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It’s as simple as this: we all have sexual urges from time to time. Occasionally, we don’t have the energy required to find someone to meet IRL (in real life) for a quick hookup to satisfy our NSFW (not safe for work) needs. In the digital age, sexting is the newest form of casual sex available to us. We are lucky to have that type of human connection available to us by just the tap or click of a button.

For those of you who haven’t tried it, sexting is a unique way to sexually interact with a stranger or someone you know via messages, photos, videos, voice notes, and more. It’s instant, easy, and gets the job done! You don’t have to woo anyone or take them out for drinks before you start sexting. It can happen right away, with someone you’ve only met seconds before on a sexting site.

Sexting is also a much more reliable and safe way to engage in sexual activities with people you may or may not already know. That’s why we love these sites and apps. Is there a catch? Only one: There are so many hot sites to choose from! That’s why we’ve taken the time to list and review some of our favorites. Below you’ll find over 20 sexting sites that will get you off quickly! Oh, and most of them are free.

Best Sexting Sites and Apps For NSFW Messaging in 2023

Best Free Sites:

Best for local sexting – Instabang Best overall sexting website – ArousrBest new sexting site – SweetsextBest for messaging with models – SnapchatFor advanced sexters – SextFriendBest anonymous sexting site – SkibbelBest for sexting beginners – Sext LocalPopular sext and hookup app – TinderBest for couples who sext – BetweenGreat for intellectual sexting with real people – Zoosk

Best To Meet New People:

Best for dirty talk with local strangers – Ashley MadisonGreat for fetishes and kinks – Adult FriendFinderBest for shy people – FriendFinder-XBest for finding new naughty text friends – Kik FrienderExchange nudes with locals – BangSexting

Best Free Sexting Forums/Chat Rooms:

Best free random chat – Talk With StrangerMost reliable free sexting message board – /r/sextingfriendfinderPopular chat room site with all sorts of categories – ChatzyRaunchiest chat rooms with multiple people – LewdChat

Best Encrypted Messengers:

Most secure encrypted messenger – ConfideBest protection against screenshots – DustMost user-friendly messenger – SignalYou can erase messages from other devices – Wickr

1.) Instabang: Get Nudes Fast

Instabang, formerly known as SnapSext, is another free sexting site where you can pay for erotic texts. However, you won’t be paying by credit but rather paying for time-based packages. For example, you can pay by the day or sign up for an entire month.

Instabang has the quickest way to find someone to send you nudes. This is because it has an effective search engine, so you won’t waste your time browsing through their gigantic user base. It is also a way to find someone to hook up with, if you choose to search locally.

This is a sexting site with a lot to offer. There are regular people to talk to and professional sexters. But if you get bored sexting, you can always check out their live streams, cam girl chat rooms, nudes exchanges, and live video action.

2.) Sweetsext: Try Something New

From the wonderful folks who bring you Instabang comes SweetSext, a brand new sexting site that delivers the goods.

In most ways, SweetSext is the true spiritual successor of the famous SnapSext (RIP). The interface is almost identical and the girls are just as hot. Since it’s been a few years, the girls tend to be pretty experienced when it comes to dirty talking.

In addition to exchanging nudes, you can catch live stream content or chat with multiple girls at once in the chat rooms.

3.) Ashley Madison: Originally A Site For Affairs

Ashley Madison is an amazing website for meeting new people. Whether you are in the mood to sext, exchange photos, find a new hook up, or just fool around, Ashley Madison will deliver all of that to you and then some.

This site does get bad press because it’s famous (or shall we say, infamous) for supporting affairs. Oh well, we aren’t here to judge you for indulging in forbidden fruit. What we can say is that the people who sign up for Ashley Madison are always “in the mood.” That is what makes it so easy to find someone who is excited and willing to have a naughty chat with you. Even more exciting is that these people usually live close by to you, just in case you’re in the market for some physical action.

It should be mentioned that those you meet on Ashley Madison probably are going to be older than 20 years of age and they might already be in a “committed” relationship. But, it is still the best way to meet someone new to sext—hands down. Check out our full Ashley Madison review for more.

4.) Arousr: Meet Professional Sexters

Arousr is an exciting free sexting site where you can pay to sext (payment occurs in the form of credits). When you sign up for Arousr, they’ll gift you a sweet 100 free credits to chat with the paid talent.

Arousr is certainly a site that caters more towards men. Women sign up for Arousr because they enjoy sexting and want to get cash for it. When you use your credits on Arousr, you are essentially paying gorgeous ladies to flirt and send hot messages to you. There are pros and cons to this, but one thing we love about the credit system is that it incentivizes women to keep the chat extremely sexy and interesting.

This sexting site also has some fun features that you can take advantage of, like video chat or voice notes. And, like we said, these women you are paying have every reason to make your experience as enjoyable as possible.

5.) LewdChat: Erotic Chat Rooms

LewdChat is an anonymous sexting site where you can find someone to send erotic messages to in a snap. You literally only need to plug in a temporary username, and you’re off to the races!

Here is how most people use LewdChat to sext: First, they check out the chat rooms that LewdChat has to offer. They are set up like regular chat rooms, but the subject matter is raunchy. If you’ve ever experienced a chat room before, you will feel right at home. As people explore the chat rooms, they often find another user in the room that turns them on. If that user is down, the two will move to private messaging.

LewdChat is for someone who doesn’t have time to waste. They want to sext, and they want it right now. With the fast sign-up process and subsequent launch into naughty chat rooms, LewdChat makes it easy to find someone to sext. Don’t expect bells and whistles on this site though. It’s very basic, but that is on purpose.

6.) Bangsexting: Talk To Strangers About Your Fantasies

Bangsexting is a messaging platform where users come to express their sexual fantasies to hot strangers on the web. It’s an adult matching site that pairs compatible sexters with one another. And it’s strictly for sexting or hookups—not dating. This is made extremely clear when you visit the homepage. “No bots, no long dates, and no spending lots of money on unnecessary things,” are all part of the rules of Bangsexting.

Bangsexting was created as a place where people didn’t have to feel shy about their desire to sext. Through Bangsexting, you can chat with people in your area. This allows for the sexting to evolve into an in-person hookup, if that is what you’d prefer.

Signing up is easy and requires you to answer four questions about your sexting preferences. From there, you’ll be matched with other users on the site. Bangsexting also offers a feature which allows you to stay anonymous throughout the entire process.

7.) Reddit: Free Message Board

We’d be surprised if you haven’t already heard about Reddit. It’s one of the most popular message boards on the worldwide web, where people can come to express themselves on virtually any topic you can think of. This includes nudes and erotic messages.

There are plenty of messageboards (called subreddits) that cater to sexting fiends, but our favorite is r/sextingfriendfinder. It shouldn’t be hard to see why. The name of this subreddit pretty much says it all! It’s designed as a meeting place where strangers can come to find sexy friends. While you are searching for the erotic sexter of your dreams, you can explore the sexy or nude content that already exists on the forum.

Reddit is absolutely free to use, so you know the folks posting in sexting subreddits are there for the right reasons. In other words, you won’t be paying anyone to sext. These subreddits are full of genuinely horny individuals who want to have a little bit of fun. If someone wishes to be paid for their erotic texts, they will likely inform you right there on the subreddit page.

8.) Kik Friender: Find New People To Talk To On Kik

Kik has long been a reliable app for open-minded people. Plenty of sexters have used Kik (a free app) to connect with people because it’s an anonymous messaging app. It masks your identity through usernames within a sexy and accepting environment. But you need the username of the person you want to sext before you can enjoy all the perks that Kik has to offer. This can be done easily by searching the hashtag #kikme on Twitter, or you can use Kik Friender!

Kik Friender is a site that can be used in conjunction with Kik for the ultimate sexting experience. Use Kik Friender to find usernames of the hottest people around so that you don’t have to spend your time searching for those usernames. Kik Friender allows you to make friends all over the world and find new sexting partners to explore your fantasies with.

Right when you hit the homepage, Kik Friender introduces you to a list of beautiful people (primarily women) in the form of thumbnails. These people are selected based on their activity on the Kik platform. Keep in mind that many of the ladies found on Kik Friender are expecting to be paid for their nudes.

9.) Talk With Stranger: Unique Sexy Chat Rooms

Talk With Stranger is a random chatting site where no registration or payment is required. Yup, it’s totally free. Simply visit the website and get to meeting new people! But, beware of the ads that seem to overtake the homepage (the price you pay for free chat we suppose). Talk With Stranger has some of the best sex chat rooms available to you on the web, which is why it’s ideal for people who love sexting.

Talk With Stranger is a unique chat room site because it offers an array of desirable sexting categories for you to choose from. There are LGBTQ+ chat rooms, rooms for lonely people, younger chat rooms, and rooms for people who want to sext and find love. Pick a chat room that seems interesting and you’ll immediately be introduced to like-minded people.

If you connect with someone in a chat room, you always have the option to move from the public chat forum into a private chat room where pictures and videos can be exchanged. Talk With Stranger is a wonderful way to meet people to sext on the Internet discreetly and anonymously.

10.) SextFriend: Meet Other Experienced Sexters

SextFriend is a combination site that is for both sexting and adult dating. For a matching site, they’ve got one of the quickest and easiest sign-up processes. Within five minutes of hopping onto SextFriend, you could be sexting with a hottie.

SextFriend is not for those who are new to sexting. It doesn’t really hold your hand through the process. It’s for the more advanced sexters and adult daters who know exactly what they are looking for. SextFriend lets you sign up for their services and then throws you into the deep end of the adult dating pool. Whether you are searching for a hookup or a kinky conversation on the web, your fate is in your own hands when you use SextFriend.

SextFriend is known as a vibrant sexting community and caters to all sorts of sexting needs. Through the platform, you can meet people to sext, use their messaging feature, video chat, and send photographs. You can also move from texts to a real meetup in a jiffy if that’s what you are after. However, if you’d prefer to simply send naughty messages to people through the site, you can do that too.

11.) Chatzy: Most Straightforward Chat Site

Chatzy is a quick, straightforward, no-frills chatting platform. Though the website feels a bit out-of-date, it does a fantastic job at connecting people for the purposes of sexting and erotic chatting.

Joining the platform could not be easier. All you really need is to create a username. Once you do, you are welcome to enter one of the various Chatzy chat rooms and join in the conversation. There are all sorts of chat rooms on Chatzy, and they don’t all have to do with sexting. To find the naughty rooms, use the Chatzy search function to look up sexy keywords that will introduce you to the sexting chat rooms you prefer.

You can also create a chat room if you wish or move into a private room with another Chatzy user. For fast anonymous chat, Chatzy is a nice option because it doesn’t bog you down with any distractions or advertisements. It’s a plain and simple chat room platform with nothing standing in your way of juicy messaging. However, if you are trying to meet a local or have a more in-depth experience, we’d suggest looking elsewhere for your sexting needs.

12.) Skibbel: Random Sext Chat

Skibbel is a free application that was created specifically for sexting. It creates random chat opportunities with other people who want to send naughty messages, photos, or videos to one another.

If you are a fan of Omegle or Chatroulette, you’ll surely enjoy Skibbel. In fact, Skibbel calls itself the “better Omegle,” and we’d have to agree. Omegle has an old-school feel whereas Skibbel is a very modern, user-friendly, and attractive platform designed for sexting and sexting alone.

If you are a bit of an exhibitionist, you can take advantage of Skibbel’s livestream feature where you can broadcast a video of yourself to the Skibbel community. However, if you’d prefer to sext one-on-one with a stranger from around the globe, you can do that too.

Unlike Omegle, Skibbel requires that you set up a profile (don’t worry, it’s very simple and doesn’t take long). Skibbel prides itself on anonymity, so it will never ask you for your e-mail address or any identifying information. It just wants to know your gender, what you are looking for, and a sentence or two about yourself.

13.) Sext Local: Adult Dating App + Sexting Site Hybrid

Sext Local takes the features of a local dating app and applies it to a fun, free sexting site. With Sext Local, you will meet real people in your area to talk to. This is also good for someone who might want to meet IRL.

With other adult dating apps, it’s hard to know whether or not your match will be comfortable sexting immediately. With Sext Local, there is no guessing. All users who sign up must fill out a questionnaire that ensures that they are on board, willing to sext, and able to adhere to the safety guidelines.

Sext Local knows that images and videos are an important part of sexting, so they have features to accommodate that sort of communication. People love this site because the user base is full of real and genuine locals. Catfishes are few and far between on Sext Local!

14.) Snapchat: The Original Nudes App

Snapchat is an extremely popular app where folks can send each other disappearing images and utilize fun filters. If they want to share something with all of their Snapchat friends, they can create a story (similar to the ones you see on Instagram) that disappear after 24 hours. It’s easy to see why it’s referred to as the “original nudes app.” However, today it’s used mostly by tweens to communicate with one another through innocent images. Like all sites and apps, you need to be careful about who you are engaging with.

There are still plenty of people who use Snapchat for hot pics and texts. People feel good about using it for that type of material because it notifies users if their messages are saved or screenshotted.

Plenty of pornstars will use Snapchat as another way to lure customers and make a living. They often refer to their Snapchat handles as “Premium Snapchats” because they will cost you a premium to view and interact with. There are sites all over the web listing the best Premium Accounts that are worth spending your money on.

You can use Snapchat to securely sext with people you already know, meet new sexting friends, or engage with Premium accounts for a fee.

15.) Friend Finder X: A Casual Sexting Site

Friend Finder X is technically a hookup site, but sexting is widely encouraged between the users on the platform. On the home page, you will be informed that the folks you’ll meet through Friend Finder X are regular people, not pornstars or sexting professionals.

Most people use Friend Finder X to find casual sex, but they are always eager to flirt through the message function before meeting up. This means that raunchy communication happens frequently on the Friend Finder X platform.

Friend Finder X will put you through a small sign-up process and then introduce you to their user base in the form of thumbnail photos. If you are a man seeking a woman, you will notice that the ladies on Friend Finder X are on the younger and raunchier side.

It’s an adult dating site that aims to skip all the dating awkwardness and head straight to the sexual side of a casual relationship, so don’t be shy to initiate sexting with any of the Friend Finder X users who you meet.

16.) Confide: Most Secure Messenger App

Confide is an extremely secure instant messaging system. It’s basically the Fort Knox of sexting apps. But it’s not specifically for sexy chat. Confide is used by business professionals and regular people as a way to send encrypted messages. Each message that is sent or received immediately self-destructs after it is read. It is also screenshot-proof and encrypted.

This might feel like overkill for some, but sexting and exchanging nudes can be seriously risky when in the wrong hands. Using Confide is a way to confidently send those raunchy notes without the fear or paranoia that they’ll be leaked to the public or cause problems in your life.

Confide is not a site where you can go to meet new sexters. It’s best used with someone you already know as a way to keep sexting sexy, and without worry or fear.

17.) Dust: Most Anonymous Encrypted Messenger

Dust is very similar to Confide in that it’s an encrypted secure messaging system that can be used for nudes along with other confidential information. Its main function is disappearing messages and providing security.

You can use your social media platforms to sign up with Dust, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not secure. It is simply a way to figure out which of your friends or followers also use the Dust app. It’s good for seeing if an old flame or former hookup also uses Dust. However, if you don’t feel comfortable signing up with your social media account, you can always choose to provide the bare minimum which is simply a username and password.

All of your texts will self-destruct in 24 hours. You can also choose to delete messages if waiting 24 hours for destruction is too long. Dust is also clever in that it never shows your name on your messages. So if someone wants to be sneaky and take a photo of your messages on their phone with another device, Dust won’t allow your name or username to link in any way to that image. However, screenshotting isn’t disabled on Dust.

18.) Tinder: Swipe Through Potential Sexters

Tinder is a free hookup app that tons of people swear by. Its primary use is to find someone to either go on a date with or hookup with, but there’s no reason why it can’t be used for sexting.

Tinder is a swipe-based application that allows you to swipe left for “no” and right for “yes.” What are you saying yes or no to? It’s pretty much based on who you think is hot or not. When you find someone worth swiping right on, Tinder will notify you if it’s a match. Then, you can begin chatting.

If you want to find a sexting friend that could also be a hookup friend, Tinder is the app for you. However, you might find yourself wasting time on people who aren’t in the mood to sext with you. Many users of Tinder are seeking a relationship, so they aren’t keen on getting right to the sexual stuff. You might offend some folks with your naughty messages, but it’s OK because there are so many users on the app at any given time. You are bound to find someone quickly who wants to send naughty messages to you.

19.) Adult FriendFinder: Talk About Your Fantasies

Adult FriendFinder is a site recognized by many as an effective hookup site. It’s beloved by adult daters, swingers, and sexters. Hanging out on Adult FriendFinder is like going to a sex party. You never know who you are going to meet, but everyone is in the mood.

While it’s used primarily for meetups, the people on Adult FriendFinder love to sext. There are so many unique ways to chat with fellow hot strangers on Adult FriendFinder. You can sext through e-mail, instant chat, live streaming, or video chatting. You can also rate people based on their sex appeal.

Adult FriendFinder also makes your sexting search a breeze with their advanced search function. Narrow down your options by filtering by hotness rating, looks, or even kink. Adult FriendFinder is fantastic for those who have very specific fantasies and fetishes in mind.

20.) Zoosk: Meet Real People To Sext

Zoosk is a popular dating app that is used for a variety of relationship types. It’s on this list because sexting tends to be a popular activity for users of the app.

When you visit Zoosk, you’ll notice that the app itself feels very clean. There aren’t suggestive images and it presents itself as a serious dating app. You can browse other members on the app to figure out who you are attracted to. With 40 million people using Zoosk, you have many options to choose from.

It’s an adult dating app that requires verification, so catfishes and scammers never slip through the Zoosk cracks. That’s really what makes it great for sexting, aside from their massive selection of users.

Sexting is something you’ll need to ask for in the messages with your matches because it’s not explicitly what Zoosk was made for. That being said, sexting happens frequently between two Zoosk users who feel an attraction to one another.

21.) Wickr: Reliable Messaging Application

Wickr is a reliable, safe messaging app that is widely used amongst sexters and other people who wish to keep their information private. It’s rumored that Wickr is the messaging platform which celebrities use to safely and discreetly sext!

It’s become very popular because it is genuinely safe and secure. Wickr, like other messaging applications, utilizes end-to-end encryption for all types of messages (including text, video, photos, and more). It provides a secure way to exchange private messages with someone who you already know. It won’t introduce you to strangers on the web, but it will make you feel more at ease and secure with people who you already know.

Wickr doesn’t offer screenshot protection, but does have a very useful “Shredder” function. The Shredder allows you to permanently erase your messages, photos, or videos from another person’s device without issue. You can also select a time limit for all of your messages which causes them to self-destruct once that time limit is up.

22.) Between: App For Sexters In A Long-Distance Relationship

Between is a free sexting site for people who already know each other. This Korean-built chat app allows for multiple forms of private communication between two people. For instance, you can chat, call, send nudes, video call, and more.

It’s best used between people who might already be in a relationship (potentially a long-distance one) and want a platform that is used exclusively for their sexual mobile relationship. This has a lot to do with the other special features which Between offers. There is a way for two Between users to share each other’s schedules, making it easier to know when sexting is on or off the table. We can all agree that sexting is easiest when not in the middle of an important meeting or at breakfast with Mom.

Again, Between is free unless you choose to go premium. We can assure you that you won’t need to pay in order to enjoy Between. However, you can shell out some change if you want to experience some of their more personalized features.

23.) Signal: For Discreet Communication

Signal is a secure open-source messaging platform that is free for you to use. While it wasn’t created with sexting in mind, it offers the security you’d need to have discreet sexting fun.

Like other messaging applications, Signal is a place where you can send naughty encrypted messages to someone. You can also set your messages to self-destruct on a timeline of your choosing. Whereas other messengers will automatically destroy your messages immediately or within 24 hours, Signal gives you the power to control when the message disappears from your partner’s screen.

Signal is a fantastic sexting app for people who want to keep their nudes discreet. Worrying while sexting kind of takes all the fun out of it. Signal will help you keep that fear at bay and allow you to simply relish in your naughty fun! With Signal, you can send voice or text messages, videos, photos, and more.

How To SextThe idea of sending dirty words through a phone or computer might make you anxious, but that’s OK. With practice, you will begin to feel more comfortable and develop your own style of sexting. However, there are some things to know before you’re able to master the art of sexting.

Always get consent: It can be tempting to send unsolicited nudes to someone, but it’s never a good idea. You want enthusiastic consent before you engage in any sexual activity with another person, including sexting. Remember that your text partner is sharing intimate private thoughts or photos. Do not share or screenshot without their consent.Only do what you feel comfortable doing: Draw the line if you feel uncomfortable. Perhaps your sexting style doesn’t include photos or videos because sending those gives you anxiety. That’s fine! Set boundaries for yourself so that you can move through erotic messaging confidently.

Take the pressure off of yourself: Sexting isn’t something that people are automatically experts in. There is a learning curve to this. You might stumble through a few sexting sites and experiences before you get a rhythm going.

Get creative: Sexting is a writing exercise. You are using your words to evoke feelings of passion from your partner. That’s why you’ll want to use your imagination and creativity. Describe how you are feeling in intricate detail. It will keep things hot!

Have nudes on hand: Sexting is usually quite fast-paced. Having nudes in your library will make them easier to send quickly. That way, you don’t lose momentum by trying to get the perfect shot!

Example Sexts

This is a good example of a nice rhythm. The partners here are playing off of one another and carrying on as if they were speaking to one another. There is a building momentum here where you can tell that they are both really turned on.

These partners are very descriptive and making a nice use of emojis to convey passion. Notice how the woman is describing how she likes to be pleasured, and the man is responding by playing into her fantasy.

The man who is sexting is extremely specific, which makes it easier for his partner to respond. He also breaks up his sexts and it flows really well, as if he were telling a sultry story.

Sexting Site Safety TipsCybersex is hot, but it comes with some personal responsibility. When you meet someone new on the Internet, or share intimate photos, you immediately are placing yourself in a vulnerable position. For some, the risk is part of the thrill. But you always want to put your safety first.

Don’t give out your personal information: OK, we know this sounds silly. What could be more personal than a spread-eagle shot of your junk? Here, personal information refers to info such as your home address, banking information, social security number, and other identifying details. Sadly, scammers love to find prey anonymously through the Internet.
Use encryption when you need to: We’ve all seen tabloid headlines that read, “Celebrity Nudes Leaked!” The second-hand embarrassment is nearly tangible as we read an article containing images of the nudes or screenshots of Instagram DM sexts. Had those celebs simply sent their pictures through encrypted messenger, they wouldn’t be available for everyone to see. That’s why these apps are available to you too. Use them if they make you feel more secure while sexting.

Is Sexting Better Than Dating?First off, the two aren’t mutually exclusive. You can sext someone you are dating. You can also use apps to find a stranger to send naughty messages to. To answer the question simply, different strokes for different folks. Sexting is far more casual than in-person interactions. But there are major benefits to sexting:

It’s safe: If you can be smart about your privacy online, sexting sites offer ways to connect with new people without placing yourself in physical danger.

It’s easy: Sexting is very convenient. If you’ve got a phone and Internet connection, you can find someone to sext in just minutes.

It’s fun: Due to the veil of the Internet and the ability to remain anonymous, you might feel more comfortable letting your freak flag fly.

Read More

Traditional dating isn’t for everyone. Some people want serious relationships while others want something more casual, like a hookup. The taboo around casual dating has subsided in recent years. Casual daters have plenty of options, but most opt to try hookup sites to find what (and who) they want.

Different sites cater to different tastes. A site’s speciality is not always immediately apparent. So it can be a challenge to find the right site for you. That’s where we come in. We’ve signed up for and tried the best hookup sites and apps for casual encounters to get some action.

Let’s dive into the reviews and ratings.

Click ↓ next to the name of the site to jump straight to the review.

Best Hookup Sites and Apps for Casual Dating in 2023

RankSiteBest For1.Adult FriendFinder ↓Best overall hookup site2. BuddyBang ↓Runner-up3.BeNaughty ↓Best for flirtiest singles4.Ashley Madison ↓Best for affairs5.Seeking ↓Best for sugar baby/sugar daddy/mommy6.ALT ↓Best for alternative and BDSM sex7.OKCupid ↓Top choice for millennials8.Hinge ↓Somewhat serious, but mostly FWB9.Zoosk ↓Best for short-term dating10.Bumble ↓Best for women11.Plenty of Fish ↓Best for lots of options12.Tinder ↓Most popular app13.Pure App ↓Best for fantasy based14.Feeld ↓Most open-minded singles15.Sex Messenger ↓Best for anonymous hookups16.Reddit R4R ↓Best completely free option

1.  Adult FriendFinder – Best overall hookup site

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★

Adult FriendFinder is one of the oldest hookup sites and remains one of the most popular. oldest and most popular hookup site. Although its name sound relatively innocent, you can think of it as being short for “Adult Friends with Benefit Finder.”

Adult FriendFinder caters primarily to people looking for FWB, swinging, non-monogamous relationships, threesomes, and other more experimental arrangements. Whether you’re looking for something with NSA (no strings attached), a one-night stand to spice up your marriage, or a quick fling, you likely won’t have to go too far to find someone who’s interested.

Once you create a profile on Adult FriendFinder, you can customize your search quite a bit to make your search more efficient and find these like-minded people more quickly.

Adult FriendFinder also has bonus content such as webcam shows and erotic stories. So, if you need a little warming up before connecting with someone, you’re covered. In some senses, you can think of Adult FriendFinder as a kind of interactive PornHub, as it really is home to a large community of kinky and sex-positive people.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$39.95 totalThree months$26.95/month ($80.85 total)One year$19.95/month ($239.40 total)

What Users Think About Adult FriendFinder

“I was on another site. Met a guy who told me about Adult FriendFinder (AFF). I signed up. Have been on AFF for a little over a year and a half. Have nothing but praise. When AFF works, it WORKS! For the most part, I have met some truly wonderful men. Local men, business men coming through my area, couples. Overwhelmingly positive experience and exactly what I was looking for: no strings, no drama, casual sex.”

Need a little more info before taking the plunge? Check out our in-depth Adult FriendFinder review.

2.  BuddyBang – Runner-up

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★★Customer service★★★★★

As you might expect, BuddyBang is all about linking up people interested in no-strings-attached hookups or being friends with benefits. This no-judgment site operates like an express train to sex. Its goal is to be as simple as browse, chat, bang.

While you are not likely to find romance here, you will find plenty of passion. Horny adults flock to BuddyBang to chat and make new erotic connections. Ultimately, the goal is to arrange a meetup with a saucy stranger in your area. If you’re lucky, that one-night stand might turn into a longer-term arrangement.

With a relatively affordable monthly subscription and advanced search filters, getting laid on BuddyBang is fairly straightforward. In any case, it’s likely to be more efficient—and more bang for your buck (see what we did there)—than shelling out tons of cash for dinner dates that may lead nowhere.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$39.95 totalThree months$26.95/month ($80.85 total)One year$19.95/month ($239.40 total)

What Users Think About BuddyBang

“A lotta hookup sites out there, which means a lot of scams. Gotta be honest, at first I was skeptical of BuddyBang. Seemed like another fake site that just wanted your cash. But I was pleasantly surprised. More than that, I was very happy with my experience. I met a couple real girls here who, let’s just say, were down to get down. And that’s all I wanted. I wasn’t a creep. I kept it cool, wasn’t aggressive with messaging and it all worked. I recommend it!”

3.  BeNaughty – Best for flirty singles

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BeNaughty unsurprisingly attracts people who are kinky and after a good time. I mean, it’s right there in the name. Fortunately, breaking the ice is easy as BeNaughty gives users many different ways to connect. You can browse the gallery or enter a naughty chat room for potential dates. When you find someone you like, you can send a wink, a message, or start a live one-on-one chat.

BeNaughty works well because it gets right to the point. Users are looking for fast fun, leaving little time for hot and cold games. They want a hookup and they usually want it ASAP. BeNaughty uses a Tinder-type function that’s geography based, which helps keep your searches relevant. After all, who’s trying to drive (or fly) hundreds or thousands of miles for a one-night-stand?

Open-minded and discreet, BeNaughty provides many filtering options that help streamline your search, whether that’s for singles or couples to join. By adjusting your searches and filters, you can find your ideal scenario and dispense with people who aren’t a good fit for you.

Membership LengthPriceThree day trial$1.05/dayOne month$27.01 totalThree months$15.15/month ($45.45 total)Six months$12.24/month ($73.44 total)

What Users Think About BeNaughty

“Here you can be selective. The choice of profiles is quite large. The girls are active, many of them are constantly online. There are those who only like online communication and do not want to go on dates. However, it is their choice. If you are interested in online flirting, it will be a lot of fun with this site. Some people want more, so I’m still looking for someone to go on a real date with me.”

4.  Ashley Madison – Best for affairs

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Ashley Madison has the reputation of being a site for affairs and discreet married dating. Its slogan is literally “Life is short. Have an affair.” The brand has become notoriously in recent years for being a site for married people to flirt and hook up.

Since the site caters to people in relationships or looking to have sex with married people, Ashley Madison is generally a place where you don’t need to fear negative judgment. It’s a great site for anyone looking to add some excitement to their life and explore the world of extramarital affairs.

Ashley Madison is the first website dedicated to helping married people have affairs, and its highly committed to discretion. Despite the backlash and its somewhat negative reputation, this site remains popular and boasts a massive database that crisscrosses the globe.

Membership TierPriceBasic100 credits at $0.59/creditClassic500 credits at $0.34/creditElite1,000 credits at $0.29/credit

You message and live chat with users in exchange for credits. It’s about 5 credits to sent a message or 50 credits/hour to live chat. For more information about credits and other aspects of the site, see our full Ashley Madison review.

What Users Think About Ashley Madison

“As a woman, I can tell you that this site works. I’ve met and hooked up with a lot of great guys. However, I will say that since there are considerably more men than women on the site you have to make yourself stand out from the crowd. Women like to be wined and dined and brought on business trips, to a nice hotel, etc… Be patient, it works. I found a great guy who I have been hooking up with on a regular basis for over 2 years now and we are very happy with the arrangement.”

5.  Seeking – Best for sugar relationships

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Seeking may have undergone a brand transformation (fka Seeking Arrangement), but it still attracts a straightforward target audience: wealthy and experienced individuals seeking the young and attractive. This sugar daddy site is all about helping daddies and mommas find sugar babies or cubs for hookups.

There are many more women than men because the “sugar baby” focus attracts many young women to the site. In fact, Seeking claims to have four times the number of women than men in their database. The only real prerequisite for would-be sugar daddies is that they have money to throw around. They give priority to verified “elite members” who join with the sole intention of lavishing money and attention on would-be sugar babies.

While Seeking is a great site for beautiful young women looking for fun, attention, and a “daddy” to spoil them, it can be quite competitive for sugar babies. And the hopeless romantics out there are probably best avoiding sites such as Seeking in general. It’s much more geared toward hookups that may have a rather transaction-like feel.Women who’d like to meet a well-off older man also aren’t risking much with Seeking because it’s free for women seeking men.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$89.95/monthThree month$79.95/month ($239.85 total)Diamond (more premium features)$249.95/month

What Users Think About Seeking

“Came across them on Facebook and decided to spend a few bucks to find some men. Although not all the men were true to their description and some being scammers, it was pretty easy to find the genuinely interested ones from the fakes. It is a dating site for the wealthier crowd as we spend a lot of money but you can find a suitable candidate here.”

Still not sure or need more information? Check out our full Seeking review.

6.  ALT – Best for alternative relationships

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ALT is a full-on casual sex website. It’s not for anyone who is on the hunt for a serious relationship. This site is all about casual sex in every form to gratify any sex-seeker! The website’s community is made up of those who are into alternative bondage, who enjoy hooking up online, live, and in-person for sex dates.

It’s a dating site that caters to people who want to find alternative, BDSM, bondage, and fetish partners who can connect online and meet in person. ALT speaks to swingers, dominatrixes, and mistresses looking for power exchange.

ALT is the leading BDSM site, with almost 2 million members. You can easily customize your fetish and find someone who is into the same kinks as you! Remember that this site is all about kink, such as orgies, being humiliated, or being tortured, and not about vanilla sex. So, if you’re looking for just plain sex, opt for another option on this list.

Membership TierPriceSilver$19.95/monthGold$29.95/month

What Users Think About ALT

“Don’t listen to all the haters!!!! Alt.com is one of the best sites. Been using it in the past and it worked quite good. Nowadays I’d also try Casuasexonly.com and Fetlife.com. And there are also a few smaller sites that work but they are more ‘special niche sites’.”

7. OKCupid – Best for millennials and young people

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★Customer service★★★★★

OKCupid is a mainstream dating app that caters to many different kinds of relationships. It provides a multitude of choices for millennials looking not just for long-term relationships but options for short-term relationships, casual dating, and hookups. All you have to do is set that as what you are looking for, and they match you to like-minded people!

This site gears toward a generally younger audience—the age group between 18-29. This site is also one of the most inclusive mainstream dating websites that includes many gender and orientation options, helping you zero in on the particular pool of choices you want!

OKCupid may be a mainstream dating app that includes finding long-term relationships, but given its wide range of options, filters, and preferences, it’s a great app for hookups and casual sex as well. Just be up-front and be prepared to meet a great bunch of locals looking for the same things as you.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$19.95 totalSix months$9.95/month ($59.70 total)

What Users Think About OKCupid

“OkCupid is a dating app worth checking out. For the most part I have been disappointed with my dating app experiences. I have been pleasantly surprised with the results from OkCupid. There seems to be an endless supply of genuine women interested in a relationship. After several weeks of using the app for free, I decided to become a subscriber. I have been satisfied with my decision.”

8.  Hinge – Best for hybrid serious and FWB relationships

SpecificationRatingUser experience★★★★★Real profiles★★★★★Success rate★★★★Customer service★★★★★

Hinge is a mainstream dating app that focuses on finding real romance—but it is also used to find casual sex and friends with benefits. The truth about Hinge is that it’s “designed to be deleted.”

But fear not! This app is incredibly popular with the younger crowd (18 to 29 years of age) and has filters to state the nature of the relationship you’re interested in. This setup is the best for friends with benefits because you have to answer questions about yourself and your preferences, which will bring you closer to meeting someone you share similar interests with and are attracted to!

Hinge is a great hookup app for those who want to find a casual relationship where you hook up with the same person a few times instead of just a one-night stand. Just be straight up with what you’re looking for—and you might just meet a new FWB with absolutely no strings attached.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$19.95 totalThree months$20.99 totalSix months$29.99 total

What Users Think About Hinge

“Hinge is amazing! I think the thing that I like about it is that if you don’t pay it limits you to 10 likes a day and so it’s more likely that people will pay attention to you rather than getting distracted by yet another profile. And everyone is more careful about who they pick so if you match you’re more likely to talk I think. It also does a great job of conversation prompts that go with photos or without. Definitely check it out.”

9.  Zoosk – Best for short term dating

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Zoosk is a great short-term dating site that is internationally famous. It has a community of 35 million users in 80 different countries, and it is open to singles of all ages, races, religions, and sexual orientations—making it one of the most diverse casual dating apps.

This app may not be the best for casual hookups and one-night stands, but it is a good contender for short-term dating. If you’re in your early to mid-20s, you’ll find a great selection of singles who are interested in short-term or casual relationships.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$29.95 totalThree months$19.98/month ($59.94 total)Six months$12.49/month ($74.94 total)

What Users Think About Zoosk

“Satisfied with the outcome, pretty good dating site. I think the price is OK and I liked the option of pausing account, very useful when you’re trying to focus on one person. As we all know, it takes several attempts to meet someone you are really interested in.”

10.  Bumble – Safest for women

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Bumble has gained a reputation for being different from most other mainstream dating and hookup apps. If you haven’t heard of this app already, Bumble is one of the first and only sites where women make the first move and get to screen potential men immediately. Men simply cannot reach out to any women unless they’ve initiated contact and interest.

It is catered towards and attracts more women than men looking to mingle or find networking opportunities, friends, or hookups! Even though it has a relatively positive and clean rep, it’s a great site for educated, good-looking men who are searching for successful, bold women.

Membership TierPricePremium$8.99/month

What Users Think About Bumble

“The Bumble app has an easy format to navigate and I like that women have to make the first contact. That Helped me out of my comfort zone. I liked that you can adjust your distance from possible matches.”

11.  Plenty of Fish – Best for lots of options

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Plenty of Fish has the largest user base. POF was launched in 2003, being one of the oldest dating sites. Since it’s free and easy to sign up, you’re going to be exposed to a lot of different types of people, looking for different things, so you’ll have to filter through them all.

Since it’s been around for a long time, it has gained a reputation as a matchmaker site that will ask questions about your family, career, and interests to match you with similar users. It’s catered for people who want to dip their toes into dating and hookup sites to explore options.

Plenty of Fish may or may not have people looking for casual sex, depending on your luck. It’s a matchmaker site that is geared more for a long-term commitment. So you have to be prepared to screen different kinds of people.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$19.99/monthThree months$9.80/month ($29.40/total)One year$5.95/month ($71.40 total)

What Users Think About Plenty of Fish

“Plenty of catfish and foreigners who can’t speak English. However, even if you’re not a paid subscriber you can opt in for only paid subscribers. The site also provides an option for voice calls through the app. I’m going to try the site out for a month or so, then may upgrade to being a paid subscriber. POF has really improved its website since I was on it a year ago. Have fun and meet someone!”

12.  Tinder – Most popular app

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You didn’t think this list was going to end without this sex gem of an app, did you? Tinder is the most widely known hookup app of this generation. It has an infamous rep for finding casual sex ASAP.

Tinder caters to men and women looking to get laid based on appearance. It’s known for its classic swiping left to reject and swiping right to like someone’s profile. If you’re looking for sex, Tinder has a huge user base and a large number of locals, meaning you can probably secure a sex date tonight—but the catch is that your profile needs to stand out. If you’re not conventionally attractive, you’re going to struggle to find dates.

For men who can’t seem to find dates, Tinder has a large user base of escorts who will private message their rates. If you’re horny and want it—then maybe you can meet a potential escort on Tinder.

Membership Length/TierPriceLimited SwipesFreeOne month$9.99 total if you’re under 30One month$19.99 total if you’re over 30

What Users Think About Tinder

“I’ve been using tinder for quite some time and I really enjoy it! I travel a lot and t’s great way to meet new people. Tinder has a feature called Face To Face you can use to video chat within the app. Tinder has on-demand safety features via Noonlight, which offers a Timeline feature where users can share first date details on their Timelines, like who they’re meeting, when and where. Users can also discreetly contact emergency services via Noonlight.”

13.  Pure App – Best for fantasy based hookups

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Pure App was created for shameless and judgment-free fantasy and desire-based dating. This app is purely for NSA affairs and is completely secretive and anonymous. It encourages its users to be whoever they choose to be and still be themselves.

It caters to people who have wild fantasies or desires that aren’t celebrated on mainstream dating and hookup apps. It allows your individuality to shine through—choosing your gender and sexuality—and providing guaranteed privacy and safety to video chat and meet whoever shares the same fantasies as you.

Pure App uses your GPS location on your phone to find other Pure users looking for some NSA action. You just have to post a photo and an up-front headline and wait to see if anyone close is interested. When you’re done, your profile will vanish, along with all your messages and photos—no need to worry about deactivating or privacy issues.

Membership LengthPriceOne week$14.99 totalOne month$19.99 total

What Users Think About Pure App

“I am a 25 year old attractive woman, I have never been on a site before however After almost a year of dating and taking things slowly and 4 months of not being interested enough to take things further, I broke and downloaded pure. Downloaded Wednesday, Thursday (yesterday) spontaneously arranged to meet a really really attractive guy who spent a few great hours with me. We got along really well. I also had a video chat with a really attractive couple who I’ll be meeting soon. I’m speaking to other really attractive guys as well.”

14.  Feeld – Best for adventurous singles

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Feeld is a hookup app for couples and singles to explore their kinks and desires in a no-judgement atmosphere.

It includes couples’ accounts where you and your partner can date a lover or meet someone for a threesome. It’s inclusive for all genders and sexual orientations. Overall, it’s a sex-positive space for anyone looking to explore beyond “the norm” in today’s society.

Feeld prides itself on being responsible and ethical. It connects people with like-minded folk and encourages curious monogamous couples to link with partners who are also interested. It is a safe space that allows couples to explore their desires in the most honest way possible.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$14.99 totalThree months$29.98 total

What Users Think About Feeld

“It’s called the ‘Tinder for threesomes’ for a reason. I’ll let you do the imagining.”

15.  Sex Messenger – Best for anonymous hookups

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Sex Messenger is an anonymous instant messaging app—like WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger. But you never share your name because it’s meant to be discreet and only for sexting and trading nudes.

This app is an adult social network that is much more than an online sex chat. It caters to people who want to connect with other people who want to engage in sex and dirty talk, and fulfill each other’s sexual fantasies. Instant messaging on this app and posting blog entries will help you gain the attention you want from like-minded people.

All members must verify their accounts, so this weeds out fake profiles, scammers, and bots. Members can contribute to the website through Sex Messenger’s forums, chats, group sections, sex stories, and blogs. It’s all anonymous and fully discrete. This app is a great way to sext, increase sexual tension, and finally meet up to do the deed.

Membership LengthPriceOne month$14.95 total

What Users Think About Sex Messenger

“I’m recently single and wanted to have a little fun but was skeptical about trying something online. You hear about the horror stories. I found Sex Messenger and immediately thought SCAM. But I gave it a shot and found a couple fun guys within a couple weeks. I didn’t need to renew my membership.”

16.  Reddit R4R – Best completely free option

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Reddit R4R is one of the best options for browse casual sex options for free. If you’re looking for a hookup but don’t want to sign up, post photos of yourself, and write out a bio to describe who you are and what you want . . . you found the site for you!

This site works as a personals subreddit. It works like any other subreddit. Anyone can post—no photos, no personal information needed! All you have to do is list some things about yourself and the type of person you’re looking for. And then you wait to see if anyone responds to your post.

Reddit R4R is free, so all you have to do is download the Reddit app, and you don’t need to worry about spending money. If you want to be a trusted member and not get blocked, just follow the posting rules! Users love this site to get laid because it’s easy to use, free, and starts an instant conversation with like-minded people.

Membership TierPriceUnlimitedFree

What Users Think About Reddit R4R

“Look, it’s Reddit. You ‘get what you pay for,’ but it’s cool to scroll the profiles and chat for free. Too many guys but I definitely found and met up with a couple hotties.”

Hookup Site Guide

Still on the fence about whether or not you should start using hookup apps? Or maybe you’re already using them but want some more information? Check out this useful guide to answer any lingering questions you may have and walk away with some important safety tips about casual sex.

What Makes a Hookup Site Good?

It’s important to note that different sites cater to different kinds of people. So before creating a profile on any old hookup site, read the reviews to make sure it meets your needs.

Here are a few tips to find the best hookup site specific to you:

If you have a particular kink or preference, keep an eye out for it. (example: Looking for discreet affairs? Ashley Madison is the one for you!)
Make sure the size of the user base is relatively large. More options mean a better chance of finding someone to hook up with.
Find a site that allows users to be up-front about what they want. Usually, apps have preferences, and you can set yours to “casual relationship” or “hookup.”
Make sure the customer service contact information is front and center. You shouldn’t have to go on an expedition to contact the site.

FAQs About Hookup Sites

Q: Are hookup sites safe?

Like any online dating platform, reputable hookup sites have embedded safety features that still require user discretion. It can be dangerous if you don’t take proper safety measures. Generally, these sites and apps regulate safety by banning bots and scammers and have options to report any bad or suspicious behavior. So if you’re planning on joining, be aware and try your best not to be too gullible—you can never be sure who you will come across online!

Q: Are there any completely free hookup sites?

It sucks that most dating apps and casual sex apps require you to subscribe to get optimum results. But sites like Reddit R4R and Craigslist Activities offer a free platform to chat, flirt, and arrange sex dates. But the only downside is that there is no moderation and you won’t be talking to a verified profile and have to be extra cautious.

Q: What hookup sites are free for women?

The reality is that dating apps make it very easy for women to find sex. Most high-rated dating sites offer women free memberships (mostly to balance out the male/female ratio on their site). Sex sites that are free for women include Bumble, OkCupid, Tinder, Seeking, Hinge, Her, and Pure.

Q: What is the best LGBTQ+ option?

Though there are a few options, only two rise to the top. HER is the best for women seeking women and Grindr is best for men seeking for men. These two sites also cater to non-binary people.

Final Verdict

If you’re looking for some action tonight, welcome to the world of casual sex sites and apps.

The best hookup sites are on top for a reason—everyone on there is eager to find sex and casual flings just like you! More than mainstream dating apps that cater to a plethora of things such as long-term dating, friendships, and so on, hookup apps are catered only towards sex and NSA fun!

The best hookup site is Adult FriendFinder (AFF) followed closely by BuddyBang. AFF emphasizes anonymity, safety, a massive user base, and a brand name that is verified. Most people on this site are looking for a good time with so many different types of kinks and fantasies. So what are you waiting for?

Hopefully, this list gives you an idea of what sex app is the best for you to get started on today.

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The Chicago Cubs were terrible in 2022. Things were awful at the start to the point where a solid second half didn’t even slightly get them close to the playoff race. They went into this off-season with a clear plan that would allow them to compete in 2023.

It is still hard to see them being one of the six best teams in the National League but they will fight for that six-to-eight range if pretty much everything goes their way. They also have the advantage of playing in the National League Central which is one of the lesser divisions in the league.

They hope that the free agent signings that they made are able to help them in their quest to become a much better team this year. For a lot of the free-agent decisions that they made this year, there seems to be one common theme.

Most of the signings that they made have one thing in common. Dansby Swanson, Cody Bellinger, Eric Hosmer, and Trey Mancini are all World Series champions.

The Chicago Cubs are bringing in some impressive players for 2023 and beyond.

Swanson won it with the Atlanta Braves in 2021, Bellinger won it with the Los Angeles Dodgers in 2020, Hosmer won it with the Kansas City Royals in 2015, and Mancini won it with the Houston Astros in 2022.

With this group, there is a lot of experience with multiple different organizations that did things much differently. The younger players on the Cubs are going to learn a lot from these guys as they bring a very unique perspective to the group.

Since Anthony Rizzo, Javier Baez, Willson Contreras, and Kris Bryant amongst others are all gone, Kyle Hendricks is the only playoff battle-tested player left so these new guys can be very valuable.

A guy like Dansby Swanson had elite production in 2022 which is why he comes to the Cubs on a very lucrative contract. Bringing recent World Series experience along with that resume of regular season production will really help the team.

These aren’t the only four moves that the Cubs made but it is notable that they are the four biggest moves and they are all champions. It may be a coincidence but it also might be something that the Cubs valued when coming up with their off-season plans.

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Olivia Lilley Credit: Matthew Gregory Hollis

When Olivia Lilley took on the job of artistic director at Prop Thtr (one of the oldest off-Loop theaters in the city) in 2018, her DIY/punk aesthetic seemed like a good fit for taking the company into the next era. Even before assuming the AD role, Lilley had made a mark with site-specific, immersive productions with her own company The Runaways, including a living-room tour of her version of Faust. She’d also presented work in the annual Rhinofest, Chicago’s oldest running celebration of fringe and experimental new work, which was at the time coproduced by Prop and Curious Theatre Branch.

Yet as she told Reader contributor KT Hawbaker in 2019, Lilley wanted to preserve the Prop spirit of experimentation (she’s a big proponent of devised work, where an ensemble creates the text in collaboration with the director) while moving the company toward a greater sense of stability for artists. As she said to Hawbaker, “When I got here, everybody was friends and now they’re more like colleagues. . . . They were resistant to clear contracts or even nailing down job responsibilities. Over the past year, everybody has really come around to valuing organization and putting that extra effort in towards communication.”

A little over a year after that interview, Prop decided to give up its longtime two-venue space on North Elston in Avondale in the wake of the COVID-19 shutdown. Now Lilley is also ready to move on from Prop. And while her journey seems to be pointing her away from theater in general, the future of Prop is also on a new trajectory. 

When I caught up with her earlier this week, Lilley mentioned a few new plans. One is that she’s focusing more on film than theater. A script she wrote was selected for the inaugural Independent Producers Lab with Full Spectrum Features in 2020.

“It was a nine-month crash course in indie filmmaking,” says Lilley. “Basically, the whole experience was extremely positive for me artistically. Everything I liked about producing theater was like more vivid and specific and higher stakes in film.” That led to Lilley pursuing an MFA in screenwriting from the University of Nebraska Omaha. (She is currently adjunct faculty in DePaul’s School of Cinematic Arts.) 

But it’s not just the new opportunities in film that prompted Lilley’s decision. She has questions about the models used to run storefront theater overall—indeed, about the future of arts in America itself. In fact, she’s launching a new podcast in March called . . . The Future of Arts in America.

“Every episode I will basically interview an artist-producer or artist-entrepreneur of some kind who’s trying to envision some new model, whether it’s in film, visual arts, theater, performance, what have you,” says Lilley. “I’ve done a lot of different kinds of attempts at coalition building, which have had varying degrees of success throughout the years. I think the big problem, though, is that no two storefront companies are alike. Every single storefront has a board, they have some kind of staff, they have artists, but every single one of them operates like it’s night and day.”

The last project under Lilley’s tenure at Prop will be Panther Women: An Army for the Liberation by India Nicole Burton, which will be coproduced this spring with Perceptions Theatre in a south-side location. Originally announced for fall of 2022, Panther Women is, as the title suggests, a portrait of women within the Black Panthers. Perceptions artistic director Myesha-Tiara will direct. It’s slated as a rolling world premiere with the National New Play Network, a nonprofit coalition of theaters focused on new work, which Prop helped cofound in 1998. Lilley notes that Burton is one of her best friends, and that an earlier version of the play was in the 2020 Rhinofest, just before the shutdown.

Perceptions and Prop may have different missions, but both theaters focused on providing paid work for artists during the shutdown. “One of the things that I am really proud of Prop for having accomplished is that after lockdown, we really started to allocate our resources in a way where people were all getting compensated a lot better for less work,” says Lilley. The company also produced online festivals and started a commissioning program for new work. One of those commissions resulted in a world premiere production of Hallie Paladino’s play The Cleanup [produced at the Athenaeum in October 2022].

Lilley will officially step down from the artistic director’s position on June 1, but she’ll stick around on the Prop board through the end of the year as the company figures out next steps. “We will be doing a strategic plan where we really look at the structures that created my position and try and figure out: how do we really question all of our assumptions and build potentially a new model of leadership—or fold the company.”

That last part sounds ominous, but Lilley says, “I think it’s really important to state that this is not like I had a terrible time and I’m leaving angrily in any shape or form. I deeply love these people. But I definitely have questions about the sustainability of this particular storefront, but also storefront theater in general as we know it.”

Ken-Matt Martin takes the (temporary) reins at Baltimore Center Stage

As I wrote in the Reader year in review issue last month, the future of Victory Gardens remains cloudy. (The company’s website has been down for over a month.) But former Victory Gardens artistic director Ken-Matt Martin has accepted a post as interim artistic director for Baltimore Center Stage. He’ll be taking over from Stephanie Ybarra, who held the post for five years and is moving over to a program officer position with the Mellon Foundation. Martin’s production of Nia Vardalos’s Tiny Beautiful Things opens at Baltimore Center Stage in March.

Tragedy in the comedy community

The transition from 2022 to 2023 has not been entirely kind to Chicago’s comedy artists. On December 16, longtime performer and improv teacher Noah Gregoropoulos, who guided the early careers of Rachel Dratch, David Koechner, Tim Meadows, and Adam McKay (among many others), died of cancer at 63. In a Sun-Times obituary by Darel Jevens, McKay said, “No one was smarter, funnier and no one loved improvisation more. No one. This is a big loss.” 

This past Tuesday, January 17, former Second City performer Michael Lehrer, who had ALS, chose to die in Portland, Oregon, “with dignity on his own terms,” according to his life partner Colette Montague. Lehrer was 44. Even while the disease took its toll, Lehrer continued to perform comic monologues onstage from his wheelchair. As Jevens noted in his Sun-Times obit, one of his lines was “I have ALS . . . One question: Where the fuck did all that ice bucket money go?” Lehrer was also a regular on the comedy podcast Kill Tony.

And on Monday, January 9, Elizabeth McQuern died unexpectedly at her home. McQuern was a photographer and videographer who specialized in capturing comedians, as well as a longtime producer for Chicago Underground Comedy at Beat Kitchen.

There are GoFundMe pages for Gregoropoulos’s widow, Linda Orr; Lehrer’s son Colin; and for McQuern’s husband, Bryan, and their son, Champ. A Chicago memorial for McQuern is planned for Saturday, January 28, 1 PM, at Firehouse Studios, 1545 West Rosemont.

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Olivia Lilley Credit: Matthew Gregory Hollis

When Olivia Lilley took on the job of artistic director at Prop Thtr (one of the oldest off-Loop theaters in the city) in 2018, her DIY/punk aesthetic seemed like a good fit for taking the company into the next era. Even before assuming the AD role, Lilley had made a mark with site-specific, immersive productions with her own company The Runaways, including a living-room tour of her version of Faust. She’d also presented work in the annual Rhinofest, Chicago’s oldest running celebration of fringe and experimental new work, which was at the time coproduced by Prop and Curious Theatre Branch.

Yet as she told Reader contributor KT Hawbaker in 2019, Lilley wanted to preserve the Prop spirit of experimentation (she’s a big proponent of devised work, where an ensemble creates the text in collaboration with the director) while moving the company toward a greater sense of stability for artists. As she said to Hawbaker, “When I got here, everybody was friends and now they’re more like colleagues. . . . They were resistant to clear contracts or even nailing down job responsibilities. Over the past year, everybody has really come around to valuing organization and putting that extra effort in towards communication.”

A little over a year after that interview, Prop decided to give up its longtime two-venue space on North Elston in Avondale in the wake of the COVID-19 shutdown. Now Lilley is also ready to move on from Prop. And while her journey seems to be pointing her away from theater in general, the future of Prop is also on a new trajectory. 

When I caught up with her earlier this week, Lilley mentioned a few new plans. One is that she’s focusing more on film than theater. A script she wrote was selected for the inaugural Independent Producers Lab with Full Spectrum Features in 2020.

“It was a nine-month crash course in indie filmmaking,” says Lilley. “Basically, the whole experience was extremely positive for me artistically. Everything I liked about producing theater was like more vivid and specific and higher stakes in film.” That led to Lilley pursuing an MFA in screenwriting from the University of Nebraska Omaha. (She is currently adjunct faculty in DePaul’s School of Cinematic Arts.) 

But it’s not just the new opportunities in film that prompted Lilley’s decision. She has questions about the models used to run storefront theater overall—indeed, about the future of arts in America itself. In fact, she’s launching a new podcast in March called . . . The Future of Arts in America.

“Every episode I will basically interview an artist-producer or artist-entrepreneur of some kind who’s trying to envision some new model, whether it’s in film, visual arts, theater, performance, what have you,” says Lilley. “I’ve done a lot of different kinds of attempts at coalition building, which have had varying degrees of success throughout the years. I think the big problem, though, is that no two storefront companies are alike. Every single storefront has a board, they have some kind of staff, they have artists, but every single one of them operates like it’s night and day.”

The last project under Lilley’s tenure at Prop will be Panther Women: An Army for the Liberation by India Nicole Burton, which will be coproduced this spring with Perceptions Theatre in a south-side location. Originally announced for fall of 2022, Panther Women is, as the title suggests, a portrait of women within the Black Panthers. Perceptions artistic director Myesha-Tiara will direct. It’s slated as a rolling world premiere with the National New Play Network, a nonprofit coalition of theaters focused on new work, which Prop helped cofound in 1998. Lilley notes that Burton is one of her best friends, and that an earlier version of the play was in the 2020 Rhinofest, just before the shutdown.

Perceptions and Prop may have different missions, but both theaters focused on providing paid work for artists during the shutdown. “One of the things that I am really proud of Prop for having accomplished is that after lockdown, we really started to allocate our resources in a way where people were all getting compensated a lot better for less work,” says Lilley. The company also produced online festivals and started a commissioning program for new work. One of those commissions resulted in a world premiere production of Hallie Paladino’s play The Cleanup [produced at the Athenaeum in October 2022].

Lilley will officially step down from the artistic director’s position on June 1, but she’ll stick around on the Prop board through the end of the year as the company figures out next steps. “We will be doing a strategic plan where we really look at the structures that created my position and try and figure out: how do we really question all of our assumptions and build potentially a new model of leadership—or fold the company.”

That last part sounds ominous, but Lilley says, “I think it’s really important to state that this is not like I had a terrible time and I’m leaving angrily in any shape or form. I deeply love these people. But I definitely have questions about the sustainability of this particular storefront, but also storefront theater in general as we know it.”

Ken-Matt Martin takes the (temporary) reins at Baltimore Center Stage

As I wrote in the Reader year in review issue last month, the future of Victory Gardens remains cloudy. (The company’s website has been down for over a month.) But former Victory Gardens artistic director Ken-Matt Martin has accepted a post as interim artistic director for Baltimore Center Stage. He’ll be taking over from Stephanie Ybarra, who held the post for five years and is moving over to a program officer position with the Mellon Foundation. Martin’s production of Nia Vardalos’s Tiny Beautiful Things opens at Baltimore Center Stage in March.

Tragedy in the comedy community

The transition from 2022 to 2023 has not been entirely kind to Chicago’s comedy artists. On December 16, longtime performer and improv teacher Noah Gregoropoulos, who guided the early careers of Rachel Dratch, David Koechner, Tim Meadows, and Adam McKay (among many others), died of cancer at 63. In a Sun-Times obituary by Darel Jevens, McKay said, “No one was smarter, funnier and no one loved improvisation more. No one. This is a big loss.” 

This past Tuesday, January 17, former Second City performer Michael Lehrer, who had ALS, chose to die in Portland, Oregon, “with dignity on his own terms,” according to his life partner Colette Montague. Lehrer was 44. Even while the disease took its toll, Lehrer continued to perform comic monologues onstage from his wheelchair. As Jevens noted in his Sun-Times obit, one of his lines was “I have ALS . . . One question: Where the fuck did all that ice bucket money go?” Lehrer was also a regular on the comedy podcast Kill Tony.

And on Monday, January 9, Elizabeth McQuern died unexpectedly at her home. McQuern was a photographer and videographer who specialized in capturing comedians, as well as a longtime producer for Chicago Underground Comedy at Beat Kitchen.

There are GoFundMe pages for Gregoropoulos’s widow, Linda Orr; Lehrer’s son Colin; and for McQuern’s husband, Bryan, and their son, Champ. A Chicago memorial for McQuern is planned for Saturday, January 28, 1 PM, at Firehouse Studios, 1545 West Rosemont.

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The Chicago Blackhawks have been one of the worst teams in the league this season but have been on an absolute roll lately. On Thursday night, looked to keep their winning ways going.

The Philadelphia Flyers aren’t having the best season ever but a recent surge has them feeling good about their game at the moment as well. When the season is over, both of them will be on the outside looking in.

The Chicago Blackhawks haven’t won in Philadelphia in multiple decades. 1996 was the last time it happened. Of course, this only includes the regular season as the Hawks won the Stanley Cup there in 2010.

It is just one of those stats that is a little bit surprising for anyone that watches hockey regularly. How does a team go a quarter of a century without beating a specific team on the road? Finally, they got it done.

The Chicago Blackhawks earned a huge win on the road in Philadelphia.

At 8:52 of the first period, Morgan Frost gave the Philadelphia Flyers a 1-0 lead making it seem like they would keep the streak going. It was not the way that Chicago mapped out the start of the game.

That would be the only goal scored by the Flyers in this one though. From there, Jonathan Toews and the Hawks scored four unanswered goals and won the game by a final score of 4-1. That happened to be the same score of the game they last won in Philly in 1996.

Toews got the game tied and then Reese Johnson, Tyler Johnson, and Philipp Kurashev scored one each after that. Getting the win was an outstanding group effort.

The Blackhawks are in the Connor Bedard sweepstakes right now but all of this winning does decrease their odds. They want to feel good about themselves but it would be nice if the teams around them in the standings won just a little bit more too.

Next in line for the Blackhawks is the rival St. Louis Blues on Saturday night. Neither team is where they want to be right now but this is always a premier NHL matchup just because of the two teams playing. These are the types of matchups that the players get up a little more for.

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Norwegian artist Helge Sten, who makes music as Deathprod, trades not in massive dynamic shifts but in uniformly gray ambient soundscapes. He typically uses a variegated array of homemade electronics, samplers, out-of-date processors, and other audio detritus that echo, hiss, and throb like futuristic boilers arduously coming online while retro steampunk conglomerations cough and doppler away. His new album, Compositions, doesn’t radically differ from this formula, but it seems like an advancement or at least a distillation. Sten’s 2019 album, Occulting Disk, spread grainy smears of sound across monumental tracks in an assault of brown noise. Compositions, by contrast, pares his sound back to its essence. Its 17 compact pieces feel like they’re constantly on the verge of diffusing and collapsing into particles of dust. Sten called Occulting Disk an antifascist ritual, but Compositions seems more like an evocation of cyberpunk exhaustion and emptiness—it doesn’t blare defiance but rather crawls and scrapes into a resolute, alien form. Compositions is dreamy, poetic, and sad, but at the same time it rejects such emotions in favor of staring blankly at microscopic fractures in a tall, bleak wall.

Deathprod’s Compositions is available through Bandcamp.

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Norwegian artist Helge Sten, who makes music as Deathprod, trades not in massive dynamic shifts but in uniformly gray ambient soundscapes. He typically uses a variegated array of homemade electronics, samplers, out-of-date processors, and other audio detritus that echo, hiss, and throb like futuristic boilers arduously coming online while retro steampunk conglomerations cough and doppler away. His new album, Compositions, doesn’t radically differ from this formula, but it seems like an advancement or at least a distillation. Sten’s 2019 album, Occulting Disk, spread grainy smears of sound across monumental tracks in an assault of brown noise. Compositions, by contrast, pares his sound back to its essence. Its 17 compact pieces feel like they’re constantly on the verge of diffusing and collapsing into particles of dust. Sten called Occulting Disk an antifascist ritual, but Compositions seems more like an evocation of cyberpunk exhaustion and emptiness—it doesn’t blare defiance but rather crawls and scrapes into a resolute, alien form. Compositions is dreamy, poetic, and sad, but at the same time it rejects such emotions in favor of staring blankly at microscopic fractures in a tall, bleak wall.

Deathprod’s Compositions is available through Bandcamp.

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At this point in the month, our best intentions around New Year’s resolutions can seem a little less sparkly than they did at 12:01 AM on New Year’s Day. Is your Dry January turning into a real struggle? It can be difficult to change entrenched patterns in our lives and move through to a new way of being.

In the midwest, in winter, it’s hard to find a friendly community as an adult without alcohol. Most of our social lives revolve around alcohol-centered spaces. Think about it: You want to catch up with a friend? You head to a bar to grab a drink and chat. You want to see live music or a play? There’s always a beer or a glass of wine in the lobby or at the bar. Even weekend daytime meals can become mimosa-soaked affairs.

To combat this, Cristina Torres, the owner of Bendición Dry Bar, is forging a new path among the sober and sober curious. Torres went looking for a like-minded community when she got sober in 2020 because so many of her social interactions and friend time revolved around alcohol-centered spaces. She was faced with deciding between spending time with friends in those spaces and feeling like she wanted to drink, or not hanging out with friends at all.

“When I first got sober, I realized I had nowhere to really go. I found myself sitting on one of the benches by the eagle statue in Logan Square in mid-February at like 8 at night. I was like, ‘I don’t want to go home, but I also don’t want to go to a bar because I know I’m going to drink. I can’t go to a café, because most of them close at 4 or 5. There’s not another space for people like me,’” Torres recounted.

“Bendición was born out of a need for an alternative to the usual Chicago nightlife options currently available,” she continued. “On a cold February night, walking home from the bar crying at 2 AM, I knew there had to be something better for us—somewhere we didn’t feel excluded for not drinking, somewhere it didn’t feel awkward asking for a mocktail, somewhere we didn’t feel alone.”

Torres turned to Instagram and found a growing group of like-minded sober and sober curious folks in Chicago and across the country. She also started playing around with making zero-proof cocktails and creating sober options on menus in partnership with local bars like The Native, where she was a regular when she was still drinking.

“At The Native, I asked if for dry January in 2021 they would be interested in me providing recipes and products for nonalcoholic cocktails for their bartenders to make. We didn’t end up doing it until February that year, but it was successful, and they saw a big boost in their sales and people coming out just for that. It was such a hit that they added zero-proof cocktails to their regular menu,” Torres explained.

From there, she launched Bendición with a successful $15,000 GoFundMe and started doing pop-up sober events at spaces on the west side. She eventually partnered with The Succulent City, a plant shop, moving into the back of their storefront at 2540 W. Division in Humboldt Park. She then started the work of creating both Bendición, her zero-proof bottle shop, and a vibrant sober community. Over the last year, she has turned Bedición’s half of the space into a cozy and inviting spot where the sober and sober curious can come and sample zero-proof libations from her shop. They also have regular programming of fun social events like the Blessed variety show, Dungeons and Dragons night, and queer and BIPOC sober socials. Torres also wants to encourage people to just come and hang out.

“It’s super easy for people who have stopped drinking or are in recovery to self-isolate and feel like they’re by themselves. When they get sober, people lose friends because they’re not going out drinking anymore. I wanted to make a space where people know that they’re not alone.”

Besides her own sobriety, Torres has a very personal reason for creating this sober community, “In December of 2021, one of my really good friends—James—passed away after he was hit by a drunk driver. In our friend group, he was somebody who never said ‘no.’ When he set his mind to something, he did it. So to honor his memory, I’ve been working on saying ‘yes’ to things in my life. When he passed, the idea for the bar had kind of started and I was like, ‘OK, this is super scary and something I never, ever thought that I could do, so let’s see how far I can take it.’ That’s what James would have wanted.”

Bendición Dry Bar & Non-Alcoholic Bottle Shop2540 W. Divisionbendicionbar.com

While the dry bar doesn’t have regular nonalcoholic bar service yet, they host a busy schedule of events and have ample space for hangouts and private events. The shop part of the space features one of the largest selections of zero-proof beverages in the city and is constantly adding new products. While they don’t have CBD or marijuana-based beverages yet, they are working on adding them soon for the “California sober” set. Anyone who is interested in trying zero-proof beverages or wants to find a sober social community is welcome. 

In addition to her own space, Torres recommends the Chicago Sober Society and their (seasonally updated) Chicago Non-Alcoholic Beverage Guide as resources for finding zero-proof beer and cocktails on menus throughout the city and suburbs.

Read More

At this point in the month, our best intentions around New Year’s resolutions can seem a little less sparkly than they did at 12:01 AM on New Year’s Day. Is your Dry January turning into a real struggle? It can be difficult to change entrenched patterns in our lives and move through to a new way of being.

In the midwest, in winter, it’s hard to find a friendly community as an adult without alcohol. Most of our social lives revolve around alcohol-centered spaces. Think about it: You want to catch up with a friend? You head to a bar to grab a drink and chat. You want to see live music or a play? There’s always a beer or a glass of wine in the lobby or at the bar. Even weekend daytime meals can become mimosa-soaked affairs.

To combat this, Cristina Torres, the owner of Bendición Dry Bar, is forging a new path among the sober and sober curious. Torres went looking for a like-minded community when she got sober in 2020 because so many of her social interactions and friend time revolved around alcohol-centered spaces. She was faced with deciding between spending time with friends in those spaces and feeling like she wanted to drink, or not hanging out with friends at all.

“When I first got sober, I realized I had nowhere to really go. I found myself sitting on one of the benches by the eagle statue in Logan Square in mid-February at like 8 at night. I was like, ‘I don’t want to go home, but I also don’t want to go to a bar because I know I’m going to drink. I can’t go to a café, because most of them close at 4 or 5. There’s not another space for people like me,’” Torres recounted.

“Bendición was born out of a need for an alternative to the usual Chicago nightlife options currently available,” she continued. “On a cold February night, walking home from the bar crying at 2 AM, I knew there had to be something better for us—somewhere we didn’t feel excluded for not drinking, somewhere it didn’t feel awkward asking for a mocktail, somewhere we didn’t feel alone.”

Torres turned to Instagram and found a growing group of like-minded sober and sober curious folks in Chicago and across the country. She also started playing around with making zero-proof cocktails and creating sober options on menus in partnership with local bars like The Native, where she was a regular when she was still drinking.

“At The Native, I asked if for dry January in 2021 they would be interested in me providing recipes and products for nonalcoholic cocktails for their bartenders to make. We didn’t end up doing it until February that year, but it was successful, and they saw a big boost in their sales and people coming out just for that. It was such a hit that they added zero-proof cocktails to their regular menu,” Torres explained.

From there, she launched Bendición with a successful $15,000 GoFundMe and started doing pop-up sober events at spaces on the west side. She eventually partnered with The Succulent City, a plant shop, moving into the back of their storefront at 2540 W. Division in Humboldt Park. She then started the work of creating both Bendición, her zero-proof bottle shop, and a vibrant sober community. Over the last year, she has turned Bedición’s half of the space into a cozy and inviting spot where the sober and sober curious can come and sample zero-proof libations from her shop. They also have regular programming of fun social events like the Blessed variety show, Dungeons and Dragons night, and queer and BIPOC sober socials. Torres also wants to encourage people to just come and hang out.

“It’s super easy for people who have stopped drinking or are in recovery to self-isolate and feel like they’re by themselves. When they get sober, people lose friends because they’re not going out drinking anymore. I wanted to make a space where people know that they’re not alone.”

Besides her own sobriety, Torres has a very personal reason for creating this sober community, “In December of 2021, one of my really good friends—James—passed away after he was hit by a drunk driver. In our friend group, he was somebody who never said ‘no.’ When he set his mind to something, he did it. So to honor his memory, I’ve been working on saying ‘yes’ to things in my life. When he passed, the idea for the bar had kind of started and I was like, ‘OK, this is super scary and something I never, ever thought that I could do, so let’s see how far I can take it.’ That’s what James would have wanted.”

Bendición Dry Bar & Non-Alcoholic Bottle Shop2540 W. Divisionbendicionbar.com

While the dry bar doesn’t have regular nonalcoholic bar service yet, they host a busy schedule of events and have ample space for hangouts and private events. The shop part of the space features one of the largest selections of zero-proof beverages in the city and is constantly adding new products. While they don’t have CBD or marijuana-based beverages yet, they are working on adding them soon for the “California sober” set. Anyone who is interested in trying zero-proof beverages or wants to find a sober social community is welcome. 

In addition to her own space, Torres recommends the Chicago Sober Society and their (seasonally updated) Chicago Non-Alcoholic Beverage Guide as resources for finding zero-proof beer and cocktails on menus throughout the city and suburbs.

Read More