Remember your first day of class when the teacher would ask you icebreaker questions? Everybody would roll their eyes and dread every single second of it, especially when it got to be their turn.

One of the questions that I remember almost always being a part of the icebreaker at some point was, “What is your biggest pet peeve?”

This was always a simple answer for me: When people share ice cream cones.

I know, it is weird. And is it really a pet peeve? I don’t know. However, what I do know is that there is nothing that disgusts me more than when people pass the icecream cone back and forth to eat it. It is GROSS.

Anyway, like I said. This was always my answer.

BUT… Lately, I think if I was sitting in a situation where this question was asked of me now, I think my answer might be different.

I know, I know, the anticipation is getting to hard to handle. What is it that I could possibly hate more than people sharing ice cream cones?!

Well, everybody… The answer to that is:

When people say things that they don’t mean. 

To me, words are SO important!!!!! (I know there are people out there that have never thought about the importance of words or think that I just feel this way because I am a writer…. But, that is FALSE.) When people take the time to share their thoughts, ideas, and feelings with you, that is IMPORTANT. So yes, I am one of those people who takes what people say to heart. I internalize whatever it is we are talking about and make sure that I value that they thought that they should share it with me. It could be something so minute and small, but to me, it still matters.

So you could see why it is so beyond frustrating to me when somebody says something that they end up not meaning?

In the wise words of my mom, Pam Parker, who engraved a few quotes and saying into my brain over the last 22 years…. SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY.

Don’t waste your time and your energy saying something to somebody because that is what you think that they want to hear. Understand that your words MEAN SOMETHING. That your time is IMPORTANT. And that the person that you are talking to cares and is listening so not saying what you really mean is just rude.

So what exactly do I mean? Here are some examples for you!

• When somebody asks if you are mad or upset about something because it is visible that you have some emotions towards whatever the situation may be, DO NOT SAY THAT YOU ARE FINE.
• Don’t just say what you think people want to hear.
• If you don’t have any actual intention of going somewhere or doing something, don’t say that you are planning on it or that you want to. Be honest.
• If your feelings change about something or somebody for whatever reason, ignoring or lying is not the answer. USE YOUR WORDS. People are going to respect you so much more if you just SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY.
• It is completely okay to not like a person or a situation, there is no reason to lie… there are adult ways to handle situations in a responsible and mature way.

Truthfully, I could go on and on in regard to this topic. I don’t understand why people feel like they have to say what they think others want to hear, but I am here telling you that there are people like me out there that want to hear your real thoughts and feelings.

So just try to be conscious about the conversations that you are having and how you are handling those situations in your life. Life is too short to not be honest with yourself and those people you surround yourself with.

And you might be thinking, “Sam, it is not that easy.”

Nothing is ever easy at first, but people say that practice makes perfect.