By Nicole Corbitt Harding, Official Six Brown Chicks Correspondent 

Looking for love? So often it’s not where you look but what you are looking for in a mate that matters most.

I think back to the time when we used to find a boy we liked and we would say, “we are going together.” So many of us hadn’t been around the corner together and yet you couldn’t tell us it wasn’t true love.

Got older and it’s all…Netflix and chill. Problem is, many haven’t even stepped foot into an actual movie theater with these so-called potentials.

And of course, when it comes to dinner dates,  we all know what sides of the menu certain food items are on…. Watch yourself!

While everyone is figuring out where to go to find a potential mate and how to impress him/her, the real questions lie in being clear about what you want and need.

Some of you are looking for Mr. Right and settling for Mr. Right now.  Others demand whole entire packages when their own pieces aren’t put quite together.

Here’s what I know for sure…. You can be in the most crowded space with someone and still feel lonely.

You can be at the Baddest B* in the spot and, if you’re with the wrong person, still feel insecure. The date can be over the top and the chemistry can never make it out of the bottom.

And yet, the right person can make you feel like the sun in a sky full of stars. Window shopping and dreaming about what you may have in the future with your mate can be almost as fun as actually achieving it. And with the right mate, cuddled up under the covers will beat the best beaches and the bluest water!

While you are searching for tall, dark, successful, gotta have this and be able to do that man, let me add these 6 things to your list:

·         He has the ability to be the star and the understudy in this thing called life

·         He can manage his ego and his temper.

·         He is well-versed in the love languages and can speak to yours

·         He is an authority but doesn’t dictate

·         He can be your teacher and your student

·         His presentation is great, but his presence in your life is far greater

And when it comes to dating we all know that a watched pot never boils. But when you finally get in the kitchen make sure all of the necessary ingredients are present!

And after 28 years being married, I can’t wait to see what he has cooked up for me next!

Nicole Corbitt Harding is an expert in leadership development, a wife and mother, who is focused on spreading positivity one conversation, one home project and one dynamite deal at a time. Follow her on Twitter at @RealTalkNic.