for those who want to find a casual relationship where you hook up with the same person a few times instead of just a one-night stand. Just be straight up with what you’re looking for—and you might just meet a new FWB with absolutely no strings attached.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$19.95 totalThree months$20.99 totalSix months$29.99 total

What Users Think About Hinge

“Hinge is amazing! I think the thing that I like about it is that if you don’t pay it limits you to 10 likes a day and so it’s more likely that people will pay attention to you rather than getting distracted by yet another profile. And everyone is more careful about who they pick so if you match you’re more likely to talk I think. It also does a great job of conversation prompts that go with photos or without. Definitely check it out.”

9.  Zoosk – Best for short term dating

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Zoosk is a great short-term dating site that is internationally famous. It has a community of 35 million users in 80 different countries, and it is open to singles of all ages, races, religions, and sexual orientations—making it one of the most diverse casual dating apps.

This app may not be the best for casual hookups and one-night stands, but it is a good contender for short-term dating. If you’re in your early to mid-20s, you’ll find a great selection of singles who are interested in short-term or casual relationships.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$29.95 totalThree months$19.98/month ($59.94 total)Six months$12.49/month ($74.94 total)

What Users Think About Zoosk

“Satisfied with the outcome, pretty good dating site. I think the price is OK and I liked the option of pausing account, very useful when you’re trying to focus on one person. As we all know, it takes several attempts to meet someone you are really interested in.”

10.  Bumble – Safest for women

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Bumble has gained a reputation for being different from most other mainstream dating and hookup apps. If you haven’t heard of this app already, Bumble is one of the first and only sites where women make the first move and get to screen potential men immediately. Men simply cannot reach out to any women unless they’ve initiated contact and interest.

It is catered towards and attracts more women than men looking to mingle or find networking opportunities, friends, or hookups! Even though it has a relatively positive and clean rep, it’s a great site for educated, good-looking men who are searching for successful, bold women.

Membership TierPricePremium$8.99/month

What Users Think About Bumble

“The Bumble app has an easy format to navigate and I like that women have to make the first contact. That Helped me out of my comfort zone. I liked that you can adjust your distance from possible matches.”

11.  Plenty of Fish – Best for lots of options

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Plenty of Fish has the largest user base. POF was launched in 2003, being one of the oldest dating sites. Since it’s free and easy to sign up, you’re going to be exposed to a lot of different types of people, looking for different things, so you’ll have to filter through them all.

Since it’s been around for a long time, it has gained a reputation as a matchmaker site that will ask questions about your family, career, and interests to match you with similar users. It’s catered for people who want to dip their toes into dating and hookup sites to explore options.

Plenty of Fish may or may not have people looking for casual sex, depending on your luck. It’s a matchmaker site that is geared more for a long-term commitment. So you have to be prepared to screen different kinds of people.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$19.99/monthThree months$9.80/month ($29.40/total)One year$5.95/month ($71.40 total)

What Users Think About Plenty of Fish

“Plenty of catfish and foreigners who can’t speak English. However, even if you’re not a paid subscriber you can opt in for only paid subscribers. The site also provides an option for voice calls through the app. I’m going to try the site out for a month or so, then may upgrade to being a paid subscriber. POF has really improved its website since I was on it a year ago. Have fun and meet someone!”

12.  Tinder – Most popular app

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You didn’t think this list was going to end without this sex gem of an app, did you? Tinder is the most widely known hookup app of this generation. It has an infamous rep for finding casual sex ASAP.

Tinder caters to men and women looking to get laid based on appearance. It’s known for its classic swiping left to reject and swiping right to like someone’s profile. If you’re looking for sex, Tinder has a huge user base and a large number of locals, meaning you can probably secure a sex date tonight—but the catch is that your profile needs to stand out. If you’re not conventionally attractive, you’re going to struggle to find dates.

For men who can’t seem to find dates, Tinder has a large user base of escorts who will private message their rates. If you’re horny and want it—then maybe you can meet a potential escort on Tinder.

Membership Length/TierPriceLimited SwipesFreeOne month$9.99 total if you’re under 30One month$19.99 total if you’re over 30

What Users Think About Tinder

“I’ve been using tinder for quite some time and I really enjoy it! I travel a lot and t’s great way to meet new people. Tinder has a feature called Face To Face you can use to video chat within the app. Tinder has on-demand safety features via Noonlight, which offers a Timeline feature where users can share first date details on their Timelines, like who they’re meeting, when and where. Users can also discreetly contact emergency services via Noonlight.”

13.  Pure App – Best for fantasy based hookups

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Pure App was created for shameless and judgment-free fantasy and desire-based dating. This app is purely for NSA affairs and is completely secretive and anonymous. It encourages its users to be whoever they choose to be and still be themselves.

It caters to people who have wild fantasies or desires that aren’t celebrated on mainstream dating and hookup apps. It allows your individuality to shine through—choosing your gender and sexuality—and providing guaranteed privacy and safety to video chat and meet whoever shares the same fantasies as you.

Pure App uses your GPS location on your phone to find other Pure users looking for some NSA action. You just have to post a photo and an up-front headline and wait to see if anyone close is interested. When you’re done, your profile will vanish, along with all your messages and photos—no need to worry about deactivating or privacy issues.

Membership LengthPriceOne week$14.99 totalOne month$19.99 total

What Users Think About Pure App

“I am a 25 year old attractive woman, I have never been on a site before however After almost a year of dating and taking things slowly and 4 months of not being interested enough to take things further, I broke and downloaded pure. Downloaded Wednesday, Thursday (yesterday) spontaneously arranged to meet a really really attractive guy who spent a few great hours with me. We got along really well. I also had a video chat with a really attractive couple who I’ll be meeting soon. I’m speaking to other really attractive guys as well.”

14.  Feeld – Best for adventurous singles

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Feeld is a hookup app for couples and singles to explore their kinks and desires in a no-judgement atmosphere.

It includes couples’ accounts where you and your partner can date a lover or meet someone for a threesome. It’s inclusive for all genders and sexual orientations. Overall, it’s a sex-positive space for anyone looking to explore beyond “the norm” in today’s society.

Feeld prides itself on being responsible and ethical. It connects people with like-minded folk and encourages curious monogamous couples to link with partners who are also interested. It is a safe space that allows couples to explore their desires in the most honest way possible.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$14.99 totalThree months$29.98 total

What Users Think About Feeld

“It’s called the ‘Tinder for threesomes’ for a reason. I’ll let you do the imagining.”

15.  Sex Messenger – Best for anonymous hookups

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Sex Messenger is an anonymous instant messaging app—like WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger. But you never share your name because it’s meant to be discreet and only for sexting and trading nudes.

This app is an adult social network that is much more than an online sex chat. It caters to people who want to connect with other people who want to engage in sex and dirty talk, and fulfill each other’s sexual fantasies. Instant messaging on this app and posting blog entries will help you gain the attention you want from like-minded people.

All members must verify their accounts, so this weeds out fake profiles, scammers, and bots. Members can contribute to the website through Sex Messenger’s forums, chats, group sections, sex stories, and blogs. It’s all anonymous and fully discrete. This app is a great way to sext, increase sexual tension, and finally meet up to do the deed.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$14.95 total

What Users Think About Sex Messenger

“I’m recently single and wanted to have a little fun but was skeptical about trying something online. You hear about the horror stories. I found Sex Messenger and immediately thought SCAM. But I gave it a shot and found a couple fun guys within a couple weeks. I didn’t need to renew my membership.”

16.  Reddit R4R – Best completely free option

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Reddit R4R is one of the best options for browse casual sex options for free. If you’re looking for a hookup but don’t want to sign up, post photos of yourself, and write out a bio to describe who you are and what you want . . . you found the site for you!

This site works as a personals subreddit. It works like any other subreddit. Anyone can post—no photos, no personal information needed! All you have to do is list some things about yourself and the type of person you’re looking for. And then you wait to see if anyone responds to your post.

Reddit R4R is free, so all you have to do is download the Reddit app, and you don’t need to worry about spending money. If you want to be a trusted member and not get blocked, just follow the posting rules! Users love this site to get laid because it’s easy to use, free, and starts an instant conversation with like-minded people.

Membership TierPriceUnlimitedFree

What Users Think About Reddit R4R

“Look, it’s Reddit. You ‘get what you pay for,’ but it’s cool to scroll the profiles and chat for free. Too many guys but I definitely found and met up with a couple hotties.”

Hookup Site Guide

Still on the fence about whether or not you should start using hookup apps? Or maybe you’re already using them but want some more information? Check out this useful guide to answer any lingering questions you may have and walk away with some important safety tips about casual sex.

What Makes a Hookup Site Good?

It’s important to note that different sites cater to different kinds of people. So before creating a profile on any old hookup site, read the reviews to make sure it meets your needs.

Here are a few tips to find the best hookup site specific to you:

If you have a particular kink or preference, keep an eye out for it. (example: Looking for discreet affairs? Ashley Madison is the one for you!)
Make sure the size of the user base is relatively large. More options mean a better chance of finding someone to hook up with.
Find a site that allows users to be up-front about what they want. Usually, apps have preferences, and you can set yours to “casual relationship” or “hookup.”
Make sure the customer service contact information is front and center. You shouldn’t have to go on an expedition to contact the site.

FAQs About Hookup Sites

Q: Are hookup sites safe?

Like any online dating platform, reputable hookup sites have embedded safety features that still require user discretion. It can be dangerous if you don’t take proper safety measures. Generally, these sites and apps regulate safety by banning bots and scammers and have options to report any bad or suspicious behavior. So if you’re planning on joining, be aware and try your best not to be too gullible—you can never be sure who you will come across online!

Q: Are there any completely free hookup sites?

It sucks that most dating apps and casual sex apps require you to subscribe to get optimum results. But sites like Reddit R4R and Craigslist Activities offer a free platform to chat, flirt, and arrange sex dates. But the only downside is that there is no moderation and you won’t be talking to a verified profile and have to be extra cautious.

Q: What hookup sites are free for women?

The reality is that dating apps make it very easy for women to find sex. Most high-rated dating sites offer women free memberships (mostly to balance out the male/female ratio on their site). Sex sites that are free for women include Bumble, OkCupid, Tinder, Seeking, Hinge, Her, and Pure.

Q: What is the best LGBTQ+ option?

Though there are a few options, only two rise to the top. HER is the best for women seeking women and Grindr is best for men seeking for men. These two sites also cater to non-binary people.

Final Verdict

If you’re looking for some action tonight, welcome to the world of casual sex sites and apps.

The best hookup sites are on top for a reason—everyone on there is eager to find sex and casual flings just like you! More than mainstream dating apps that cater to a plethora of things such as long-term dating, friendships, and so on, hookup apps are catered only towards sex and NSA fun!

The best hookup site is Adult FriendFinder (AFF) followed closely by BuddyBang. AFF emphasizes anonymity, safety, a massive user base, and a brand name that is verified. Most people on this site are looking for a good time with so many different types of kinks and fantasies. So what are you waiting for?

Hopefully, this list gives you an idea of what sex app is the best for you to get started on today.

Read More

We’re finally getting a taste of the usual winter weather, but that’s no reason to stay housebound. (Unless you’re being extra COVID-cautious, for which we don’t blame you!) But if you’re up for some cultural adventures, there are some great possibilities on tap the next couple of months. Chicago Theatre Week, sponsored every year by the League of Chicago Theatres and Choose Chicago, returns February 16-26 this year—and yes, that’s technically longer than a week. But that just means there are even more opportunities to take advantage of discounted tickets to theaters all over the Chicago area, along with dining deals at nearby restaurants. Black History Month also means that there are many shows geared toward showcasing Black artists (though of course their work is present all year on Chicago stages).

And since COVID is still present, be prepared to mask up at venues out of courtesy for your fellow patrons, even if face coverings aren’t required. Most venues have information about their COVID policies on their websites so you can check ahead.

DANCE (Irene Hsiao)

work aroundSteppenwolf’s Curatorial Residency Program, a new program for Chicago practitioners of performance to curate a two-week series, launches with work around, curated by Kara Brody and Amanda Maraist. Featuring Cat Mahari’s Blk Ark: the impossible manifestation, Tuli Bera’s Bangali Meye, and Drew Lewis’s Heavy Objects, the series offers artists the opportunity to develop their work with Steppenwolf’s space and technical resources and showcases work in various stages of development. 

Brody and Maraist tailored the structure of the residency to respond to the needs of the artists. “I saw Cat do [Blk Ark] at Links for her Co-Mission show—I got chills,” says Maraist. “She’s a really embodied mover, and her wisdom about different vernaculars shows up in every aspect of what she’s doing—in the projection, in her movement, in the set design—all of it. She’s also booked and blessed, so she’s using minimal time in the space—just a tech/dress day and two shows. Tuli wanted time to rehearse, so she’ll have the first week, all day in the theater.” 

Bera will redevelop a work also initially incubated in a Links Co-Mission residency—“it’s dance, storytelling, she and her sister are cooking onstage, there’s a scent element—and she’ll have two less formal showings with some lighting and that’s it. Drew did a ten-minute showing of his work at Lumber Studios in Pilsen—now he’s developing the work into a full-length evening show and will use the time as a technical residency—because the artists get time with Steppenwolf’s technical crew. All these artists are showing work at very different points in development. We’re excited to present these works on a level playing field, to say, this is all of equal importance for you to see as an audience.” 2/4-2/12: Mahari is featured Sat 2/4 8 PM and Sun 2/5 3 PM; Bera is featured Thu-Fri 2/9-2/10 8 PM; Lewis is featured Sat 2/11 8 PM, and Sun 2/12 7 PM; Steppenwolf 1700 Theater, 1700 N. Halsted, 312-335-1650, steppenwolf.org, $12-$40

New Music/New Dance Chicago Center for Contemporary Composition and DanceWorks Chicago cocurate an evening of premieres by four collaborative teams: choreographer Brian Enos/composer Justin Weiss, choreographer Noelle Kayser/composer Ania Vu, choreographer Brandon DiCriscio/composer Benjamin Martin, and choreographer Marc Macaranas/poet Victoria Flanagan/composer Paul Novak. Paired by a “virtual speed date,” each team will present a new work in the intimate Logan Penthouse. Novak—who initiated contact with DanceWorks in 2022 and who is creating “a ghost story through a queer lens” with Macaranas and Flanagan—notes, “Each team had a completely different style of collaboration and process: for some, the dance came first, for others, the music, and others worked on them simultaneously and together.”

“The concept for our piece came from text that Ania wrote as the basis of her original composition,” says Kayser of her collaboration with Vu. “Pulling from themes of struggling to communicate, cross-culture peace offerings, and reclamation of voice—we developed a comic book-type narrative of an advanced alien species crash landing on earth. To survive they’re going to try and say hi.” Adds Vu, “There are two musical processes that happen throughout the piece: from gibberish vocal sounds to those that sound like actual words, and from unpitched and percussive sounds to pitched and melodic. These gradual transformations mirror the process of aliens slowly learning English and befriending humans despite the language and ‘cultural’ barriers.”

In addition to working with each other, some teams have looked outward to other media for inspiration—both music and dance were “inspired by a painting by Norman Lewis called Untitled in Blue and Black,” says Enos of his collaboration with Weiss. “Working with the score was a fun challenge. The music has large sections of unpunctuated drone-like sounds from the bass, and I tried to create moments of rhythm with the dancers and movement within those stretches of soundscape while still creating a cohesive feel between the movement and music. The DanceWorks dancers, as always, were wonderful to work with, and very game to experiment with different ideas.” 3/24, Logan Center for the Arts Performance Penthouse, 915 E. 60th St., https://cccc.uchicago.edu/concerts-events/new-musicnew-dance, free for students, $20 general admission 

OPERA (Deanna Isaacs)

The FactotumThe brightest spots in this winter opera season are all about new work, starting with this Lyric Opera commission. The Factotum is a soul opera created by multitalented baritone (and Ryan Center alum) Will Liverman and his equally versatile arts high school buddy, musician/producer DJ King Rico, with help on the book from director Rajendra Ramoon Maharaj. Inspired by Rossini’s early 19th-century comic opera The Barber of Seville, but set in a contemporary south-side Chicago barber shop, it features a mix of styles ranging from gospel and R&B, to rap, hip-hop, and “classic barbershop quartet,” and promises an upbeat redefinition of opera. 2/3-2/12, Harris Theater, 205 E. Randolph, lyricopera.org, $35-$125

The Life and Death(s) of Alan TuringA 2019 workshop performance of this biographical opera by composer Justine F. Chen and librettist David Simpatico left me eager to see the finished work. As I wrote then, even in its still-developing state, The Life and Death(s) of Alan Turing was revelatory: “. . . worthy of the man who invented the modern computer and facilitated the Allied victory in World War II by breaking the German military’s secret code—only to be prosecuted and chemically castrated by British authorities for homosexual activity.” Baritone Jonathan Michie, memorable in the title role, returns for this Chicago Opera Theater world premiere. 3/23-3/24, Harris Theater, 205 E. Randolph, chicagooperatheater.org, $25-$165

ProximityAnother eagerly-anticipated Lyric Opera commission, this trio of short new works by three high-profile composer/librettist teams aims to address major themes of contemporary life: technology-driven isolation, gun violence, and our profound connection to our threatened planet. The Walkers has a score by composer/violinist Daniel Bernard Roumain and a libretto by playwright/actor Anna Deavere Smith; Pulitzer Prize-winning composer and librettist Caroline Shaw teams with writer Jocelyn Clarke for Four Portraits; and a poem by the late Alaskan writer John Haines is set by sounds-of-nature-master John Luther Adams in Night. Uber-innovative Detroit Opera artistic director (and Chicago native) Yuval Sharon, who brought his parking-garage Wagner project, Twilight: Gods, to the Millennium Park underground garage in 2021, directs. 3/24-4/8, Lyric Opera House, 20 N. Upper Wacker, lyricopera.org, $40-$330

Gloria Imseih Petrelli (left) and Arash N. Fakhrabadi in the 2021 Goodman Theatre New Stages Festival presentation of Layalina Credit Liz Lauren

THEATER AND COMEDY (Kerry Reid)

AlaiyoInspired in part by A Raisin in the Sun, Micah Ariel Watson’s play about Ariel, a “hopeless romantic” who realizes she loves her best friend, Kofi, gets a world premiere with Definition under McKenzie Chinn’s direction. Ariel makes a pilgrimage to Ghana to confess her love for Kofi and finds that it’s a journey to explore “the gray space of being neither fully African nor fully American.” Definition is working to build their new performance space and community center in Woodlawn. Meantime, this production is being staged at The Revival, usually the home of sketch and improv, located at the spot where the Compass Players first started offering improvisational games under the direction of Paul Sills, who would go on to cofound The Second City. 2/3-2/26, the Revival, 1160 E. 55th St., definitiontheatre.org, $20

Dance Like There Are Black People Watching: A Black Excellence RevueSpeaking of Second City: the UP Comedy Club presents an all-new show created by Black writers and performers (including Kennedy Baldwin, Karl Bradley, Arlieta Hall, Spencer Hodges, Adonis Holmes, and Jason Tolliverto) to run for Black History Month and beyond. Rob Wilson, whose previous credits include The SuperAfroWavyDrippyExtraBrillantDope Show at Second City and Shamilton with musical improvisation stalwarts Baby Wants Candy, directs. 2/3-4/1, UP Comedy Club, 230 W. North, 312-337-3992, secondcity.com, $29-$59

Trial in the Delta: The Murder of Emmett TillCollaboraction created a teleplay out of the actual court transcripts for the trial of the white men accused (and acquitted) of kidnapping and brutally murdering Black Chicago teenager Emmett Till in Sumner, Mississippi, in 1955. It premiered on NBC5 last February as part of anchor Marion Brooks’s investigative series, The Lost Story of Emmett Till. That version won a 2022 Chicago/Midwest Emmy Award for “Human Interest—Long Form.” Now co-adapters G. Riley Mills and Willie Round, along with codirectors Anthony Moseley and Dana Anderson, bring it to the DuSable Black History Museum and Education Center for a fully produced live staging. The script still uses only the words uttered during the actual (sham) trial of Till’s killers, J.W. Milam and Roy Bryant, including those from Till’s mother, Mamie Till-Bradley, and his uncle, Mose Wright. (Actors depicting those characters and others will be seated among the live audience.) Each performance will be followed by a “Crucial Conversation” introduced by Pilar Audain, associate director for Truth, Racial Healing, and Transformation (TRHT) Greater Chicago. 2/9-2/19, DuSable Black History and Education Center, 740 E. 56th Pl., collaboraction.org, $30-$55

Right to Be ForgottenRaven presents the Chicago premiere of Sharyn Rothstein’s 2019 drama about a young man, Derril Lark, whose past questionable behavior as a teenager is preserved on the Internet, causing problems for him personally and professionally. When he tries to get that history scrubbed with the help of a civil rights lawyer who is bent on taking on big tech companies, he’s forced to confront the actual consequences of that behavior and not just the damage to his online reputation. Sarah Gitenstein directs. (Rothstein’s By the Water, set in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, played at Northlight Theatre in 2017, directed by former Raven artistic director Cody Estle.) 2/9-3/26, Raven Theatre, 6157 N. Clark, $30-$40 (students, active military, and veterans $15)

LayalinaAfter a 2021 outing with Goodman’s New Stages Festival, Martin Yousif Zebari’s multigenerational drama (inspired in part by the playwright’s own family and their journey from Baghdad to Skokie) is now the first world premiere by a SWANA (South West Asian and North African) writer to get a full production at the Goodman. Sivan Battat directs a cast of five; special events around the run of Layalina include a “SWANASA Community Night” (3/8), where Southwest Asian, North African, and South Asian community members are invited to gather for food and conversation ahead of the evening performance, and a talkback with Zebari and Battat will follow the show. 3/3-2/2, Goodman Theatre, 170 N. Dearborn, 312-443-3800, goodmantheatre.org, $15-$45

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When he met Tereska Adwentowska in 1948, David “Chim” Seymour was photographing ghosts. 

Born Dawid Szymin in what would become Warsaw’s Jewish ghetto, the 36-year-old cofounder of the legendary Magnum Photos collective returned to find the streets of his youth reduced to rubble. His parents were gone, too, executed by the Nazis in a wooded suburb of Warsaw where they once spent blissful summers.

But closure, or something like it, wasn’t what brought Chim back to Warsaw. After his powerfully received postwar coverage for This Week magazine, UNESCO commissioned Chim for Children of Europe, a photojournalism series raising awareness about the continent’s estimated 13 million war orphans. 

That’s how Chim met Adwentowska, a student at a school for “backward and psychologically upset children,” per his caption. Her home had been flattened during a German air raid, her brain permanently damaged by shrapnel. In Chim’s photo, Adwentowska responds to an art class prompt: “This is home.” She scrawls a violent tangle of lines on the blackboard, her eyes wide and bewildered. 

Chim, on the other side of the lens, likely knew the feeling.

“Chim: Between Devastation and Resurrection”Through 2/4/24: Wed-Mon 10 AM-5 PM, Illinois Holocaust Museum & Education Center, 9603 Woods Dr., Skokie, ilholocaustmuseum.org, general admission $6-$18

“Tereska,” as the 1948 photograph is often called, casts its thousand-yard stare over “Chim: Between Devastation and Resurrection,” a retrospective excerpted from an International Center of Photography exhibition and showing at the Illinois Holocaust Museum until February 4, 2024. But for the next several weeks, the pangs “Tereska” elicits from viewers will echo in galleries far beyond the Holocaust Museum’s. 

“Children of War”Through 2/12: Wed-Sun noon-4 PM, Ukrainian Institute of Modern Art, 2320 W. Chicago, uima-chicago.org, admission donation-based

Until February 12, the Ukrainian Institute of Modern Art shows “Children of War,” a collection of 144 paintings spirited out of Lviv by mother–daughter art teachers Nataliia and Yustyna Pavliuk. Later this winter, the Chicago Cultural Center, Newberry Library, and Hyde Park Art Center host exhibitions affiliated with the second Veteran Art Triennial and Summit, entitled “Surviving the Long Wars.”

“Unlikely Entanglements”Through 7/9: Tue-Thu 10 AM-7 PM, Fri 10 AM-4:30 PM, Sat 10 AM-4 PM, Sun 10 AM-1:30 PM, Hyde Park Art Center, 5020 S. Cornell, hydeparkart.org, free

The three exhibitions are more or less dovetailing by chance. The first triennial happened in 2019, with this iteration delayed because of COVID, as was “Chim.” And, of course, few could have predicted the need for “Children of War.” But the resonance of that coincidence is hard to ignore. 

Boy in bombed building, Essen, Germany, 1947Courtesy Illinois Holocaust Museum

“Every time I see these images now, I see Ukraine,” Ben Shneiderman, Chim’s nephew and a pioneering computer scientist, told me as we passed a line of Chim’s Warsaw photos.

“Chim,” by design, privileges one perspective (Chim’s) andone medium (photography, here enlarged digital inkjet reproductions). On the other hand, “Surviving the Long Wars”will feature everything from textiles to performance works to 19th-century ledger art created during the American Indian Wars, which began the moment European settlers set foot in North America and never officially ended. (The U.S. government stopped recognizing Native tribes as sovereign nations in 1871, making it impossible to broker official treaties.) In an expansion of the first triennial, this year broadens the focus from veteran artists to all individuals affected by the U.S.’s longest wars: the American Indian Wars and the Global War on Terror. 

“We’re coming at this as community members grappling with something that we all know is beyond our ability to fully grapple with,” says “Surviving the Long Wars”co-organizer Aaron Hughes. “Because of that, it’s really fraught; we’re bringing a lot of different communities together. And often, veterans overwhelmingly come from the same communities impacted by our foreign and domestic policies. What does it mean to unpack those contradictions?” 

Hughes and fellow co-organizer Joseph Lefthand have been doing just that—grappling, unpacking—for years now. Hughes, who cocurated last year’s “Remaking the Exceptional: Tea, Torture, & Reparations” at the DePaul Art Museum, foregrounds his dual identities as an Iraq war veteran and anti-war activist in his artistic practice; Lefthand delves into his experiences as both a subject and agent of state violence. (Lefthand is of Cheyenne-Arapaho, Taos, and Zuni descent; like Hughes, he participated in the 2003 invasion of Iraq.) 

“Residues and Rebellions”Through 5/27: Tue-Thu 10 AM-7 PM, Fri-Sat 10 AM-5 PM, Newberry Library, 60 W. Walton, newberry.org, free

When both spoke to me about “Surviving the Long Wars” over Zoom, words often gave way to pregnant pauses. “I would love to enrich the conversation around war and violence in a way that de-emphasizes the violence,” Lefthand says. “As a performance artist, what are the tools, methods, and relationships that I can use in order to create work around these experiences, so as not to center the violence and subject others to it?”

At the first triennial, Lefthand presented a performance piece entitled Things Are Certainly Beautiful to Behold, but to Be Them Is Something Quite Different. Donning a gas mask, he used symbolic objects which “repurposed, recontextualized, and questioned” the latent violence of everyday life: the emergence of the “nuclear family” and middle-class prosperity from World War II, for example. An audience member—a Marine vet—approached him afterward.

“He told me he was moved by my performance. It made him reflect on his children and how our youth are pulled into this machine of creating violence,” Lefthand recalls. 

Later, Lefthand looked the vet up. Years before, he’d been put on trial for war crimes, though he was ultimately found not guilty. “Someone who believed so deeply in the culture of the Marine Corps and that culture of violence was able to watch me perform, and it caused him to then question, even just a little bit, this system that he had been a part of,” Lefthand says.

“Reckon and Reimagine”Through 6/4: open daily 10 AM-5 PM, Chicago Cultural Center, 78 E. Washington, chicago.gov, free

What had done it? Was it the setting—a veteran art show in the Chicago Cultural Center’s Grand Army of the Republic Rotunda? Was it Lefthand himself, also a former Marine? Was the man haunted by what he had done? Lefthand doesn’t know. He’ll likely never know.

Where the works in “Surviving the Long Wars” are, by necessity, hyper-individualized, the works in “Children of War”—all paper-based, rendered in acrylic, pastel, or watercolor—make for more diffuse interpretations. UIMA exhibits the artworks sans placards, leaving artist names, titles, dates, and provenance a mystery.

In the disparate and often overwhelming display, some themes nonetheless coalesce. Many children lean into patriotic symbolism, squaring off the Ukrainian blue-and-yellow against the Russian white, blue, and red. (One work, in a bit of sophisticated geopolitical commentary, shows blue-and-yellow silhouettes shielding themselves from missile fire with an umbrella decorated with the Swedish, Polish, and American flags; whether the umbrella symbolizes solidarity or futility is left to the viewer.) In others, anthropomorphic animals stand in as surrogates for the conflict—a terrier in a police vest, a cat curled next to a rifle and a helmet.

A child takes a picture at the opening reception of “Children of War,” at the Ukrainian Institute of Modern Art.Courtesy UIMA

Step into the one-room gallery, and you’ll also be confronted by a sea of sunflowers, Ukraine’s national symbol, many Van Gogh-like in their staccato elegance. The most devastating shows a line of sunflowers standing charred and skeletal before an ashen landscape. Like most of the works, it only bears the first name of its painter: “Катерина,” Katerina.

Yustyna Pavliuk knows all these artworks and the young artists behind them by heart. Since the outbreak of the war, Pavliuk and her mother, a professor at Lviv Polytechnic National University, have taught art at hospitals, orphanages, and distribution centers to more than a thousand displaced children, most between the ages of four and 14. Nataliia Pavliuk started the classes just days after the Russian invasion; Yustyna, herself a student at the Polytechnic, joined her once or twice a week between her own studies. 

Likewise, when she and Nataliia return to Lviv at the end of the month, they will rest for just one day before resuming classes once again. 

“The first day, you are shocked. You don’t know what to do. The second day, you try to deal with your plans. And then, you say, ‘I can’t sit in one place. I need to do something,’” Yustyna says.

Yustyna called me from New York City, where she and Nataliia were sightseeing before returning to Chicago; Nataliia, who understands English better than she speaks it, listened and chimed in occasionally from out of frame. Yustyna said their students usually shared their backstories gradually. Sometimes, color palettes offered their own tell. 

“Kids who are the most affected by war, the most traumatized, they use the brightest colors. They don’t use black at all,” she says.

One such drawing depicts two children, one holding a balloon, standing in front of a house. The work is a self-portrait of the ten-year-old artist, Veronika, and one of her friends, Danylo. The colors seem to leap from the page; Veronika’s hair is long and flowing. 

In reality, at the time she created the work, Veronika’s hair was cropped short, the result of extensive surgeries after her house in Vuhledar, a coal mining city in Donetsk, was leveled by a Russian tank. Her entire family was killed. So was Danylo, in a separate attack, and many of her friends. 

Unlike Tereska, Veronika could imagine “home”: the building in the work’s background. Yustyna says Veronika told her it was a house “where all of her friends who died could be in one place.” But, like Tereska’s “home,” that place does not—cannot—exist.

“It’s a very, very deep work,” Yustyna says. “It’s the hope of meeting her friends again, and also knowing it will never be the same, like it was.”

The most powerful photographs in “Chim” come from his Children of Europe series. The precocity and pain Chim captured still staggers. Two pocket-sized buskers swaggering like troubadours on the streets of Naples. Young boys working in a printing press in Hungary, the composition and light evoking Vermeer. A boy without arms, probably no older than 12, reading a book in Braille with his lips. In one of my favorites, a half-dozen Polish kids ham it up for Chim on a rickety-looking wooden jungle gym. Behind them looms the blown-out skeleton of the Warsaw ghetto; the playground was built to deter kids from exploring the rubble. If not vying to impress him, clearly Chim’s young subjects at least trusted him. 

School children waiting for a bus in the ruins of the destroyed ghetto, Warsaw, Poland, 1948Courtesy Illinois Holocaust Museum

That doesn’t surprise Shneiderman. To him, Chim was the favorite uncle who always brought back books and tchotchkes from his travels. “In terms of why he focused on children, it always seemed obvious to me. He was a very empathic person,” Shneiderman said, during his January 19 talk at the Illinois Holocaust Museum. 

Unlike fellow Magnum Photos cofounder Robert Capa, Chim wasn’t drawn to combat images. Instead he favored psychological portraits which, like Lefthand’s work, never let you forget the violence looming just out of frame. The exhibition concludes with the last five years of Chim’s career, spent in the Middle East, much of it in the nascent state of Israel. In one, an Italian settler named Eliezer Trito holds his newborn daughter aloft, beaming. The placard describes her as the first child born in the Alma settlement in Northern Galilee. 

What it doesn’t mention is that three short years before, there had been another Alma—an Arab village razed by the Israeli Defense Force, despite being denoted by the Israeli Minority Affairs Committee as a peacefully “surrendered” village. The ruins of the old Alma rest just half a kilometer west of the Jewish settlement.

In another photo, taken in an unspecified region of Israel, a young couple marries under a chuppah held aloft by guns and pitchforks. The subject and composition were so stark that one contemporary accused Chim of staging it. Life, yet again, springs from bloodshed, and the living are left to reckon with the emotional rubble. 

“There’s nothing more Zionist than that,” Holocaust Museum curator Arielle Weininger mused, staring at the wedding tableau.

In 1956, Chim was shot by Egyptian troops while covering the Suez Crisis. His family found out on the morning news when Shneiderman was nine. 

Today, Shneiderman oversees Chim’s estate, mostly handling licensing and research queries. As he settles into retirement from the University of Maryland, he devotes increasingly more time to managing his uncle’s legacy.

“Robert Capa is known for the phrase, ‘If your photos aren’t good enough, you’re not close enough,’” Shneiderman says. “A couple of the exhibits about Chim are called ‘Close Enough,’ because Chim got close enough emotionally. That’s just the spirit of who he was.” 

It’s all any of these exhibitions can be, grasping at terrors we all cower beneath yet never get an iota nearer to understanding: close enough.

Lisa Tashkevych contributed translation assistance for this article.

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When he met Tereska Adwentowska in 1948, David “Chim” Seymour was photographing ghosts. 

Born Dawid Szymin in what would become Warsaw’s Jewish ghetto, the 36-year-old cofounder of the legendary Magnum Photos collective returned to find the streets of his youth reduced to rubble. His parents were gone, too, executed by the Nazis in a wooded suburb of Warsaw where they once spent blissful summers.

But closure, or something like it, wasn’t what brought Chim back to Warsaw. After his powerfully received postwar coverage for This Week magazine, UNESCO commissioned Chim for Children of Europe, a photojournalism series raising awareness about the continent’s estimated 13 million war orphans. 

That’s how Chim met Adwentowska, a student at a school for “backward and psychologically upset children,” per his caption. Her home had been flattened during a German air raid, her brain permanently damaged by shrapnel. In Chim’s photo, Adwentowska responds to an art class prompt: “This is home.” She scrawls a violent tangle of lines on the blackboard, her eyes wide and bewildered. 

Chim, on the other side of the lens, likely knew the feeling.

“Chim: Between Devastation and Resurrection”Through 2/4/24: Wed-Mon 10 AM-5 PM, Illinois Holocaust Museum & Education Center, 9603 Woods Dr., Skokie, ilholocaustmuseum.org, general admission $6-$18

“Tereska,” as the 1948 photograph is often called, casts its thousand-yard stare over “Chim: Between Devastation and Resurrection,” a retrospective excerpted from an International Center of Photography exhibition and showing at the Illinois Holocaust Museum until February 4, 2024. But for the next several weeks, the pangs “Tereska” elicits from viewers will echo in galleries far beyond the Holocaust Museum’s. 

“Children of War”Through 2/12: Wed-Sun noon-4 PM, Ukrainian Institute of Modern Art, 2320 W. Chicago, uima-chicago.org, admission donation-based

Until February 12, the Ukrainian Institute of Modern Art shows “Children of War,” a collection of 144 paintings spirited out of Lviv by mother–daughter art teachers Nataliia and Yustyna Pavliuk. Later this winter, the Chicago Cultural Center, Newberry Library, and Hyde Park Art Center host exhibitions affiliated with the second Veteran Art Triennial and Summit, entitled “Surviving the Long Wars.”

“Unlikely Entanglements”Through 7/9: Tue-Thu 10 AM-7 PM, Fri 10 AM-4:30 PM, Sat 10 AM-4 PM, Sun 10 AM-1:30 PM, Hyde Park Art Center, 5020 S. Cornell, hydeparkart.org, free

The three exhibitions are more or less dovetailing by chance. The first triennial happened in 2019, with this iteration delayed because of COVID, as was “Chim.” And, of course, few could have predicted the need for “Children of War.” But the resonance of that coincidence is hard to ignore. 

Boy in bombed building, Essen, Germany, 1947Courtesy Illinois Holocaust Museum

“Every time I see these images now, I see Ukraine,” Ben Shneiderman, Chim’s nephew and a pioneering computer scientist, told me as we passed a line of Chim’s Warsaw photos.

“Chim,” by design, privileges one perspective (Chim’s) andone medium (photography, here enlarged digital inkjet reproductions). On the other hand, “Surviving the Long Wars”will feature everything from textiles to performance works to 19th-century ledger art created during the American Indian Wars, which began the moment European settlers set foot in North America and never officially ended. (The U.S. government stopped recognizing Native tribes as sovereign nations in 1871, making it impossible to broker official treaties.) In an expansion of the first triennial, this year broadens the focus from veteran artists to all individuals affected by the U.S.’s longest wars: the American Indian Wars and the Global War on Terror. 

“We’re coming at this as community members grappling with something that we all know is beyond our ability to fully grapple with,” says “Surviving the Long Wars”co-organizer Aaron Hughes. “Because of that, it’s really fraught; we’re bringing a lot of different communities together. And often, veterans overwhelmingly come from the same communities impacted by our foreign and domestic policies. What does it mean to unpack those contradictions?” 

Hughes and fellow co-organizer Joseph Lefthand have been doing just that—grappling, unpacking—for years now. Hughes, who cocurated last year’s “Remaking the Exceptional: Tea, Torture, & Reparations” at the DePaul Art Museum, foregrounds his dual identities as an Iraq war veteran and anti-war activist in his artistic practice; Lefthand delves into his experiences as both a subject and agent of state violence. (Lefthand is of Cheyenne-Arapaho, Taos, and Zuni descent; like Hughes, he participated in the 2003 invasion of Iraq.) 

“Residues and Rebellions”Through 5/27: Tue-Thu 10 AM-7 PM, Fri-Sat 10 AM-5 PM, Newberry Library, 60 W. Walton, newberry.org, free

When both spoke to me about “Surviving the Long Wars” over Zoom, words often gave way to pregnant pauses. “I would love to enrich the conversation around war and violence in a way that de-emphasizes the violence,” Lefthand says. “As a performance artist, what are the tools, methods, and relationships that I can use in order to create work around these experiences, so as not to center the violence and subject others to it?”

At the first triennial, Lefthand presented a performance piece entitled Things Are Certainly Beautiful to Behold, but to Be Them Is Something Quite Different. Donning a gas mask, he used symbolic objects which “repurposed, recontextualized, and questioned” the latent violence of everyday life: the emergence of the “nuclear family” and middle-class prosperity from World War II, for example. An audience member—a Marine vet—approached him afterward.

“He told me he was moved by my performance. It made him reflect on his children and how our youth are pulled into this machine of creating violence,” Lefthand recalls. 

Later, Lefthand looked the vet up. Years before, he’d been put on trial for war crimes, though he was ultimately found not guilty. “Someone who believed so deeply in the culture of the Marine Corps and that culture of violence was able to watch me perform, and it caused him to then question, even just a little bit, this system that he had been a part of,” Lefthand says.

“Reckon and Reimagine”Through 6/4: open daily 10 AM-5 PM, Chicago Cultural Center, 78 E. Washington, chicago.gov, free

What had done it? Was it the setting—a veteran art show in the Chicago Cultural Center’s Grand Army of the Republic Rotunda? Was it Lefthand himself, also a former Marine? Was the man haunted by what he had done? Lefthand doesn’t know. He’ll likely never know.

Where the works in “Surviving the Long Wars” are, by necessity, hyper-individualized, the works in “Children of War”—all paper-based, rendered in acrylic, pastel, or watercolor—make for more diffuse interpretations. UIMA exhibits the artworks sans placards, leaving artist names, titles, dates, and provenance a mystery.

In the disparate and often overwhelming display, some themes nonetheless coalesce. Many children lean into patriotic symbolism, squaring off the Ukrainian blue-and-yellow against the Russian white, blue, and red. (One work, in a bit of sophisticated geopolitical commentary, shows blue-and-yellow silhouettes shielding themselves from missile fire with an umbrella decorated with the Swedish, Polish, and American flags; whether the umbrella symbolizes solidarity or futility is left to the viewer.) In others, anthropomorphic animals stand in as surrogates for the conflict—a terrier in a police vest, a cat curled next to a rifle and a helmet.

A child takes a picture at the opening reception of “Children of War,” at the Ukrainian Institute of Modern Art.Courtesy UIMA

Step into the one-room gallery, and you’ll also be confronted by a sea of sunflowers, Ukraine’s national symbol, many Van Gogh-like in their staccato elegance. The most devastating shows a line of sunflowers standing charred and skeletal before an ashen landscape. Like most of the works, it only bears the first name of its painter: “Катерина,” Katerina.

Yustyna Pavliuk knows all these artworks and the young artists behind them by heart. Since the outbreak of the war, Pavliuk and her mother, a professor at Lviv Polytechnic National University, have taught art at hospitals, orphanages, and distribution centers to more than a thousand displaced children, most between the ages of four and 14. Nataliia Pavliuk started the classes just days after the Russian invasion; Yustyna, herself a student at the Polytechnic, joined her once or twice a week between her own studies. 

Likewise, when she and Nataliia return to Lviv at the end of the month, they will rest for just one day before resuming classes once again. 

“The first day, you are shocked. You don’t know what to do. The second day, you try to deal with your plans. And then, you say, ‘I can’t sit in one place. I need to do something,’” Yustyna says.

Yustyna called me from New York City, where she and Nataliia were sightseeing before returning to Chicago; Nataliia, who understands English better than she speaks it, listened and chimed in occasionally from out of frame. Yustyna said their students usually shared their backstories gradually. Sometimes, color palettes offered their own tell. 

“Kids who are the most affected by war, the most traumatized, they use the brightest colors. They don’t use black at all,” she says.

One such drawing depicts two children, one holding a balloon, standing in front of a house. The work is a self-portrait of the ten-year-old artist, Veronika, and one of her friends, Danylo. The colors seem to leap from the page; Veronika’s hair is long and flowing. 

In reality, at the time she created the work, Veronika’s hair was cropped short, the result of extensive surgeries after her house in Vuhledar, a coal mining city in Donetsk, was leveled by a Russian tank. Her entire family was killed. So was Danylo, in a separate attack, and many of her friends. 

Unlike Tereska, Veronika could imagine “home”: the building in the work’s background. Yustyna says Veronika told her it was a house “where all of her friends who died could be in one place.” But, like Tereska’s “home,” that place does not—cannot—exist.

“It’s a very, very deep work,” Yustyna says. “It’s the hope of meeting her friends again, and also knowing it will never be the same, like it was.”

The most powerful photographs in “Chim” come from his Children of Europe series. The precocity and pain Chim captured still staggers. Two pocket-sized buskers swaggering like troubadours on the streets of Naples. Young boys working in a printing press in Hungary, the composition and light evoking Vermeer. A boy without arms, probably no older than 12, reading a book in Braille with his lips. In one of my favorites, a half-dozen Polish kids ham it up for Chim on a rickety-looking wooden jungle gym. Behind them looms the blown-out skeleton of the Warsaw ghetto; the playground was built to deter kids from exploring the rubble. If not vying to impress him, clearly Chim’s young subjects at least trusted him. 

School children waiting for a bus in the ruins of the destroyed ghetto, Warsaw, Poland, 1948Courtesy Illinois Holocaust Museum

That doesn’t surprise Shneiderman. To him, Chim was the favorite uncle who always brought back books and tchotchkes from his travels. “In terms of why he focused on children, it always seemed obvious to me. He was a very empathic person,” Shneiderman said, during his January 19 talk at the Illinois Holocaust Museum. 

Unlike fellow Magnum Photos cofounder Robert Capa, Chim wasn’t drawn to combat images. Instead he favored psychological portraits which, like Lefthand’s work, never let you forget the violence looming just out of frame. The exhibition concludes with the last five years of Chim’s career, spent in the Middle East, much of it in the nascent state of Israel. In one, an Italian settler named Eliezer Trito holds his newborn daughter aloft, beaming. The placard describes her as the first child born in the Alma settlement in Northern Galilee. 

What it doesn’t mention is that three short years before, there had been another Alma—an Arab village razed by the Israeli Defense Force, despite being denoted by the Israeli Minority Affairs Committee as a peacefully “surrendered” village. The ruins of the old Alma rest just half a kilometer west of the Jewish settlement.

In another photo, taken in an unspecified region of Israel, a young couple marries under a chuppah held aloft by guns and pitchforks. The subject and composition were so stark that one contemporary accused Chim of staging it. Life, yet again, springs from bloodshed, and the living are left to reckon with the emotional rubble. 

“There’s nothing more Zionist than that,” Holocaust Museum curator Arielle Weininger mused, staring at the wedding tableau.

In 1956, Chim was shot by Egyptian troops while covering the Suez Crisis. His family found out on the morning news when Shneiderman was nine. 

Today, Shneiderman oversees Chim’s estate, mostly handling licensing and research queries. As he settles into retirement from the University of Maryland, he devotes increasingly more time to managing his uncle’s legacy.

“Robert Capa is known for the phrase, ‘If your photos aren’t good enough, you’re not close enough,’” Shneiderman says. “A couple of the exhibits about Chim are called ‘Close Enough,’ because Chim got close enough emotionally. That’s just the spirit of who he was.” 

It’s all any of these exhibitions can be, grasping at terrors we all cower beneath yet never get an iota nearer to understanding: close enough.

Lisa Tashkevych contributed translation assistance for this article.

Read More