Best Songs by the Solo Beatles, or Worst Theater Experiences. You Make the Choice.

I wrote about my favorite theater experiences long ago. But sometimes writing “Best Of” lists get boring. Sometimes I’ve got to let the other flag fly. Can I remember my 10 worst theater experiences? Here’s a shot at it. ((Confession: although most of these shows have played Broadway, we saw most as local productions.)

Ten Theater Take-Downs and Disappointments

10.  Spring Awakening. Marriott Lincolnshire Theatre. 2016. Based on an old German play. It should have stayed there!

9.  Big Fish. Nederlander Theatre. 2013. If I could have stayed awake it might have made more sense to me.

8.  The Merchant of Venice. Bank of America Theatre. 2011. Starring F. Murray Abraham, I was so looking forward to this. But the air-conditioning failed on an unusually hot early spring day, and we felt as if we were broiling under a Venetian sun in mid-summer.

7.  Godspell. Marriott Lincolnshire Theatre. 2014. We left at intermission. At least half the audience left before we did.

6.  The Pirate Queen. Cadillac Palace Theatre. 2006. Alain Boublil and Claude-Michel Schönberg wrote Les Misérables. We loved it. They wrote Miss Saigon. We tolerated it. They wrote The Pirate Queen. We detested it.

5. Next to Normal. Bank of America Theatre. 2011. On Broadway, Pulitzer Prizes and Tony Awards. For the Broadway in Chicago production., not even a Jeff Award.

4. Into the Woods. Marriott Lincolnshire Theatre. 2006. I know I am supposed to like Sondheim. I try. I really try.

3. In the Sick Bay of The Santa Maria. Goodman Theatre New Stages Festival. 2019. It was short, it was experimental. The tickets were free and still over-priced.

2. Chess. Marriott Lincolnshire Theatre. 1990. Evita meets ABBA in this Tim Rice-Benny Andersson-Björn Ulvaeus mish-mash. My mother was babysitting for the kids and called us during intermission to tell us our son had a fever. We were overjoyed to have such a good reason to leave the theater.

1. Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown. Belasco Theatre. 2010. Patti LuPone, Sheree Renee Scott, Laura Benanti, Brian Stokes Mitchell. Too many stars, too much of a hot-hot-mess.

Did you like some of these shows? Or maybe you have even worse theater memories. Tell me about it!

Click here for the “Bests” in today’s double feature.

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