I just called the President of the United States a bitch!
The good news is I wasn’t arrested by the Secret Service and am still a free man. The bad news is I was yelling loud at my tv. It was almost as loud as the Democrats running for President at the last debate.
I admit that this isn’t the first time this has happened, although it may be the first time I used the b-word. But it doesn’t occur as often as you think. The reason for this is when I find out he’s giving a speech or doing a gaggle before he gets on a helicopter, I switch the channel. If I didn’t, I’d be MFing my television set on a daily basis….probably multiple times. I decided it’s better for my blood pressure and my general health to ignore him as much as possible.
But then they are times like Wednesday night.
Don has returned from India and he’s going to address the Coronavirus scare. I have plans to get on an airplane next week. An enclosed capsule full of two hundred people passing germs back and forth to each other doesn’t make me feel too safe. I know Don has the best experts in the country working on this potential problem. I know he’s been briefed on the best options to keep this from becoming a pandemic in the United States. So who better to go to to find out if I can make it to Las Vegas without getting a disease that could kill me? I’m willing to spend fifteen minutes of my valuable time to find out.
The first thing I heard was that Mike Pence is going to be the point man on this. He’s the Coronavirus czar. A guy who doubts most scientific findings is going to be in charge. I’m pretty sure that was the first time I called Trump a bitch. Hey, I didn’t say it was only one time.
I eventually turned off the television and moved on with my life…sorta. Being the smartass that I am, I went to Facebook and Twitter to ask if I’m the only one who screams at televised Trump. In my heart, I know others do it, too…I just want them to admit it so I can feel better about myself. Here are some of the answers:
“All night every night.”
“I watched maybe two minutes, but felt blood pressure rise and started yelling at the screen so with my 7-year old around, thought it was best to just turn it off.”
“I yell at my phone when I read anything about him.”
“I call him names I didn’t even think I knew! My mother, who never swore, would be really upset with me.”
Aha!! I knew it! I knew I wasn’t the only one. I suppose this solidarity should make me feel better, but it’s not going to help much when I get on that plane and people start coughing. Maybe I should pay extra for an aisle seat so only one person will be crammed in next to me.
I guess it can be worse. I’m scheduled to go on a cruise in June. I’m fairly sure Don and Mike will have this thing contained by then…fairly sure. If not, I’m looking forward to being quarantined with thousands of people in Alaska.
Related Post: Is there double jeopardy for impeachment?
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Filed under:
humor, News, Satire
Tags:
Coronavirus, Donald Trump, Mike Pence