Whether you think it’s irony or poetic justice, it’s true. My little doggie is a Trumpster. Or Trumplican, Trumpanzee or whatever you call them.

Bear in mind that we’ve only had this 1-year old little guy for a couple of months and he spent the formative 2-10-month period of his life with a crazy lady.

Now when I say crazy lady, I don’t mean it like when I say, Don’t listen to my wife, she’s crazy.

This lady was actually, certifiably crazy; like paranoid delusional crazy.

I’m going to cut Spencer (not his real name) some slack, but if he doesn’t get his act together pretty soon, he’s going to find himself in one of those Alyssa Milano commercials.

Speaking of, did you ever wonder why they spend so much time filming chained up, shivering dogs instead of cutting them loose and warming them up as soon as they find them?

Absent the MAGA hat, my doggie looks like a lot of other doggies, so you’re probably wondering how it is I came to know that he’s a Trumpster.

As I mentioned, we rescued him from a crazy lady, so he came with a fair amount of issues. He needs to be monitored closely so as not to get himself into trouble.

Sometimes his barking can be a little obnoxious and one of the things I noticed is that a doorbell ringing or a knock on the door coming from the TV will set him off.

That’s right, Barkie Von Schnauzer can’t tell the difference between real life and things he hears on TV. We can’t even let him watch Lassie because he likes to bark along with the intro.

Can you imagine waking up every morning with some little Trumpster sitting on your chest and licking your face?

I’ve rattled my sabre and made some threats, but at this point, I don’t think Broomhilda would deliberate very long if she were forced to choose between the dog and me and it ain’t gonna be me.

Here in America, we spend over $100 Billion a year on our pets. If someone could devise some sort of test to sort out the losers, they could probably scoop up some of that doggie dough.

No one should be stuck with piles of Trumpster poop.

Given their natural proclivity to lie, though, getting dogs to admit to their Trumpism may be harder than it seems.

Look at how it turned out with SCOTUS judges and Attorneys General.

Subscribe to the Chicago Board of Tirade
* You will never get SPAM
* Your email address will never be sold or given away
* You will only receive emails on days I post
* You can unsubscribe at any time
* Just type your email address in the box below and click the “Create Subscription” button

* Email me anytime: [email protected] OR [email protected]